


We Are Wild

by wildfrancium



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: AU, Angst, Bipolar Ian, College, Deaf child, Disabled Character, Fluff, M/M, Mickey as a parent, like a lot of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-19 21:14:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 53,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3624477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildfrancium/pseuds/wildfrancium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickey, single father of a deaf 6 year old, just got a job working in the tech offices at UIC. There, he meets Ian, a senior, who has a way with kids.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Five years of hard work. Of late nights, libraries, interviews, shitty jobs, being elbow deep in shit he was forcing himself to learn, had brought Mickey to this moment. He left the computer lab on the UIC campus, the newest tech support worker. He started in a week when school started. He didn't believe in god, but the opportunity nearly made him a believer. 

It had been five years of teaching himself the ins and outs of computers. Surprisingly enough, some of it came naturally, and the rest hadn't been too much of a struggle to learn. But it was a lot of shitty jobs where he sat in a store and waited for someone to bring in their laptop complaining it wouldn't turn on. It was boring and didn't pay enough. 

So when he was told about an opening at UIC he decided to take the risk. He needed the job, not to mention it was a nicer area to live. He'd gone to Mandy who tended bar in a fancy club on the northside, and sheepishly asked her what make-up he should use to cover the lovely FUCK U-UP tattoos on his fingers. He normally taped over FUCK, but this was a proper job and he needed to appear professional. 

And by some miracle it worked. They actually liked his resume and admired his work ethic. The director of tech support on campus, Mr. James Egan, warned that it would mostly be work helping students who couldn't understand how to troubleshoot, but there would be a steady flow of work. 

Mickey was set up with discount housing, which was an apartment way bigger then he ever thought he'd be able to afford at this point in his life, a teacher ID, a Metra pass for the school year, which was great because he didn't own a car, a key to the buildings on campus, and a key to the offices. The tech office he'd mostly be in, unless working in a computer lab or library, was crammed full of parts, tools, and computers in various states. He'd been given his own desk in the other half of the room, there were six other desks, and told he was free to work there or in the workroom half. All orders went through the main computer at the main tech desk and any questions went to Mr. Egan, who told Mickey to simply call him James. 

Mickey felt good as he crossed the street to the park. It was just a few blocks from his new apartment and would soon be fitted with a deaf child at play sign. 

Six years ago, during a dark time in Mickey's life, his son Yevgeny was born. Mickey had been caught fooling around with another guy by his father who proceeded to beat both of them bloody, before bringing in Svetlana to fuck Mickey straight. It was the beginning of a long, miserable two years. 

About a year after Yevgeny was born, Svetlana decided to split. As if her marriage with Mickey was hard enough, having a deaf son took it's toll. So Mickey was left alone with the baby and divorce papers. Only thing thrilling about the entire situation was the divorce papers. 

But now things were good. Mickey had a decent job, Yev would go to a decent school, and they were far away from his homophobic father. Not as far as he'd like, but far enough. 

“Daaaad,” Yev droned in his flat voice. “Lemme down already.” The six year old was sitting on his fathers shoulders. Mickey laughed, lifting the kid down, and setting him on the ground. Yev was eying the slide, but Mickey turned Yev's head so that he was looking at him. 

“Don't wander off. I'll be on that bench,” Mickey said while signing at the same time. The six year old sighed and rolled his eyes as if Mickey had given him the hardest task in the world. “Go,” he barked pushing Yev toward the slide before going to sit on the bench. 

He yearned for a cigarette, one on the walk over hadn't been enough, but he did his best from smoking or swearing in places where there was potential for being a lot of kids. He didn't want some mom thinking they needed to call DCFS. He tried to concentrate on following Yev around the park. For the most part he listened, but then there were the times where he was suddenly half way to Mexico because he decided to follow a squirrel. 

Luckily there were only two other kids in the park as well as two more tearing their way across the field towards the park. The little girl looked about Yev's age, long, wild black hair and what looked like an entire box of bandaids on her leg, and her companion was younger and did his best to catch up to her. 

“UNCLE IAN I WIN!” the girl shrieked loud enough that Yev even turned his head. The person she was yelling at reached the park shooing her off to play. He made his way over to the bench next to Mickey. And Mickey tried his best not to check him out. 

But the guy was definitely Mickey's version of hot. He had bright red hair that looked like it was burning in the Mid-August sun. He was tall, his bare arms were toned, his skin was covered in freckles...

“Hi,” he said before Mickey could register that he'd turned dark blue-green eyes to look at him. He watched the guy take a long drink from the water bottle in hand. 

“Hi,” Mickey echoed. He glanced at the slide where Yev stood. He was looking at something in the sand. Hopefully it wasn't cat shit. Again. 

“Don't usually see many guys here,” the red head said leaning back. The way he was dressed, the heavy breathing, Mickey guessed he'd just come back from a work out. 

“Just moved in a few blocks away,” Mickey said. 

“Student?” the guy asked taking his eyes of Mickey to look at the kids he'd arrived with. 

“No uh tech support at UIC,” Mickey said realizing how relieved he was to say he had a job that didn't make him sound like a thug. 

“Mmm, I'm a senior,” he said. “Which kid are you here with?” he asked. Mickey pointed to where Yev was digging in the sand with a stick. 

“My son is the one in the Buzz Lightyear shirt,” Mickey said hoping that mentioning he had a son wouldn't turn the guy away. 

“He looks a lot calmer then my niece,” he laughed pointing to the girl. “Elise and her brother Ethan. They are my older sisters kids.” 

“Trust me Yev is not always this calm,” Mickey laughed. “He's usually a little shit. Curious about everything.” The curious incidents Yev had gotten into rush through Mickey's mind. How the kid found the dildo he'd never know. 

“I'm Ian,” the guy said extending his hand. 

“Mickey.” They shook and Mickey was glad his tattoos were still covered. Not that it really matter, but he wanted to leave a good impression because Ian was attractive. 

“Do you come here often?” Mickey hoped Ian didn't read into it much, but he was hoping to see Ian again. 

“Uh well I run on the track and stuff during the summer. And when I watch any of my nieces or nephew I come to the park.”

“Do you have a lot?” Mickey asked. Ian shook his head. 

“These two and then my older brother has a daughter and a baby on the way. My younger sister and brothers luckily don't have kids yet,” he said with a short laugh. 

“Big family,” Mickey commented. Ian shrugged. 

“There were six of us, but living on my own now feels so lonely,” Ian admitted. Mickey nodded. “Is your family big?”

“Eh, I guess, but I only am close with my sister.”

“I understand,” Ian said looking over the park. Mickey looked at Yev who was lying on his stomach on a swing and pushing himself with his feet and holding out his arms like superman. “Do you want to go to McDonald's with us? I promised them happy meals because it's a Skylander toy.” 

“What's a Skylander?” Mickey asked even more anxious for a cigarette now that Ian was asking to go places with him. Even if it was just McDonald's.

“No clue, but they said they'd die if they didn't get one,” Ian said with a smile. 

“You better do it then,” Mickey said returning the smile. Yev would be happy. They rarely ate out and if they ordered food then Mickey chose Chinese. He pulled out his phone to check the time. He was surprised to see that it was close to six and Yev hadn't shown up begging for a snack or something. 

“So you want to come?” Ian asked. Mickey could have sworn that he looked hopeful. But maybe he just wanted Ian to be. He nodded, standing up to go get Yevgeny. Ian was calling his niece and nephew. Elise launched herself off her swing at his call. Mickey grabbed Yev's swing, stopping it and making the kid look up at him. 

“We are going to go out to eat,” Mickey said while signing. He did it out of habit and because he knew half the time Yevgeny wasn't listening to him. With hearing aids he could hear if Mickey talked in a clear voice, but was still more used to reading sign and answering verbally. 

“Where?” Yev asked standing up. 

'A surprise', Mickey signed grinning. Yev lit up. Mickey took his hand leading him over to Ian and the other kids. Yev walked slower as they approached, hanging back so he could assess the other kids. Mickey wouldn't necessarily say he was shy, but he was definitely cautious and rarely spoke in front of new people. Mickey pointed to Ian. “Ian,” he told Yev spelling it out. He pointed to Elise. “Elise,” he said spelling it out. “And Ethan,” Mickey finished. Yev nodded. “Want to tell them your name?” Mickey asked. Yev made a Y in sign language and shook his hand back and forth. “That's the sign he chose for his name, Yevgeny. Or just Yev,” Mickey explained. 

“What's wrong with him?” Elise asked point blank. 

“He's deaf, he can't hear,” Ian said before Mickey could. Elise nodded. 

“Let's go get McDonald's now,” Elise said taking Ian's hand. 

“Yeah!” Ethan agreed. Yev looked up at Mickey excitedly. 

As they walked Mickey took the opportunity to have a desperately needed cigarette. He hoped Ian didn't mind. He watched Mickey light up, but said nothing. He just held out his hand and nodded towards the cigarette. Mickey took a long drag, holding the burning smoke in his lungs and exhaled passing the cigarette to Ian. 

He had his eyes glued on Ian as he too the cigarette between his fingers and brought it up to his lips. Mickey felt like he was about to drool, so he turned his attention forward. It had been a long time. A very long time since he last got laid. When Yev was a baby and even a toddler, it was easy for him to leave Yev with Mandy for a few hours and head to a bar, occasionally a club, and find someone to fuck him in the bathroom or suck him off in the alley. 

But by the time Yev was 4 he started waking up and looking for Mickey in the night. That's when he knew he had to call it quits. Maybe he'd go back to it when Yev was older, but for now he had to be there for his son. Even if it made him lonely. Not to mention he missed the feeling of a cock inside of him. Filling him up, stretching his hole. The heat of another body pressed against his. 

Mickey shook his head to get rid of the thoughts and gratefully took the cigarette from Ian. He finished it, stubbing the butt out with the toe of his shoe, and denied his craving for another. McDonald's was right there anyway. 

\-----------

The kids were silent as they ate, all in various states of bliss. Mickey and Ian kept their conversation light. Mickey learned Ian was studying to be a high school teacher. He had wanted to be a social worker, but his sister and brother had convinced him it would be too stressful. So now he was set on helping keep kids from dropping out of high school. Mickey laughed left out the fact that he'd dropped out at 16. Mickey did tell Ian that everything he did with computers was self taught. Ian found it impressive and Mickey did his best to not preen at the comment. 

When the kids were done and half asleep from food comas, Mickey decided it was time for them to part ways. Not that he wanted to so soon. He hadn't found many people to feel relaxed around. Partially he was never somewhere he felt he could trust strangers, and partially because people were usually turned off by the fact that he had a kid. 

Mickey picked a sleepy Yevgeny up and placed him on his hip. The kid was getting big and Mickey had no doubt in his mind that one day Yev would be towering over him. 

“We should exchange numbers,” Ian said returning from throwing trash away. “So we can all get together again or you know, whatever,” he added with a glint in his eye that Mickey wasn't sure he saw. The heavens never placed hot and gay men in front of Mickey. 

“Sure,” Mickey said pulling out his phone and opening contacts. Ian recited his number and Mickey saved it. He then shot a quick text to Ian, so that their numbers were both shared and it was up to him as well as Ian regarding making the next move. 

“Thanks, this was nice Mickey,” Ian said holding the door for everyone. 

“Yeah,” Mickey said. He waved as they turned to head in opposite directions. Once he was away from Ian he lit a cigarette and took a long drag. He felt jittery, like he was full of restless energy. Like he wanted to immediately text Ian. He had nothing to say, but really didn't want their meeting to be a one time thing. 

 

Walking to the apartment calmed him a bit, or it was the two cigarettes, and he felt good to be home after a long day. He toed off his shoes kicking them to the side and walked into the apartment. It's open floor plan made it seem way bigger then it really was. He placed his keys on the kitchen counter and went to set Yev on the couch. He was groggy, but waking up. 

“Hey, you've got to take a bath,” Mickey said as he signed, but Yev's eyes were barely open. 

“Toy?” he asked as Mickey pulled Yev's shoes off. He handed him the blue dragon like figure. Yev held is happily. 

“Tub,” Mickey said again pointing to the bathroom. Yev frowned, but rolled off the couch and went. Bath time was something that had taken a lot of practice over the years and Mickey was just getting the hang of it. He was glad that Yev was at least past the age where he'd probably drown in a centimeter of water. 

“Is Ian your friend?” Yev asked as Mickey rubbed shampoo into his dark hair. He turned to look at his dad. 

'Yes' Mickey signed tilting Yev's head back so he could rinse his hair. 

“I want them to come over and play,” Yev told his dad. Mickey smiled. 

'Okay I'll talk to Ian and ask.' Mikey signed glad that Yev had warmed up so fast. It helped that Elise talked non-stop and didn't seem to notice Yev only nodded or shook his head. She did have both Yev and her brother laughing though. 

 

Mickey tucked Yev away in his bed. It was his third night sleeping in his own room and luckily it was going good. If he woke up in the night, he had been taking his toys out of their packing boxes and playing instead of waking Mickey. 

He went to his room, stripped down to his boxers, pulled on a clean shirt, and went to the living room to watch TV. He held his hands out in front of him and thought about the things he hadn't told Ian. He made it sound like he was this all over good hardworking dad, but really he was just some thug who ended up with a kid he was forced to take care of it. And yeah he could have not done shit, but Yevgeny didn't deserve it. It wasn't his fault he was conceived. 

Mickey sighed, looking at Ian's number in his phone. He felt dumb for wanting to text Ian again. And then he felt even dumber for feeling dumb about wanting to text a hot guy. A hot guy who did things that made Mickey question if Ian could, perhaps, be interested in him... He shook his head. It was desperation. He saw a hot guy and it'd been so long that all he could do was fantasize about being fucked by the hot guy. By Ian. 

Wow he was pathetic. 

Mickey set his phone aside and began channel surfing. There was never anything on. At least not when he desperately needed to be sidetracked. 

He, eventually, settled on a documentary about spies during the revolutionary war, Yevgeny had a strong interest in documentaries that Mickey didn't understand partially because he was only six. He'd gotten a beer out of the fridge and was watching the TV through half closed eyes. His phone buzzed, jolting him back to reality. 

His heartbeat increased as he picked it up. There was no way. There was no fucking way that it was Ian. He wasn't that-

“Fuck,” Mickey muttered staring at the lit up screen. 

It was a text from Ian. 

And all it said was “You're hot.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this chapter wasn't supposed to be this long, but I absolutely love it and hope everyone else does too.

Mickey stared at his phone. He became very hyper aware of everything around him, like someone was going to jump out and scare him back into reality. He considered the text could have been an accident, but it'd been three minutes and Ian hadn't sent a text apologizing about the mistake. 

He typed and erased nearly ten times. He'd never had to deal with a guy texting him saying he was hot. The closest he got to that was guys breathing it down the back of his neck while they drank or fucked. 

Not in a text. 

Mickey continued to stare. He had to respond. Because Ian... well Ian was someone he wouldn't mind getting to know better. 

'I know.' he texted back. Immediately feeling dumb, he tossed his phone to the side and rubbed his hands over his face. He wasn't some stupid teenager about to flirt with a random hot guy he had met at the park via text. He was an adult. He was above this. Besides, he didn't have time for a hook up when he had his hands full. 

But his phone buzzed again sending tingles of excitement through him. Which he'd never admit to. Mickey fucking Milkovich didn't get excited over a fucking text. 

'Asshole. I want to see you again.' the message read. Mickey didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what Ian meant. 

Okay he knew what Ian meant, but he didn't know what Ian was implying. Did he want to see him? Or him wiping ketchup off a six year olds face? 

He thought about how easy it was to pass his cigarette to Ian. Like it was something casual that always happened. He thought about how Ian scooped up his nephew and niece when they were sleepy after eating. 

He stared at his phone. Mickey took a deep breath. 'When?' he texted. He ran a hand through his hair, standing up to go on the balcony and light up. The cigarette helped. Exhaling the smoke into the muggy night relaxed him. 

His phone buzzed after he finished his cigarette. 

'I'm going to the lake tomorrow.' Ian wrote. Mickey laughed. He wasn't really one for the whole beach thing. Of course, Yev loved it. The sand and the waves. Mandy invited him up to the good beaches on her side of the city a few times. But Mickey didn't come from a family that took outings to he beach. They didn't even do family outings. 

But the thought of shirtless Ian... he didn't let his mind wander. 

'Which beach?' Mickey asked before he thought about it too much. 

Ian's response came almost immediately. 'Met me at the Halsted blue line station.” 

'I don't own swim trunks.' Mickey typed. 

'Don't mind.' was Ian's response. Mickey smiled to himself. What the fuck was he doing? His phone buzzed again. 'Going to bed. Tomorrow. Noon. Blue line.' he read.

He sighed, pocketing his phone and heading back inside. It'd be nice to have friends. All his life he'd had his brothers, his sister, and various cousins, but not friends.

He wasn't that kind of kid growing up. He wasn't ever much of a kid...

Mickey went to the bathroom and turned the shower on. It was really nice to have a shower that didn't feel like someone pissing on him. He liked the pressure on his skin. He did his best to not trip on Yev's toys that he hadn't put away after his sons bath, and soaped up. 

And if anyone asked, he would have lied and said there was no way in hell that he'd jerked it to thoughts of Ian. 

\-------------------------------------------------------

Mickey woke to find Yev in his bed with a bunch of books. The kid sat content against a pillow flipping through a brightly colored picture book. He was concentrating and Mickey wondered if he was reading it. Yev was a good reader, when he wanted to be. Mickey didn't know where the intelligence came from, but the stubbornness was definitely from him. 

Mickey reached out to touch Yev's leg and let him know he was awake. Yev grinned and signed 'I want more books.' 

Mickey sighed. The kid was attached to the library so much so that Mickey had to make weekly visits to keep him satisfied. Which was yet another thing on the long list of things Mickey never envisioned himself doing. 

'We're going to the beach today.' Mickey signed. Yevgeny's grin was big enough to break his face. He squealed happily and hugged Mickey tight around the neck. He  
rubbed the kids back before sitting up and crushing him in his arms. 

'When?' Yev signed after squirming out of Mickey's grip. 

'Few hours' Mickey signed. Yev launched himself off the bed and tore out of the room. Mickey sighed running a hand through his hair and grabbed his cigarettes as he headed out of the room. 

He stood on the balcony lighting up. 8 AM and he already knew it was going to be another sweltering day. It was probably good they were going to the beach. 

Especially over the public pool, which could be nice, but having grown up where it was not a nice place caused Mickey to avoid the pool. 

Yev opened the sliding door making Mickey turn. The kid fanned himself and whined. 

'Not that hot' Mickey signed when Yev didn't let up the dramatic act. He lay on the ground and pretended to be dead. Mickey rolled his eyes. He nudged Yevgeny with his foot until he opened his eyes. 'Where are your hearing aids?' Mickey asked. Yev sat up with a shrug. He picked at the loose hem on his pajamas. Mickey put out the cigarette. Yev's hearing aids seemed to always “magically” disappear. Sometimes it was because he was six and stuck things in random drawers for no reason, sometimes it was because he didn't care about wearing them, and some days it was because he was refusing to wear them so he hid them. 

Mickey could never tell what kind of day it was. 

He finished his cigarette and bent down to pick up his son. They'd start looking in his room first. He really needed to spend time organizing the kids room. There were toys and books and clothes everywhere. The dresser drawers were all open, Yev's collection of rocks was the only thing on the bookcase, and all his crayons and markers were dumped in his bed. 

'Yev' Mickey signed pointing at the room. 'Hearing aids'. He set the kid down before going to his bed and starting to clean up. Mickey tried so hard to get Yevgeny in the habit of putting his hearing aids on the nightstand, but they weren't there. They were rarely there even when Mickey put them there himself. 

Yev immediately went to a pile of clothes and pulled out his swimsuit and a shirt. Then he disappeared into his closet and returned with sandals. Then it was to a box to pull out his sand toys. He smiled at Mickey after assembling his pile. 'Let's go!' he signed. Mickey put his hands on his hips. 

'Hearing aids then breakfast.' Mickey signed and watched the kid roll his eyes. Mickey actually feared for a time when Yev was older given the attitude he was given now. 

After twenty minutes of Mickey looking around while Yev pretended to help, his hearing aids were found in his underwear drawer. He was glad that he'd been able to pick up and he tried to not be annoyed with Yev who told him he had no idea how his hearing aids got into the drawer. 

Mickey set Yev up at the counter with apple juice and toast with honey on it while he made cheesey scrambled eggs. It was a typical breakfast request and one of his more normal options. Sometimes he wanted to eat applesauce on his toast or put hot sauce in his oatmeal. Mickey didn't ask questions. 

“What are you drawing?” Mickey asked turning to Yev. He had taken the entire stack of printer paper to breakfast with him. Yev held up the picture. 

“Curious George,” he said in his flat voice. Mickey had to admit that with Yev's current Curious George obsession he had gotten better at drawing monkeys. 

“It's good,” Mickey told him as he scrapped a small portion of eggs onto Yevgeny's plate. He took the rest for himself. 

 

After they ate, Yev happily ran off to get dressed while Mickey suddenly became hyper aware that he was going to see Ian again. Very soon. He looked through all his clothes, twice, and still didn't know what to wear. Which pissed him off because he was going to the goddamn beach. 

He went out on the balcony to smoke before he forced himself to simply put on a pair of jeans and sleeveless shirt. He slipped on his shoes while Yev grabbed snacks and then worked on yanking the stroller out of the closet. Yev scrunched his nose. 

“I hate the stroller,” he told Mickey. 

“There's no way you're going to walk all that way and I'm not carrying you and your crap,” Mickey said placing Yev's sand toys and towel in the stroller. He packed away their snacks and water and a few beers. He made sure Yevgeny used the bathroom and got a hat and was slathered in sunscreen, before he felt ready to leave  
the apartment. 

He triple checked his pockets for his smokes, keys, and phone and then let the front door close behind them. 

“BBBBBBEACCHHHH,” Yev hollered as he ran for the elevator. Mickey laughed because it sounded way too much like bitch. 

 

They arrived at the station right on time. After walking three blocks, Yev decided he wanted to ride in the stroller and was now content playing on Mickey's phone.  
Mickey kept his head low, not wanting to draw attention to himself while he waited for Ian. 

Who thankfully showed up not long after Mickey had. Ian stood in a tank, bright green swim trunks, running shoes, and sunglasses. He didn't stand out much from the college crowd waiting for the L. He waved to Mickey, who did stand out with a stroller and informal beach attire, and headed in their direction. 

“Glad you made it,” Ian said to Mickey as he crouched down to wave at Yev. Yev smiled sheepishly and looked up at his dad. 

“Ian invited us to the beach,” he said and signed at the same time. Yevgeny nodded. 

'I like his sunglasses' Yev signed to Mickey who smiled. 

“He likes the sunglasses,” Mickey told Ian. 

“I like them too. I'll keep my eye out for some matching ones,” Ian said. Mickey translated for Yev incase it was hard for him to hear on the crowded platform. Yev nodded. Ian's sunglasses were a black frame with intense blue colored lenses. 

“Blue is his favorite color,” Mickey added when Ian stood. He looked down at Yev who had gone back to whatever he was doing. 

“I like blue too,” Ian said pushing his sunglasses up and smiling at Mickey. Mickey averted his eyes feeling like it was a disguised compliment. 

The L rushed into the station and everyone piled in. Luckily it wasn't too crowded and it wasn't a struggle to get the stroller in. 

“I thought we'd go to the public beaches on the north side,” Ian said to Mickey. They were standing too close, but Mickey pretended he didn't notice he could smell  
Ian and that he smelled like a wonderful mixture of soap, deodorant, and sweat. 

“Yeah that's fine,” Mickey told him. It was also good because if things got weird or anything Mandy would be nearby to come and intervene. She lived in Lincoln Park with her extremely financially stable boyfriend who did engineering. They were looking to move to fucking Michigan Ave or something last Mickey heard. And she wasn't doing too bad herself at a bar near the Loop. Mickey had gone a few times to see her. It was a little too classy for him, but she fit in like she was born there. 

“I used to go for runs along the lake all the time,” Ian said to Mickey. “I'd push like eight miles.” 

“Only running I did was from cops,” Mickey laughed. Ian smiled. He was relieved the comment hadn't fallen flat. 

“Did that too,” Ian admitted. 

They switched trains and headed a bit further north before getting off and walking towards the water. “I'm going with my sister and her kids to the zoo next weekend.  
Well this weekend, as kind of an end of summer fun trip.”

“Which zoo?” Mickey asked. Ian laughed. 

“Lincoln Park obviously,” he said. “We're not paying to go to the fucking zoo. But you guys should come. When does Yev start school?”

“Tuesday. He has to come to work with me on Monday though,” Mickey explained. Luckily Mr. Egan had said it was absolutely not a problem if Mickey had to bring Yevgeny sometimes because there wasn't school. 

“You should come,” Ian insisted. 

“Yeah, yeah alright,” Mickey said pulling out his cigarettes. He'd smoked while they waited for their connecting train, but the thought of going more places with Ian made his need for the nicotine increase greatly. 

As they crossed the park to the sand, Yev nearly dove out of the stroller and began pulling at Mickey's free hand to get him moving faster. Ian had taken over pushing the stroller and the fact that they probably looked like a happy couple with a kid was causing Mickey so much anxiety that he was sucking away at his cigarette like it was his lifeline. 

Mickey and Ian let Yev pick a spot on the crowded beach and they laid out their towels. 'I want to go swimming' Yev was signing over and over, but Mickey ignored him. 

“Eat your lunch first,” he said holding out the sandwich. Yev reluctantly sat on the towel and began stuffing food in his mouth. “Carrot?” Mickey offered Ian. Ian took some. 

“I've wanted to come to the beach for a long time,” Ian said stretching out. 

“So you decided to come with a guy you just met?” Mickey asked with a short laugh. Ian shrugged. 

“I don't know many people that I'd want to spend time with outside of school,” Ian admitted.”Burned a lot of bridges in the past. But I don't know, you seemed  
different,” Ian said with another shrug. Mickey looked at him unable to get a read on his expression. 

“Trust me, I'm not that different nor am I that great,” Mickey told him while shoving a water bottle at Yev. 

“You're hotter then most,” Ian said simply. They were silent and Mickey tried not to read into it. He also tried to ignore how attractive Ian looked lounging in the sun from his burning hair to the freckles that stood out against his pale skin. The guy didn't seem like he tanned much. Probably just burned like Mickey. 

“Not that hot,” Mickey grumbled ignoring Ian's smile. “And still that's a horrible – Yev stop burying your carrots in the sand – it's a stupid fucking excuse,” Mickey told Ian. He paused to tap Yevgeny on the leg and sign what he'd just said when his son made it apparent that he wasn't listening. 

“How'd you learn all the sign?” Ian asked ignoring Mickey's statement. Mickey sighed. 

“It started at the hospital. We had to go to like a proper doctor and everything, the clinic didn't cut it,” Mickey started. Luckily there were grants he and Mandy tediously applied for that covered majority of the cost of the doctors and Yev's hearing aids. “His doctor though, she told us there were a number of courses I could take, but I couldn't afford any of it, so we started with those baby DVDs with basic sign. It worked well enough, but when he was three he got his first hearing aids and he was talking and I needed more sign because he didn't like his hearing aids.” Mickey felt like he was rambling, but Ian seemed to be listening intently and nodding along. “I lucked out and his doctor told me about this library in the Northern suburbs that was holding free sign language classes. I took Yev and my sister and we learned together. Spent two years learning at the library. I've never studied so hard in my life,” Mickey said with a weak laugh. He looked over at Yevgeny who was looking out over the water. “So yeah I mean we didn't learn everything. I look a lot of shit up online. But he could spell and read at four so that helped a lot.”

“That's pretty impressive. I remember reading an article about how a lot of parents of deaf children don't know sign language,” Ian told Mickey. That annoyed him. It was like people chose not to be able to talk to their children. 

“Fucking bullshit,” Mickey muttered. He leaned back, stretching his legs out. Yev signed that he wanted to go in the water. Mickey signed that he needed more sunscreen first. 

Yev pouted, but got it out of the stroller and pulled off his shirt. He sat on Mickey's lap and sighed heavily. 

“Want me to take him into the water?” Ian asked. “Since you aren't exactly...” he trailed off gesturing to Mickey's jeans. He thought about it. Yev could swim a little. Mickey was just going to have him stay on the shore and not go totally into the water. 

“Yev, is it okay if you go with Ian? Then you can go into the water,” Mickey said. Yev nodded as he pulled off his hearing aids. Mickey made sure Yev was looking at him. 'Not too deep. Stay with Ian'. He signed. Yev nodded again turning to look at Ian. “Not too deep. He can kind of swim, but he doesn't like putting his head under.  
He pees in the water,” Mickey listed off. Ian laughed at the last one. 

“It's okay. I swim with my nieces and nephew all the time,” Ian reassured Mickey. 

“He won't talk, so ask yes or no questions,” Mickey said suddenly feeling anxious. He barely knew Ian and yeah he trusted that Ian wasn't a creepy pedophile that was going to run off with his son, but he was worried. He usually had to do this all himself or with Mandy. 

“It'll be okay. I promise,” Ian said reaching out to take Yev's hand. He immediately started dragging Ian to the water. Mickey watched them go feeling an awkward pang on separation anxiety. He fished his cigarettes out, lighting up, and watching Ian and Yev in the water. The more he smoked and the more that he saw they were fine, he started to relax. 

And then he was paranoid about how oddly domestic it felt. Like he was just casually out at the beach with his son and another man. No one had given them odd looks, so they probably didn't think they were a couple. But like, someone had to have thought that right? Two guys with a kid? Like it was a thing that happened even though this was not a date or even an anything. 

Mickey swore loudly when his phone rang snapping him out of his rushing paranoid thoughts. It was Mandy. 

“What?” Mickey barked into his phone. 

_Where the fuck are you? I hear water and people._

“I'm at the beach with Yev,” Mickey said. Mandy cracked up. 

_Wow you get a nice fucking job and a new apartment and suddenly you are like little white picket fence fucking dad._

Mandy continued to laugh. Mickey rolled his eyes. “I was invited here by a friend, bitch,” Mickey told her. 

_You have friends? Since fucking when?_

“He's a new friend.”

_HE?!?? Is he gay? Are you on a fucking date? Are you playing house with another guy??_

“Shut the fuck up god we are just friends,” Mickey snapped. Ian saying he was hot ran through his mind, but there was no way in hell he was telling Mandy that. “I have no idea if he's gay either,” Mickey added although recent events would conclude that he had at least some sort of attraction to men.

_Oh my god. Invite him to dinner tonight. I'm bring Thai food._

“Wait what?” 

_I got the night off and we need to celebrate your job. I'm coming over with food later. Your friend better be there._

Mickey could practically hear the air quotes she put around friend. “We'll see. When are you coming over?” 

_Uh like 7 I think. I'll bring drinks. Expect me for the night._

“Yeah fine. Text me to make sure I'm home. I don't know how long we will be here,” Mickey told her. 

_Yeah okay. Invite your friend. See you later asshole._

“Bye bitch,” Mickey snapped, but she'd already hung up the phone. He sighed. If he didn't invite Ian he'd never hear the end of it. If he did invite Ian, Mandy would probably spend the night dropping not so subtle hints about how Ian should fuck Mickey's brains out.

Mickey blushed. He had done his best to keep his mind off of sex with Ian because no. No there was no way. He was some twenty-six year old boring dad. Not the kind of guy who had random hook-ups anymore. That was all off the table because of Yev. 

Although Ian probably looked great naked...

Mickey tore a new cigarette out of the package and lit up, desperate to suck the toxins into his lungs and force himself to think of old grandmas naked instead of Ian naked. 

Eventually, Ian came trudging up the beach after Yev who was running and launched himself at his dad. Mickey caught Yev with a oof and quickly signed 'You're wet'.  
Yev smiled proudly signing to Mickey that Ian had taken him to the sandbar and out far. Mickey ruffled the kids hair as he settled on his towel opening a bag of graham crackers. 

“He loved going out to the sandbar,” Ian told Mickey. 

“I've never gone out that far with him, so yeah it'd make sense,” Mickey said handing Yev his hearing aids. Yev rolled his eyes and reluctantly put them on. 

“The water is nice this year too. Not too cold,” Ian added. Mickey nodded. 

“What are you doing later?” Mickey blurted out. Both Ian and Yev looked at him making Mickey anxious. “It's just my sister is bringing Thai food over and I was wondering if you wanted to like come over and have some?” Mickey couldn't stop the words from falling out of his mouth even though his embarrassment level was quickly climbing. He couldn't look at Ian who hadn't said anything for ages. 

Well realistically it was probably, maybe ten seconds, but each second seemed like an eternity and all Mickey wanted to do was retract his statement. 

“Yeah sure. I'm not doing anything,” Ian said. Mickey let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. 

“Okay,” Mickey said weakly. What the fuck was he doing. Like really, what the actual fuck? He had his job to be thinking about and Yev starting a new school, but all he _really_ wanted to do was get to know Ian better. 

And that was fucking terrifying. He _never ever_ wanted to know people better. It was usually something forced on him like going out with coworkers to be polite. But here he was sitting on the fucking beach with Ian AND Yev. His world with Yev was mixing with this outside world Mickey had purposely ignored and now he had Mandy convincing him to do things like invite Ian to fucking dinner? What the fuck. 

He needed a drink. Or ten. The thought of being completely plastered soothed him, but with a son it was something he couldn't actually do. 

“You alright?” Ian asked suddenly.

“Uh yeah. Yeah,” Mickey said quickly. He opened his carton of cigarettes slowly taking one out. “I just... I just I don't fucking do things with other people. My world is  
Yev and my sister and occasionally my family. I don't have friends. I never really liked my coworkers. And well I guess there was this mom at Yev's old school and we kind of got along. Our kids caused the most trouble. We joked they were the future Bonnie and Clyde which, looking back, is fucking terrible,” Mickey said and sighed. He was rambling his boring life story. 

“It's okay. I don't really have many friends either outside of my siblings. As I said, I burned a lot of bridges, I mostly avoid people at school unless we have to work together. I used to spend all my time getting high and fucking old dudes,” Ian laughed. Mickey didn't ask if he was serious or not. 

“Mmm,” Mickey grunted. He took a long drag before passing the cigarette to Ian. Mickey watched Yev digging in the sand. He was walking a thin line. He was afraid to bring new people into Yev's life because he was never sure how long they'd be there. Friends left. Friends weren't a forever thing with Mickey. Hell in a few months Ian would graduate and probably go off to have some great job in fucking Alaska or Bora Bora or somewhere far away. And Yev wouldn't get it. And Mickey would be sad.  
He didn't want to admit it. He'd spent a handful of hours with Ian, but he already knew if he left he'd be sad. 

But things were already in motion. 

They were sitting on the beach and everything was surreal and wonderful and it was like Mickey had entered some new dimension. And he didn't want it to stop even though he was torn. He watched Yev fill his bucket with sand and smooth the top. He looked at Ian leaning back on his elbows blowing smoke up towards the sky.  
And there was Mickey right in the middle. Where it was great. Where it was dangerous. Where everything was new and fragile and scary. 

He finally decided that after dinner with Ian and Mandy, when he was tucking his son into bed, he'd ask what he thought about Ian. And if Yev liked him, which  
Mickey was sure he knew the answer to that, he'd keep Ian around. 

But purely as a platonic friends thing. 

Even though he already wanted more... but he was determined to ignore that part of himself.

“Do you only have a sister?” Ian asked. Mickey shook his head taking the cigarette back.

“The older brothers but two aren't around much. Jail or something. I don't know. They probably have children or girlfriends somewhere. My brother Iggy though, him and his girlfriend and their two kids, we see them at holidays. I'm not on the best terms with my dad, but we do like Christmas and stuff at home if he's not in jail.” Mickey hated it. He hated taking Yev into that house, but the one time he skipped out on Easter his dad had showed up drunk and tried to break into his apartment. Yevgeny had been three. 

“My family is crazy too. My oldest sister is on her second marriage. She isn't sure who Elise's dad is... then my older brother and his long term girlfriend have a two year old who is the sweetest thing on Earth. My younger sister is at ISU for child care. My younger brother just got out of juvie again. My baby brother is really smart though, but he deals with selective mutism. It gets bad when he's anxious... kind of shuts down, but he's been through some shit so,” Ian shrugged. He said it all so casually which kind of surprised Mickey. “Don't know where my mom is right now. She comes and goes. Dad is rotting in jail where I hope he stays,” Ian said shrugging again. He turned and looked at Mickey. “So I get the whole fucked up family thing.”

Mickey nodded. He wanted to say something about Svetlana, Yev's mother, but he had vowed to never speak of her, good or bad, in front of Yev unless he asked. It was just easier that way. 

“I always thought of myself as a therapists wet dream,” Mickey said with a laugh. Ian nodded. 

“So what's your sister like?” Ian asked. Mickey laughed again. 

“Fouled mouthed, abrasive, strong willed, bold, all that shit. But you ask Yev and he'd say she was gods gift to the world,” Mickey said with a smile. 

“I can understand that,” Ian laughed. 

 

They left the beach around 4 after Yev went in the water twice more and ate a shocking blue popsicle that got everywhere. Now he was asleep in Mickey's arms while he walked towards his apartment with Ian. Ian pushed the stroller and Mickey tried, again, not to think how perfect domestic couple everything was at the moment. 

“I take it this is your building?” Ian asked pointing to the DEAF CHILD AT PLAY sign. Mickey nodded, digging in his pocket for his keys. 

“It's kind of a mess. We moved in like four days ago,” Mickey apologized when they were at the door. 

“Don't mind,” Ian said pushing the stroller inside. 

“I'm gonna put Yev in his room, but you can shower or whatever if you want,” Mickey said pointing to the bathroom. “If there's shit in the tub just put it on the floor and there are towels in the closet. I think,” Mickey was telling Ian. Ian was staring at him. Mickey frowned. “You know incase you wanna get the sand out of your ass crack,” Mickey told him. Ian smirked. 

“Here I thought you were just trying to get me naked,” Ian said. Mickey made a big deal of rolling his eyes. Ian laughed, disappearing into the bathroom. Mickey refused to let his mind wander and went to put Yev down. 

“Daddy,” Yev murmured holding on to Mickey's shirt to keep him from leaving. 

“What is it?” Mickey asked sitting down hoping he didn't ask for something buried in one of the boxes. 

“Is Ian here?” Yev asked. Mickey paused for a moment and nodded. “I like Ian,” Yev told him. “He can understand some sign language because his brother doesn't always talk. I showed him how to spell his name and your name and my name.”

Mickey was taken aback. “Like what sign?” he asked. Yev ran through the signs for eat, drink, school, I love you, yes, and no. Mickey wondered why Ian hadn't told him. 

“Daddy?” Yev asked curling up on his side, arms tight around his enormous, like literally his size, Nemo stuffed animal.

“Hmm?” Mickey asked still preoccupied with what Yev had told him. 

“Can you sing to me?” he asked. Mickey groaned. 

“Yev, Ian is here,” Mickey complained. Yev made puppy dog eyes until Mickey sighed. “One song.”

''Marshmellow World,” Yev said automatically. He liked when Mickey sang Christmas songs to him regardless of it being August. Mickey sighed again smoothing Yev's dark hair. 

“It's a marshmellow world in the winter when the snow comes to cover the ground,” Mickey sang ignoring the hum of the shower running. 

 

Ian was leaving the bathroom just as Mickey was leaving Yevgeny's bedroom. “Want some beer or something?” Mickey asked heading for the fridge. 

“Sure,” Ian said settling on the couch. 

“Yev said you know some sign?” Mickey asked handing him beer. He didn't want to beat around the bush. Ian shrugged. 

“When my brother wasn't talking they tried to get him to use sign. He didn't want to. They tried numerous times, but he was just always stressed about communicating. He didn't start talking to Debbie, my younger sister, until he was six. The lady at the clinic got him talking, but he closed up again because things got messy at home,” Ian said and sighed. “He still doesn't really talk much to us, but that's probably our faults.”

“Hey somethings just happen,” Mickey said in attempt to cheer Ian up. Ian smiled cracking his beer open. 

“What's the first song that pops into your head?” Ian asked taking a sip. 

“Uh... Santeria I guess? By Sublime,” Mickey said. “Why?”

“Just curious. Why Santeria?”

Mickey laughed. “Because Mandy, my sister, she fucking insisted it was Sangria for the longest time. She probably would still say it was Sangria,” Mickey said shaking his head. They'd had the argument over and over even though he'd proven it was Santeria more than once. Ian smiled.

“I'd say it was an honest mistake,” he said. Mickey shook his head again. 

“Nah it was just her being dumb and stubborn. What about you? What pops into your head?” he asked. 

“Blank Space,” Ian said making Mickey groan. 

“We heard that how many times today on the train?” he moaned. 

“At least three or four,” Ian told him. Mickey groaned more. 

“Yev only wanted to listen to Shake It Off for like a month. He's finally moved onto something else. He loves Top 20.”

“Is that even appropriate?” Ian joked. 

“Trust me, there's plenty of Kid Songs mixed in. I have nightmares about the Purple People Eater,” Mickey laughed. It wasn't far from the truth. He often woke up with some kids song stuck in his head. 

“That's kind of terrifying,” Ian admitted. 

“You have no idea,” Mickey told him finishing his beer and getting up for another. 

He and Ian slipped into mindless conversation until Yev woke up about an hour later. Mickey got a call from Mandy saying she was almost there. They watched Finding Nemo while waiting. It was one of Yevgeny's favorites and had been since he was three and screaming for more Nemo. Yev told Mickey to tell Ian that he loved the ocean and liked ocean documentaries. 

Mickey also told Ian how he had a Finding Nemo related nightmare involving him losing Yev when he first saw it. Ian told him that it was adorable. 

 

Yev squealed with excitement when there was finally pounding on the front door. He pulled open the door happy to see his aunt. 

“Where's your father child?” she asked, sweeping in setting bags on the counter. Yev was signing away at her. “Wow, wow Yev slower,” she said eyes following his  
hands. She turned to Mickey with a smirk. He groaned internally. 

“Mandy,” he grunted. She picked Yev up and slung him over her shoulder. 

“Mickey,” she said pushing past him. “I'm Mandy Milkovich,” she said extending her hand. They shook.

"Ian Gallagher." 

She nodded and set the squirming Yev on the couch. She stepped back and smiled at the three of them. “Now this is fucking adorable,” she laughed tying her blonde hair back. “I'm going to have a cigarette. Set the table,” she ordered moving out to the balcony. Yev followed her out. 

“So yeah, that's my sister,” Mickey said weakly.

“Nothing I can't handle,” Ian said clasping Mickey's shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

 

Mandy spent nearly the entire meal grilling Ian on how they met, his family, his time around kids, school, his major, and his extracurriculars. Every time Mickey tried to redirect the conversation he was shot down. Luckily Ian seemed happy to answer her questions and Mickey had to admit that it was nice to learn about Ian without having to be the asker. Mandy's bluntness came in handy. 

She let Ian ask her questions too. She also found ways to talk Mickey up which found extremely embarrassing. 

As dinner wined down, Mandy's attention was mostly focused on Yev. They were having an intense conversation about school or something. Mickey didn't pay attention to what they were signing because Yev looked happy to be talking with his aunt. 

“Your sister reminds me of my sisters. Never a dull moment,” Ian said when they were alone on the balcony. Mandy was tucking Yev in for the night while Mickey had a smoke. 

“She used to never shut up when we were younger,” Mickey said shaking his head. “She got in trouble for it too.”

“I can imagine,” Ian said. Mickey smiled. Dinner had been smooth enough. The alcohol helped too. Mandy brought vodka and the three of them were pleasantly buzzed. At least Mickey was. 

“I liked learning about you though,” Mickey found himself saying. 

“Trust me, that's only my good side,” Ian laughed. Mickey smiled. 

“Yeah we don't need to take the skeletons out yet,” he said. He never wanted to, but he also knew he didn't want to lie to Ian. Friends didn't lie. Lying made people  
leave. “You need me to walk you to your apartment?” Mickey asked with a cheeky grin. “It can be dangerous out there.”

“I think I'll survive,” Ian said as Mickey stubbed out his cigarette. He turned to look at Ian who was looking at him. 

_This is when the kissing happens._ Mickey brain told him and he abruptly turned his head so that he was looking out at the moon. Mickey Milkovich did not  
_kiss_ people unless it was his son and he was hurt or going to sleep. And he especially didn't THINK about kissing people. 

He pushed away from the railing and opened the sliding door. Mandy was sitting on the couch doing a poor job of pretending to read a magazine. Mickey could feel her eyes on him as he crossed the room with Ian. 

“I'll see you later Mickey. And I hope to see you again Mandy,” Ian said politely. 

“I hope to see more of you too, Ian,” she called sweetly. Mickey rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah I'll talk to you later,” Mickey said with a smile as he held open the front door. 

“Bye,” Ian said flashing Mickey a smile.

He waited until Ian was in the elevator to shut and lock the door. He turned to see Mandy grinning so wide she looked like the damn Chershire cat. 

“What?” Mickey grumbled. 

“I need to know everything,” Mandy said excitedly. “You are going to tell me right now how much you like him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing against Taylor Swift. I'm not a huge fan, but I like her music. It was just the first song I could think of that'd be Top 20.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is coming out early because after the season finale I needed to write happy, cute, fluffy things. So enjoy this trip to the zoo. :D

The days leading up to the weekend passed faster then Mickey expected. He was needed on campus every day to get things up and running for the semester. He fucked around with some laptops fitting them with new hard drives or batteries. Yev came with and spent his time mastering Angry Birds. It was all he wanted to talk about with Mickey. 

Oh and when Ian was coming over next. 

Mickey sighed, defeated every time, and told Yev they'd see him on the weekend at the zoo. Which Yev was over the moon about. Mickey had never taken Yev to the zoo. The closest he'd gotten was when he went on a trip to a farm with Yev's kindergarten class. They got to pet a lot of the animals. Yev liked the alpaca things, but not as much as he loved touching the cows udders. After the fifth time of pulling Yev's little hands away Mickey wondered if he should just give up on life. 

The thing that did _not_ make the few days until the weekend pass quickly were Ian's texts. Granted part of it was Mickey's fault too, but waiting hours in between sending and receiving was causing Mickey enough stress to work through entire pack of cigarettes in a day. 

It wasn't like they were even talking about anything important either. Ian told him about the classes he was talking and the student teaching he'd be doing. Mickey told Ian about the heaps of work his boss told him to expect in the first few days and about all the shopping he did with Yev to prepare him for first grade. Ian sent him pictures of his apartment when the sun filtered in the shades just right or what he was making for lunch. Mickey sent pictures of the boxes he still had to unpack and Yev sent nearly thirty pictures of all his toys. And Ian also sent Mickey a few pictures of himself and Mickey returned them with pictures of himself that were all terrible and made him feel extremely lame because apparently Ian could look like a model when brushing his teeth. 

On Friday, Ian was telling Mickey about his visit to his brothers house in Wilmette in the Northern Suburbs. He told Mickey that his entire apartment could fit into his brothers' bathroom. Mickey knew how he felt. Mandy had shown him pictures of the apartments she was looking at with her boyfriend and Mickey was sure that less then a square foot of the places were more expensive then everything he owned combined. 

Ian told Mickey how his brother was some big time engineer who spent a lot of time with robotics while his long term girlfriend was in medical administration. He spent pictures of his niece, Laila, who looked like a two year old model. Dark hair, long eyelashes, perfect smile... Mickey told Ian that Yev had never been that adorable. Ian disagreed, so Mickey sent a picture of Yev struggling to pick a wedgie. 

And he felt it again and again, that domestic perfect couple thing. Like they were talking about _Yev_ like Ian was a dad on a business trip away from his family. It drove Mickey insane because he wanted more. He wanted everything. The more comfortable with Ian got, the more he longed for it to be a _real_ thing. 

Which was absolutely, without a doubt, the most fucking terrifying thing Mickey had ever thought in his entire life. And he'd had a lot of near death experiences. 

\-----------------------------------------------------

Mickey jerked awake when Yev body slammed into his stomach. Mickey rubbed his eyes, sitting up and blearily staring at Yev who was jumping on the bed signing zoo over and over. It was 7 fucking 38 in the fucking morning. 

Mickey grabbed him, hugging him tightly, and pulled the covers back up signing sleep to a wiggly Yev. But he wormed his way out and signed that it was time to get up. Ian was picking them up at 10. Ian's sister, Fiona, had a mini van that they were taking. 

He groaned, flinging the blankets off, and trudged into the kitchen yawning. 'Hearing aids'. He signed to Yev who'd parked himself at the counter already. He pouted, but Mickey ignored him and pointed to his bedroom. Yev went, making a grand effort to show how hard the task was. Mickey grabbed a glass of water and went on to the balcony to smoke. 

“I found one,” Yev said coming outside. Mickey rasied his eyebrows at him. 

“Where's the other one?” he asked sipping the water. Yev shrugged, mushing his face against the glass door. “Did they get up – Yev stop – did they get up and walk away?” Mickey asked shooing Yev away from the door. He shrugged again. 

“Yeah I guess,” he said giving Mickey the most uninterested look. Mickey sighed, taking one last drag, and steered his son inside. 

“Where was this one?” he asked. 

“On the nightstand.” 

“And the other one wasn't,” Mickey confirmed. 

“Yep!” Yev said happily and went over to his dresser. He was six and giving Mickey gray hair. 

After Yev tried on three different outfits and Mickey told him he could not wear flip-flops, Mickey uncovered the missing hearing aid which was inside a firetruck. Yev said he had no idea how it got there and that it must want to be a fire fighter. 

Mickey rolled his eyes going to the kitchen to start breakfast. Yev wanted a bagel with avocado. Mickey hadn't bought an avocado in his entire life until Yev came home from kindergarten demanding one. Mickey had to look up what it looked like online because he'd only eaten them in guacamole. 

“I like the clothes Ian wears,” Yev told Mickey after having his straw taken away. He had been blowing bubbles in his milk and slopping it everywhere. 

“Is that why you chose those clothes?” Mickey asked. Yev was wearing coral colored, as Mandy stressed, shorts and a blue plaid shirt. Both gifts from Mandy who wanted to, and he quoted, 'dress Yev like he was part of a yacht club, not a fucking South Side thug'. Mickey had told her to kindly fuck herself back to her yacht club. 

“Yeah,” Yev said. “Because you don't dress like it's summer,” Yev added. Mickey rolled his eyes. 

“Thanks Yev,” he said sarcastically, ruffling Yev's hair. He groaned, swatting Mickey's hand away. “What do you want for lunch?” Mickey asked clearing away their dishes. 

“Goldfish,” Yev said digging through a cabinet and pulling them out. “And grapes. And a ham sandwich and a cheese stick,” he listed off. They'd gone shopping for food for his lunch when school started. It probably wasn't the smartest idea to do it so soon. 

“Only ham?” Mickey asked opening the fridge. 

“Yeeeees,” Yev told him as if Mickey should always know that. 

After making lunches and preparing snacks, Mickey went to shower and get dressed. Once again, finding clothes was too fucking stressful. He decided on another sleeveless shirt and his favorite jeans. He didn't have much variety to his wardrobe apart from it being work clothes and other clothes. 

He found Yev lounging in his booster seat flipping through his book on animals and the signs for each one. It'd been a gift for his 4th birthday and he had it memorized. 

“Are you bringing that book?” Mickey asked double checking that they had everything. He was trying not to be nervous. But Ian texted him saying they were three minutes away and Mickey wanted to smoke. 

Instead he was pacing the living room chewing on his nails. 

His phone buzzed in his hand, making him jump, and he looked to see it was Ian calling. Also, if anyone asked Mickey definitely didn't save one of Ian's pictures to his contact in Mickey's phone. 

“Yeah?” Mickey asked answering the call. 

_We're outside. Need help with anything?_

Mickey took a deep breath. This was happening. He was seeing Ian again – 

_Mickey?_

“Uh yeah. Yeah I've got his booster seat and stuff, so yeah,” Mickey said stumbling over his words like a fucking moron. 

_All right, be right there._

The call ended and Mickey took a calming breath. 

“Is Ian here?” Yev asked startling Mickey. 

“Uh yeah, we're going to meet him in the hall,” Mickey said opening the front door. “Grab the bag,” he added. Yev dragged the bag with their food and water out into the hall leaving Mickey to pick up his booster seat. He couldn't remember the last time they were in a car. Probably when they were going somewhere with Mandy and her lover. When Yev was a baby he had a car, but it became too expensive. 

“Hey!” Ian called emerging from the elevator. Mickey hoped he wasn't drooling over Ian and his tight v-neck. 

“Hi,” Mickey said locking the door. Yev suddenly became all shy and stuck close to Mickey. 

“Hi Yev,” Ian said picking up the bag. “Is this everything?” he asked Mickey. 

“Yep,” he said pulling Yev out from behind him. “Go push the button for the elevator,” Mickey said to him. He went sprinting down the hall. “He's shy sometimes,” Mickey said with a shrug. “But he's been talking about you non-stop for days.”

“Good things I hope?” Ian asked with a laugh. Mickey smiled climbing into the elevator. 

“Yeah good things.”

 

Fiona was the adult version of Elise. They had the same wild hair, although Fiona's was tied back, the same eyes, and smile as well. She greeted Mickey, turning down the radio and saying he could sit in the middle with Yevgeny. Elise was happy to see them and Ethan watched them without saying a word. 

Mickey watched Yev relax when Fiona turned the radio back on and Elise sang all the words to Let It Go. Mickey tried to get Yev to sing along since it wasn't long ago that it was all he wanted to watch, but Yev just shook his head. He smiled though as Elise got louder and louder and begged everyone to sing with her. Fiona, reluctantly, kept replaying the song.

But soon the entire car was filled with a poor rendition of Let It Go. Ian was turned around in the front seat pretending to conduct as he sang. Ethan finally caved and sang with his sister. And last was Mickey. He sang, mostly looking at Yev, who was cracking up, but occasionally locked eyes with Ian. 

He was doing his best to swallow the panic building in his stomach because he was singing a song from fucking Frozen in front of Ian who was hot and just, Let It Go was not how Mickey was used to attracting people. 

 

They found a parking space, unloaded, and had a much needed smoke break before going into the zoo. Mickey laughed at how at home he felt, smoking with a group outside of the fucking zoo like they were getting ready to fuck shit up. Although with Elise's energy they might be doing just that. 

Fiona brought a wagon, fitting their stuff and Ethan in while still leaving room for Elise or Yev. Yev declined at the moment, holding tight to Mickey's hand and his book. 

And then it was into the zoo. 

“TIGERRRRRRRS!” Elise roared as they approached the first exhibit. 

“God Elise, we don't need them to hear you!” Fiona shouted at her daughter. Mickey lifted Yev up to see the tiger sleeping in the shade. 

'He's sleeping.' Yev signed. 

“Yeah. Cats sleep a lot,” Mickey told him. 

'I want a cat.' Yev signed. 

“We can't get a tiger, Yev,” Mickey said. He could feel the kid roll his eyes. 

“Is that an animal book?” Ian asked Yev. He nodded. “Can you show me tiger?” 

Mickey felt his heart melt into a goddamn fucking puddle as Yev opened the book. Like serious, he felt so fucking sappy he almost had to excuse himself to go do something not sappy like shot gun a beer. 

He watched Yev sign tiger as well as spell it. Ian copied, making Yev smile. 

“I want to learn too!!” Elise shouted. Mickey was learning that she only seemed to have a loud setting and an off setting. 

Yev showed Elise who went over to Fiona showing her and Ethan. 

“We gotta do this for every animal!” Elise announced. “Come on!” she said pointing to the next exhibit.

“Elise stay with us!” Fiona shouted making Elise's shoulders sag as she forced herself to stop walking.

“Mooooom,” she groaned. “Hurry uppppppp!” 

Mickey laughed, lifting Yev onto his shoulders. “View up there good?” he asked. “Is he nodding?” Mickey asked Ian. 

“Yeah he's nodding,” Ian said holding Yevgeny's book for him. 

They wandered around with the mass of people at the zoo. Yev proudly showed off his signing skills. Elise thought it was the best thing in the world. Mickey and Ian chatted lightly about how they only went to the zoo on class trips and it had always been a cold day. Ian liked elephants while Mickey said he was more of a lion kind of guy. Yev then signed to Mickey that he had to tell Ian that he also liked baby penguins. Ian laughed and Mickey sarcastically thanked his son who grinned innocently. Mickey also learned he and Ian lived near each other on the Southside of the city when they were growing up and attended middle schools in adjacent districts. They probably would have crossed paths in high school if he hadn't dropped out freshman year. 

He felt weird admitting that to Ian, but he didn't seem to care. “I can imagine you being some little thug who thinks he's hot shit,” Ian laughed. 

“Hey, I was hot shit,” Mickey told him. Ian laughed again. 

“Is that where the tattoos come from?” Ian asked. Mickey felt embarrassed. 

“Yeah,” he admitted. Ian smiled. 

“They fit you, even though I know you're a softie who has nightmares about Finding Nemo and likes baby penguins,” Ian teased. Mickey narrowed his eyes at Ian. 

“That's confidential information!” Mickey cried in mock hurt. Ian laughed. 

 

They headed into the Gorilla House, which was apparently Elise's favorite, and watched the kids run up and push their faces against the glass. Elise was singing a song from the Jungle Book to the gorillas. 

“It feels nice to finally cool off,” Fiona said fanning herself. “It's also nice to pretend she's not mine,” she laughed. Elise was doing some sort of gorilla inspired dance which Yev and Ethan actually joined in with. 

“I understand that,” Mickey told her. He told them about a time when Yev was three and they were hanging in a kiddy pool when Yev decided to say fuck it to his swimsuit and diaper and took off down the street. There were a ton of people in their yards. Mickey was so mortified that he made Mandy chase after Yevgeny. 

“That's like Ian when he was five decided he always wanted to sleep naked,” Fiona laughed. Ian turned red. 

“It lasted like three days,” he muttered. Fiona hugged his shoulders. 

“It was way longer than that. Lip would chase you around shouting wiener,” she laughed. Ian rolled his eyes. 

“Thanks for telling such a great story sis,” Ian said sarcastically. “And you stop laughing,” he told Mickey with a grin. 

“Love you, Ian,” Fiona said hugging him again. “Now let's go feed the gremlins before it gets dark,” she said heading towards the kids. 

 

Fiona spread a blanket out under some trees for them all to sit on while they ate. The kids ate like they hadn't seen food in years. Fiona also brought them all cupcakes as a treat which Mickey knew made today the best day of Yev's life. 

“Think I can smoke here?” Mickey asked, not really looking for an answer as he lit up. 

“I mean we're outside,” Ian said holding his hand out for Mickey to pass it. 

“Mmm,” he said handing the cigarette to Ian. He could feel Fiona watching them. He prayed to any god out there that she wouldn't make a comment. 

“I think we should go to the kids area after this,” Fiona said instead. Mickey relaxed. 

“Yeah that's good,” Ian said. “And we can finish up over by the giraffes and stuff.”

Yev turned to look at Mickey. 'And the seals again' he signed. 

“Yeah and Yev wants to check on the seals again,” Mickey added. 

“Okay that works. They are next to the kids area,” Fiona said looking at the map. 

The finished up and made their way towards the childrens area. Elise walked hand in hand with Yev and her brother singing I Just Can't Wait To Be King from the Lion King. 

“I think she takes that song literally,” Fiona murmured. “Like she thinks she's going to rule the entire fucking world,” she said shaking her head. 

“It's cute,” Ian insisted. 

“Only until you have to live with her,” she laughed. 

“You're saying that like I haven't,” Ian told her. 

“Those were her calm years, before she made a deal with the devil or found some radioactive goo or whatever,” Fiona said with a sigh. Mickey laughed. 

They lucked out and the childrens park area was not too crowded. It was busy, but Mickey didn't feel like they were going to lose any of the kids. They were all pumped to climb on the ropes and through the tubes. 

After telling them to stay together sixteen times, they finally let the three off them go off. Ethan didn't make it far, but Elise and Yev tore through the course like little monkeys.

It gave Mickey a moment to think of how amazing the last week had been. It was like the world was telling him his hard work was all worth it and he was being rewarded. Of course there was also the issue of developing a major crush on Ian that he refused to accept because he didn't _do_ crushes and relationships and kissing. God the thought of kissing Ian... like Mickey couldn't handle those thoughts without a fucking ice cold shower.

But goddamn did he want to spend every day going off on adventures with Yev and Ian like some shitty picture perfect family. 

He needed a fucking cigarette. 

He sighed. He couldn't wait to get home and go through the pictures he took. Most of them were of the kids, but there were a few on Ian and Yev bent over Yev's book while Yevgeny showed the sign to him. Those heart melting fucking pictures fuck he was in too fucking deep already and he couldn't find the shore. 

 

They checked on the seal one last time, as per Yev's request, and he used Mickey and Ian's phones to take a million pictures. He also named them; Buzz, Brownie, and Dory. 

Before reaching the giraffes, they stopped for a bathroom break. Mickey stayed with the wagon while Yev went, happily, with Ian and Ethan. Mickey sent a picture of Yev, Elise, and Ethan doing their best gorilla impressions to Mandy and pocketed his phone. He wasn't about to get sucked into another are you on a date conversation with her at the moment. 

Fiona and Elise made it out of the bathroom first, somehow. Elise went stomping after some pigeons while Fiona went to Mickey. “I'm really glad that Ian is making friends,” Fiona said rummaging through her purse. “It's kind of been just his family as his friends for – Elise get over here!! – for awhile.”

“Yeah, I haven't had many friends either,” Mickey told her. “With Yev and everything.” 

Fiona smiled. “You're good for each other,” she said waving to the boys. Mickey didn't have a chance to ask what she meant, but that didn't mean he didn't spend every fucking second walking to the giraffes trying to figure it the fuck out. 

 

The kids were all passed out in the car. They were headed home, all of them tired, but in a good way. Mickey felt very relaxed in one of the middle seats listening to the kids gently snore and the radio humming in the background. The day was cooling off and it was just really nice. It made Mickey really happy. And more than just happy because Yev was happy. 

Before leaving, they let each kid pick out a postcard and Yevgeny held tightly to the picture of the three seals. It was beyond perfect and Mickey wished he could freeze the moment and hold on it forever. 

Mickey lifted the still sleeping Yev out of the car whispering thanks to Fiona while Ian grabbed his stuff. The rode up to his floor in silence and Mickey struggled to get his keys out. He wouldn't admit it, but he wasn't ready to say goodbye to Ian yet. 

“I am glad you came today,” Ian said with a small smile. 

“Yeah I think I can speak for both of us when I say we had a great time,” he said pointing to where Ian could put the booster seat. 

“My brother, Lip in Wilmette, is having a barbeque next Sunday and,” Ian paused for a moment looking at Mickey. “I'd like it if you and Yev came too,” he finished. The beach. Zoos. Barbeques. Ian sure knew how to woo Mickey. 

Mickey smiled. “Yeah sure we'll come. I always enjoy a good barbeque,” he said hiking Yev up on his hip. He was heavy, but Mickey didn't want to break the moment to put him down. 

“Okay good,” Ian said sounding relieved. He didn't turn to leave though. Instead he smiled at Mickey. “Yev talked to me when we were in the bathroom,” he said nearly shocking the life out of Mickey. “He said he was having a really good time and wants to go places more often,” Ian laughed. “I said I'd see what I could do. I also promised to stop by the tech office on Monday to say hi and wish him good luck.”

Mickey didn't have words. It took Yev a long time, like a very long time, to warm up to people enough to use his voice freely. He was very self conscious of it because of enough rude people in his short past. There was a very small circle of people he talked freely with. And he'd put Ian in that circle. 

“I figured I'd let you know because he said he doesn't talk much,” Ian added. Mickey nodded. 

“Yeah,” Mickey said nodding. “It usually takes forever for him to warm up.”

“It probably helped that we were, somehow, the only three in the bathroom,” Ian laughed. “He sang Frosty the Snowman to Ethan because apparently it helps him relax and pee?” 

Mickey burst out laughing. “God, god Yev loves Christmas music,” Mickey told Ian. Yev lifted his head at the sound of his name, rubbing his eyes and yawning. 

“Are we home?” he asked squinting at Mickey. 

“Yeah buddy,” he said smoothing Yev's hair as he put his head back against Mickey's shoulder. 

“Mmm,” he mumbled. 

“I should go,” Ian said in a soft voice. Mickey nodded. 

“I'll see you later,” he said. 

“Bye. And bye Yev,” Ian whispered stepping into the hallway. 

“Bye Ian,” Yevgeny murmured into Mickey's shoulder. Ian smiled at Mickey and waved.

When he was gone and Mickey finally shut the door. He couldn't stop smiling. He wasn't sure if he'd even been _this_ fucking happy. 

“I want chicken,” Yev mumbled when Mickey set him on the couch. 

“Okay,” he said taking Yev's shoes off. The kid sighed, sinking into the couch cushions still sleepy. Mickey felt so proud that Yev had decided to talk to Ian. He was definitely going to take them out for ice cream after dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously this is one of the funnest things I've ever written. 
> 
> Feel free to come say hi >>> [tumblr](lexatargaryen.tumblr.com)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally have no self control and can't stop writing this fic. So from now until further notice, updates will be whenever.

Day one on the official job. Mickey felt rather important. He arrived on the dot with Yev in tow. His coworkers were genuinely nice to his son which helped Mickey relax. Cara, the other brand new employee who looked like a baby, had brought in doughnuts and Lewis, a bald man who looked maybe 30, grabbed a bean bag from the lounge near the computer lab for Yev. 

Yev took a doughnut and sat down ready to play Angry Birds all morning. 

Mr. Egan had been right. The office opened at 9 AM and there was a very steady stream of work to be done. Mickey had never seen so many people having computer issues at once. Most were easy fixes, but for about every twenty laptops they got, one needed new parts. 

Mickey worked hard, eager to prove he belonged there, but the office was fairly relaxed. Before lunch there were two calls from teachers who needed help in their classrooms, but others took the assignments. He liked how when he looked up from his work there were three pictures on his desk. One was him, Mandy, and Yev taken a few years ago, but the other two were from the zoo trip. The first was a picture of Mickey and Yev by the seals and the second was a group shot with Ian in between Mickey and Fiona and the kids in front of them. He had a ton of other pictures he'd taken to Walgreens and printed out, but he only had three frames. He promised Yev that they'd buy more on the weekend. 

He had to show a lot of self control while printing the pictures though because he desperately wanted to print all the pictures Ian had sent him of himself. But that would be too confusing for Yev. And besides he could jerk off just fine to pictures on his phone. 

On his lunch break, he ate outside on a bench with Yev. It was another hot day so there weren't many people outside, but Yev was glad to be outside. 

“Where's is Ian?” Yev asked spooning parfait into his mouth. There was a point in time where all Yev wanted to eat was yogurt. He had no idea where the kid got his taste buds. 

“Class. He said he'd be here later,” Mickey reminded him. Yev didn't appear to care about what Mickey said. 

“Is he coming to my school with us?” Yev asked. 

“Why would he do that?” Mickey asked confused. At four o'clock they had a meeting at Yev's new school with the aid who would help him if he was having trouble hearing the teacher or communicating. 

Yev shrugged. “He listens to what I say.”

“I listen to what you say,” Mickey told him feeling hurt. 

Yev rolled his eyes. “You have to because your my dad,” Yev said. Mickey shook his head. Of course. 

“He has stuff to do now. School like you,” Mickey said. “Besides we are heading to Mandy's after the meeting.”

“Can Ian come too?” Yev asked. Mickey wanted to give in, but the moment he started bringing Ian around to Mandy's then she'd tell the entire world that they were dating. Even if they weren't and never would and god wouldn't it be nice though? He thought. Coming home to someone and no he couldn't because that was never going to fucking happen. “Dad?” Yev asked cutting off Mickey's haphazard train of thought. 

“No Yev,” he said forcing the words out. He pulled out a cigarette. Yev groaned like Mickey was the most difficult person in the entire world. “We are going to a barbeque with him on Sunday,” Mickey reminded him. 

“How many sleeps?” Yev asked taking off his gym shoes and wiggling his toes. 

“Uh six I think,” he said and Yev groaned again sinking down on the bench. “Eat you graham crackers,” Mickey said ignoring him. 

“Will Elise and Ethan be there?” he asked. Mickey nodded. “And Fiona?” he asked and again Mickey nodded. 

“All of Ian's brothers and sisters,” Mickey said to Yev. Yev ate his graham crackers. 

“I want a brother or sister,” he said. Mickey groaned internally. He'd dreaded this type of conversation since the day Yev could talk. 

“I'm fine with just you,” Mickey told him. Yev didn't look sold. 

“But a brother or sister would be fun,” he added. “Someone to play with.”

Mickey sighed reaching over and stroking Yev's hair. “Right now it's just going to be you and me buddy,” he said. Yev let out a sigh sitting up. 

“Just me and you forever?” he asked. Mickey shrugged. Sure he'd _entertained_ the idea of having a partner and a perfect family with Ian, but it was a one time thought and then he buried that shit like waaaay down. 

“Yeah,” he told Yev who scrunched his face up not liking that idea either. Mickey tried not to be hurt. There'd been a lot of conversations about why he didn't have a mommy too and when he was five Mickey had told him that he liked boys not girls. Which then caused the awkward as fuck conversation with Yev's kindergarten teacher when she called him to let him know that Yev told the class that Mickey wanted to kiss boys. 

“But what about when you go on vacation? What about me?” Yev asked lying down on the bench. 

“If I ever go on vacation we are going together,” Mickey laughed. Maybe one day they could go on a trip to like fucking Lake Geneva, but that trip was nowhere in the near future. Yev groaned and said nothing. “Come on let's go back inside,” Mickey said picking up Yev's shoes. He reluctantly put them back on.

 

Mickey got Yev settled down. He was refusing to talk and only answered in sign and eye rolls. Mickey ignored it opening the PBS app on the tablet and shoving it at Yev telling him to watch TV. 

The stream of people slowed down in the afternoon leaving Mickey and his coworkers mostly making runs to classrooms or working on repairs. Mickey tried to stay focused. Ian had texted him a little after one saying he was headed back to campus, done with his student teaching for the day. That was almost an hour ago though. So technically, Ian could walk in at any moment and even though Mickey saw him less then 48 hours ago he found that he was fucking craving Ian like he was a fucking cigarette.

Which Mickey also needed because thinking about everything Yev had said earlier was mixing with thoughts of Ian and that was a HUGE fucking no-no. 

“Mickey?” Cara asked sticking her head through the door. He looked up from where he was ordering parts. “There's someone here to see you,” she said with a sly smile. Mickey felt his ears grow hot. She watched him cross the room to Yev and sign that Ian was there. 

Yevgeny bolted to the door like a damn fire had been lit under him. Mickey shook his head, following Yev through the door. Cara raised her eyebrows at him, but luckily headed into the back of the office. 

“Hey,” Ian said with a grin. He had Yev on his hip and he was whispering something into Ian's ear that made Ian smile bigger. 

“What?” Mickey asked feeling his stomach twist up in worry about what idea Yev had and was telling Ian. 

“He says you like boys,” Ian laughed. Mickey buried his face in his hands mortified. He could practically feel the pride running off Yev. He couldn't be mad though. He'd made the decision to tell him seeing it was only fair. He didn't want to hide the fact that he was gay even if it led to awkward situations like the one he was currently in. 

“I'm trying not to regret telling him,” Mickey muttered keeping his face buried. He wondered if it was possible for the world to swallow him up right now. Or rewind or something to make Mickey not want to lie on the ground and give up. 

Ian laughed again. “It's okay. I like boys too,” Ian said. The words turned to Ian could fuck me in Mickey's mind and he choked on the air he was trying to breathe. He coughed obnoxiously unable to make eye contact. He'd fucking known that though. He knew Ian had some sort of attraction to guys, but hearing the words? Mickey wanted to blurt out questions like do you like me and he had to physically bite his tongue so that he didn't. 

But like really. What the fuck was going on? He wasn't some dumb teen. He was perfectly capable of handling information like a fucking adult. 

“You okay there?” Ian asked. Mickey could tell he was trying not to laugh. 

“Yeah,” Mickey wheezed. Yev looked so fucking delighted with Mickey's near death choking fit. His son was going to be a real piece of shit later in life. Like he loved him, but the kid was going to put Mickey through the ringer. 

“Yev said you have a meeting at his school?” 

“Yeah with the aide that's going to help him this year. Some like fresh out of college student named Aubrey,” Mickey explained. 

“Come with us,” Yev prompted. Mickey sighed. Ian laughed. 

“Sorry kiddo, I've got a mountain of homework,” Ian said. Yev groaned. “Hey maybe one day we can work on our homework together,” Ian added. Yev lit up. Ian placed the kid on the counter Mickey was leaning on. While they discussed homework he got lost in admiring how nice Ian looked in a button down and dress pants. 

Fuck. He was so fucking fucked without the actual fucking happening. 

“How's the first day been?” Ian asked redirecting the conversation to Mickey. He shrugged. 

“It was a bit crazy in the morning, but now it's like every other job I guess. Except we're catering to more people,” he said with another shrug. 

“That's good,” Ian said. 

“How was teaching?” Mickey asked ignoring the fact that they were having this casual conversation like an old married couple wondering about each others fucking day. 

“I think it's going to be okay. The seniors are a little rowdy, but nothing I can't handle. It's just weird teaching four different grades. It's a wide span of lesson planning and everything. I was supposed to just be with juniors, but the school is short on teachers currently. So I'm supposed to be student teaching, but I was kind of thrown in without a life vest and told to,” Ian paused and covered Yev's ears, “fucking swim,” he laughed. Yev grinned knowing exactly what Ian had said. 

“Wow. Glad I never wanted to be a teacher,” Mickey said. His job actually sounded like a breeze compared to Ian's. He couldn't imagine having to control a room of kids, of any age, without turning it into a dictatorship. 

“You'd be the teacher everyone would want to,” Ian said gesturing the last part. Mickey shook his head. 

“I think you have that covered,” Mickey told him. He was trying not to lose his cool because they were FUCKING FLIRTING AND HE WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THAT. HE HADN'T FLIRTED IN YEARS. IN FUCKING YEARS. 

Ian grinned. Mickey needed a cigarette and a shot of something 100 proof. 

“I've got to be getting to my class,” Ian said to both of them. Yevgeny pouted. “Have fun in first grade little man,” he said ruffling Yev's hair. “I'll see you later.”

“Bye Ian,” Yev said as Ian headed towards the door. 

“Bye. And bye Mickey,” he said holding Mickey's gaze for a long moment. And then he was out the door walking away from the office. It left Mickey feeling a little lonely. He'd been spoiled. He spent grand amounts of time with Ian compared to a short check-in during work. He didn't like it. He wanted to run out and tell Ian to come back for... more time. 

Yev looked at Mickey who said nothing as he helped him off the counter. Yev bounded through the door into the back where Cara was sitting at her desk grinning at Mickey. 

“He's cute,” she said softly when Mickey sat at his desk. He gave a non committed shrug and wondered if Cara and Mandy were somehow related because when it came to Ian they both gave him that smile. That there-has-to-be-more-going-on-here-and-I-need-to-know smile. “Is he your boyfriend?” she whispered scooting her chair of to Mickey's desk. 

Why? Why did every woman in his life want to know if there was anything between him and Ian?

“Just friends. I met him when I moved here,” Mickey told her hoping it'd appease her curiosity. 

It didn't. 

“What's his name?” she asked. 

“Ian,” Mickey told her. She raised her eyebrows. “Gallagher?” he added. She nodded scooting back to her desk and opening her laptop. “What are you doing?” he asked. Cara said nothing. “Cara!” 

Yev looked up at him. Mickey sighed, getting up and going to Cara's desk. She was on Facebook. 

“Oh my fucking god!” he hissed trying to hit escape on her keyboard. She swatted his hand away. 

“I'm just fucking looking, christ,” she said. “He's not on here, but he's in this picture,” she said pointing at a picture of Ian and another redhead. A girl. 

“One of his sisters maybe,” Mickey said. Her name was Debbie Gallagher. Cara clicked. “Why? Why are you fucking doing this?” Mickey whined. Cara just shrugged. He looked back at the profile picture. It looked like it was taken at a graduation given the girl was wearing a cap and gown. 

“He's listed as a sibling, but doesn't have Facebook,” Cara sighed. Ian's name was among a handful of others. Fiona (Gallagher) Dawson. Lip Gallagher. Carl Gallagher. Liam Gallagher. Cara clicked through Debbie's pictures.

“Can we please not?” Mickey said weakly. There weren't many other pictures of Ian, but there was one specific one of a probably ten year old Ian holding a tiny Debbie on his lap that Mickey found insanely adorable. 

“Let's try this,” Cara said opening another tab. 

“Try what?” Mickey sighed as she pulled up the UIC site. “You are not looking at his records,” Mickey said firmly. She ignored him, signed in, and searched for Ian. Mickey refused to look at the screen.

“Huh,” she said concerning Mickey. 

“What?” he asked when curiosity got the better of him. 

“He was first enrolled six years ago and finished three semesters...” she trailed off. “Oh he was on academic probation after his sophomore year. Then there's a two year gap. He re-enrolled two years ago,” she explained. 

Mickey nodded. He didn't know what he was supposed to do with that information. It's not like he was going to go up to Ian and ask why. He was going to forget that he stood idly by while Cara internet stalked Ian and his family. 

“What are you doing?” Yev asked startling Mickey causing him to nearly shit his pants. 

“Yev,” he groaned taking a deep breath. Cara laughed. “Yev start getting ready. We have to go soon,” Mickey said shooing his son away. He turned to Cara. “We never did any of this,” he whispered going back to his desk. She shrugged with a sly grin on her face. Mickey didn't like it. 

 

Yev's school was a short walk from campus, thankfully. He'd take the bus to school though. They got there early and were given a tour of the school by the elementary principal. She was nice and relaxed which Mickey liked. He was used to principals being old and stern, but she seemed almost fun. 

Mickey and Yev were introduced to his teacher, Ms. Mercado, and let into the classroom to wait for Aubrey. 

The school looked a lot like Yev's old school. Colorful walls, colorful tiled floor, colorful lockers. It wasn't nearly as grungy he remembered his schools being. Yeah the desks and chairs looked a bit worn and the books weren't brand new, but it was clean and tidy. 

Aubrey arrived promptly on time. Her straight black hair was tied back and she wore black rimmed glasses, but what caught Yev's attention was her Guardians of the Galaxy shirt. She talked away about her credentials and how she'd spent the last 8 summers at a camp for deaf kids. 

Yev signed to her a bit, mostly about Guardians of the Galaxy, but Mickey was glad he wasn't being 100% shy. He felt confident that Aubrey was going to do her job and help Yev a lot. Which made his life so much easier. He wanted his son to continue to like school so that he'd go and not get into stupid shit like Mickey did when he was younger. 

As they were leaving the school for the L, Mickey checked his phone and found Ian had texted him. Yev was thankfully walking ahead of him jumping over each crack in the sidewalk instead of trying to read Mickey's texts over his shoulder. 

'You look really good in that shirt.' was all the text said. Mickey rolled his eyes. It was as bad as the 'You're hot' text. What was he supposed to say? Thanks? Mickey wasn't used to compliments unless they came loaded with foul language from Mandy. He was starting to suspect Ian was sending him stupid texts like that to torture him. It was the only logical reason. 

So he typed an extremely lame reply because he didn't know what else to say. 'Thanks. You looked nice too.'

After he sent it he wanted to punch himself in the face. It was a terrible text. It was probably the worst text Mickey had ever sent in his entire fucking life. 

He pocketed his phone, trying to shrug off how embarrassing he was, and lit up grateful for the nicotine. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket, too quick of a response he thought, but ignored it and continued sucking away at his cigarette. 

Mickey didn't look at his phone until they were on the train and Yev was contently reading through a book in his seat. He was disappointed to see that it was only Mandy asking when they'd arrive. He answered he and then reopened his texts with Ian to make sure it sent. 

It had. 

So of course, Mickey's mind ran wild with all the excuses as to why he wasn't answering. He was probably thinking Mickey was a huge fucking loser or something. The text was so dumb. Mickey cursed himself. He'd never done this before. He didn't _continue_ talking to hot guys. In the past it was all hi, fuck, bye. The end. He didn't keep in contact with people. 

Well okay he had when he was like a teenager and fucking people regularly. Er, being fucked regularly. Unless he was in juvie. Then it was Mickey in control...

He shook his head not wanting to think about all the fucking he'd done in the past. Nor did he want to think about those people or the places. It was all gross alleys and bathrooms. Or some bedroom where every fucking second was a second where they could be caught. 

He shook his head again and put his phone away. He tapped his fingers against his pack of cigarettes and readjusted how he was standing. He probably looked like some kind of jittery junkie who needed a fix. 

Thankfully there was time to smoke between switching trains. 

 

Mickey never felt comfortable in Lincoln Park. He felt like he stood out even though he was in a dress shirt, his tattoos were covered, he wasn't currently smoking, and he was hand in hand with a six year old. He always felt like people there would just _know_ he didn't belong there. Like he smelled southside or something. Or maybe it was because he wasn't the though thug he used to be. A few years ago he didn't give a fuck what people thought about him. But now, living a life that didn't consist of drug runs and robbing convenience stores, he'd grown used to trying to impress people and prove he was more than the trash he grew up believing he was. 

Mickey opened the gate and Yev went bounding up the steps of the narrow two story house. Mickey lifted Yev up so that he could ring the doorbell. Mickey felt his phone vibrate in his pocket the second that Mandy flung open the door. 

“Fuckin' finally,” she muttered gathering Yev up into a tight hug. Mickey missed the days where he felt like he could swear openly. Every since Yev started repeating him though he'd been overly conscious of it. Except when he was alone with Mandy. Then the banter emerged and he used every word in the book. 

She opened the door letting the into the foyer. Her house had a fucking foyer. 

“Hey Mickey. Hi Yev,” Danny, Mandy's boyfriend, called coming out of the living room. “We've got a ton of stuff grilled and ready to eat,” he added. 

“Yes!” Yev cheered. He'd told Mickey, numerous times, that he wanted all his food grilled after eating at Mandy's. “Is there chicken?” he asked following Danny leaving Mickey with Mandy in the foyer. She turned to him and he could feel the curiosity pouring out of her. 

“Don't,” he warned her, turning to go into the bathroom. 

“Don't jerk off in my bathroom!” she snapped. He reopened the door to flip her off. She laughed and he heard her footsteps leaving. 

After going to the bathroom and washing his hands, he put the seat down and sat on it and fished his phone out. This time it _was_ a text from Ian. Relief flooded through Mickey. 

'It'd look better on the floor.' the text read and Mickey choked spiraling into another intense coughing fit. This day was trying to kill him. Especially because what the FUCK was he supposed to say to that? Was this the beginning of sexting? He'd never done that shit and wasn't about to start in his sisters bathroom. 

'You know it would ; )' Mickey sent back. He was mortified, again, for the second time that day, the moment it showed up as delivered. He ended a fucking text with a winking face? Who was he? Had he lost his mind? 

Mickey stumbled out of the bathroom eager to escape before Ian could reply and laugh at him. 

 

Dinner was pleasant. Mickey felt his phone vibrate twice, but firmly ignored it and willed himself to be engaged while explaining his first day in great detail. 

Once that part of the conversation was over, Mandy jumped into asking Yev about the zoo. Every time he brought up Ian, Mandy made a point to smirk at Mickey. He resisted the urge to flip her off. 

While they ate, Mickey was once again, happy that his sister had found a good guy and gotten away from the shit they grew up with. Growing up, he'd always been so sure she'd get knocked up by some lowlife. But thankfully she ended up with an opportunity to work at a fancy schmancy bar and had found her way to Danny. They'd been together just over three years. 

And then Mickey's mind drifted to him wondering if he'd be with anyone that long. He somewhat doubted it because he didn't keep fuck buddies around that long in the past. He pulled out a cigarette, putting it between his lips, absently thinking about Ian holding out one of his large hands with those long fingers waiting for Mickey to pass the cigarette...

Mickey helped Mandy clean up while Danny went with Yev into the living room to watch Guardians of the Galaxy since apparently he was stuck on watching it after seeing Aubrey. But it was fine because Danny was a huge Marvel nerd. Mickey had made plenty of fun of Mandy for falling in love with a nerd. She turned it around by saying she couldn't hear him all the way on the south side. 

“So Ian~” Mandy said in a sing song voice as she loaded the dishwasher. Mickey rolled his eyes. They'd already had a three hour phone conversation post zoo trip. “Come on tell me if there have been _developments_ ,” she whispered. Mickey tried not to think about internet stalking Ian while at work or his unread texts. 

“I don't know. He came to say hi to me at work,” Mickey said hoping that would satisfy Mandy. 

But really, he knew it wouldn't. 

“That's it?” she asked. Mickey shrugged, his ears turning red remembering Ian's confession. “Tell me right. Now. Mickey Milkovich,” she demanded in a low tone. 

“Nothing,” Mickey mumbled. 

“Bullshit,” Mandy snapped. He sighed dramatically. 

“Ian told me he likes boys,” Mickey muttered. Mandy squealed nearly falling off the counter she was sitting on. 

“What did you say? Did you tell him you do too?” she asked excitedly.

“Yeah he knows,” Mickey groaned. He wanted to be done with the conversation. 

“So now what. Are you gonna fuck?” she asked. 

“Jesus fucking christ Mandy!” he sputtered. “No weren't aren't going to fuck.”

“But you want to,” Mandy said matter-o-factly. He let his shoulders sag. Fuck, he wanted more than that. Way more than that. But that thought was terrifying and he wasn't ready to screw things up with Ian because he was greedy and wanted more. “Do you want a relationship?” Mandy asked quietly. 

“I don't do relationships,” Mickey said automatically. Mandy groaned. 

“God get over it. Grow up and realize you are perfectly capable of having a fucking relationship.”

“I don't want to get attached and I don't want Yev to get attached and have it all go to hell,” Mickey admitted. It felt good to finally say it out loud. 

“You're already attached,” Mandy said making him sigh. “And it's not a bad thing,” she added. “And yeah it's fucking terrifying, but if you don't try you are going to be sad and alone and it'll fucking suck.”

“Thanks,” Mickey said sarcastically. 

“I'm serious shit head. You've grown up a lot. You aren't the little punk you like to pretend you are anymore. It's time to grow up and have an adult relationship. Not just a quick fuck in some seedy club,” she told him. He hated when Mandy was right. “Just try not to blow it with Ian because you're super insecure,” she said. He shoved her lightly. She smiled. “I'm serious. Don't be an asshole. Be open to it.”

“Yeah, yeah okay,” he said cutting her off before she got too sappy. She laughed sliding off the counter and went to the freezer calling out that it was time for dessert. 

 

Mickey placed a sleeping Yev in the booster seat in the back of Danny's car. Mickey insisted they didn't have to drive them back, but Mandy told him to shut the fuck up and get in the fucking car. 

The ride was silent, a faint whisper coming from the radio, and Mickey decided it was finally time to look at his phone. 

He regretted it immediately and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Ian's stupid text said 'Your pants too.'

Mickey texted back 'Am I the only one getting naked?' and then contemplated throwing his phone out the window. Mandy was watching him in the rear view mirror with a knowing gleam in her eye. Mickey wondered if he should just jump out of the moving car all together. 

His phone buzzed making him jump. Mandy stifled a laugh. 

'Depends... do you want to see me naked?' Ian had text. Yeah Mickey was 100% sure he had died and gone to some sort of hell masked as heaven. His pants felt too tight and his palms were sweating and he needed to get out of the fucking car and breathe and smoke and perhaps jump into the lake and swim across to Michigan. 

'Yes.' Mickey typed careful not to drool on his phone over the thought of Ian totally naked. Like he had obviously fantasized about it after spending all day on the beach with him. But like real life naked Ian?

'Mmkay. Then I'd make you get on your knees.' Ian texted him. Mickey desperately wanted to readjust his half hard cock, but Mandy was still watching him. This was so fucking awkward. Once again he was asking himself what he was fucking doing? And in the back of a fucking car? 

But Ian didn't even _ask_. He put Mickey on his knees where Mickey loved to be and he hadn't even had to say it. Ian just _knew_. Assumed the dominant position and that sent ripples of pleasure and excitement though him. 

He was starting to get really uncomfortable. 

'Yes.' was all Mickey could say in response hoping that Ian could understand how much he'd like that through one fucking word. 

They reached his apartment before Ian responded and, before taking Yev out of the car, Mickey strategically readjusted himself in his jeans. He hugged his sister goodbye and she whispered slut in his ear, but he ignored her. 

He went upstairs, mind buzzing, and woke Yev enough to go to the bathroom and brush his teeth. He tucked his son into bed, read Goodnight Moon, sang Sleigh Ride and What Child Is This, and listened to Yev talk about frogs while half asleep. He finished his story with disjointed sign language before letting sleep consume him. 

Mickey kissed Yev's forehead and placed his hearing aids on the night stand. He needed to get a lock box for them or something. Earlier they'd been found hanging from a shoelace Yev had tied to the window handle. 

He shut his sons door, went to the bathroom, and sat down on the couch with a beer and his phone. There was an unread message from Ian. 

'You'd love that, wouldn't you' the message said. Mickey groaned quietly picturing Ian saying the words to him.

'Fuck yes' Mickey replied. He squeezed himself through his pants. He was in too deep. They were fucking sexting like they were horny teenagers or something. Like this wasn't what adults did. At least Mickey was pretty sure they didn't. 

And what if Ian only wanted sex from him? He should be able to handle that, but deep down he knew he wanted more and – what was that quote from Goldmember? Something like once he had a taste of honey he'd want the whole beehive? – that whatever that was, and he didn't know why he was quoting Austin Powers, was that's how he felt things with Ian would be like. 

He chugged the beer completely confused by his recent train of though. It boiled down to he knew if they started a sex thing it would make him want more with Ian. Right now he could deny it, but he was opening up the can of whatever the fuck and it was going to fuck him. 

Mickey headed onto the balcony to smoke. He needed to clear his mind because his thoughts were bouncing around it and it exhausting. 

His phone went off half way through his cigarette. 'Those lips stretched around my cock' Ian's text said. 

And yeah Mickey was loving the honey. And so far the honey was only words on a screen. But he wanted to keep reading those words. He wanted more words. He wanted to actually _hear_ them coming out of Ian's mouth. 

'I'd love that' Mickey replied feeling a teeny tiny bit more confident. But that was probably because all his brain blood was rushing to his swelling dick. 

'I'm going to bed, but you better have sweet dreams about me fucking your mouth' the next text read. 

Mickey let out a sigh. He was kind of disappointed it was over already. He wanted Ian to say more dirty things to him. Although it was probably a good thing it didn't get too hot and heavy right away. He's pretty sure he'd go into full on panic mode if they did. 

Except he pretty much already panicked, but whatever. 

Mickey picked up the living room, before going to take a cold shower. He'd insist it was only cold because it was hot out and not because he felt like his entire body needed to calm down. Also wanking under the cold spray was nice because he didn't have to feel flushed and overheated as he thought about Ian fucking his mouth. 

 

After his shower he felt a lot better, a lot calmer and relaxed. He fixed Yevgeny's lunch. Earlier Yev had made a list of what he wanted to eat on his first day. He put Yev's lunchbox in the fridge after preparing it. He then made sure to empty Yev's backpack from their activities that day and put his school supplies inside. The kid needed more school supplies then Mickey ever did. 

Then he had a moment of sadness. How was Yev already in first grade? He thought back to the times after the dark times, when Yev was just turning three and everything was new and exciting. Looking back, it was hard for him to admit there was a time where he wanted nothing to do with Yev. Which made him thankful for Mandy. He wouldn't be where he was without her. 

He shook his head. He didn't want to fucking cry over his son going to school in the kitchen like a loser. So he went to his room and climbed into bed. Before shutting off the lights, he opened his phone to his favorite picture of Ian and sighed. 

He was so fucking fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I had to bump the rating up a bit, but I want to know, would people prefer the fic to stay on the milder end of M rated, like it is now, or have there be actual sex and smut and filth when it comes time? 
> 
> Also, feel free to say hi >>> lexatargaryen.tumblr.com
> 
> P.S. Sorry if Mickey's train of thought got really confusing at the end.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter than usual, but I have been busy with other fics. Hope everyone enjoys!

The rest of the week was rather uneventful compared to Monday night. Mickey wasn't sure if he was disappointed or relieved. 

Even still, Ian showed up every day at the tech office to say hi. He caught on fast to the fact that Cara was spying on them. Mickey tried unsuccessfully to get rid of her. Ian laughed and said it reminded him of his sisters. 

They texted each other when they could. Ian mostly talked about his lesson plans and books Mickey never read. Some of them he hadn't even heard of. 

Mickey told him about useless old teachers who held the remote backwards or couldn't find the clearly labeled on button. 

Ian sent Mickey songs to listen to. Songs he liked or songs he listened to while studying. In return, Mickey sent pictures of Yev dancing to them. 

Ian asked how school was for Yev and Mickey explained that Yev woke up too early because he was excited to go back. He loved Aubrey. He liked his teacher. He loved the science room. He was slowly making friends. All good things that made Mickey relieved. 

Mickey got updates from Aubrey daily. Yev wasn't talking yet, but he was engaging with other students. He signed questions and comments to Aubrey and she'd translate. He was the fastest runner in the first grade. Simple things that Yev would forget to tell him when he came home running his mouth because he hadn't spoken in the last six hours. 

And of course he had Mandy constantly harping on him like he was her favorite TV show. She wanted daily updates on his relationship with Ian. Which meant he basically sent her the same text every day saying 'just friends'. He could practically hear the groaning in her replies. 

 

Saturday was relaxed. It was raining so Mickey took Yev to the library. He was thrilled to dig his rain boots and umbrella out of the closet. While they were walking Mickey received a picture of Ian post work out. 

He wanted to cry. It was so unfair that a person could be that attractive. It was even more unfair that he couldn't do anything about it... _wouldn't_. Wouldn't because he didn't do relationships. It was practically a mantra in his head. No relationships. No relationships not even casual sex ones. 

“Daddy?” Yev asked jumping in puddles while they crossed the street. 

“Yeah?” Mickey asked as Yev continued pulling on his arm with each jump. Part of him couldn't wait for the day when Yev could cross the street himself, but the other part of him was nowhere near ready to let Yev go.

“Can we get science books?” he asked. Mickey groaned inwardly. Science had been his absolute worst subject. Cells and plants and the ecosystem? No thanks. 

“What kind of science?” Mickey asked. 

“Science,” Yev said with a shrug. 

“Turn around and walk forward,” Mickey told him. “And yeah we will find science books.” 

Yev grinned and turned around skipping happily. 

 

Mickey had a very strict rule about how many books Yev could pick out. Every time they got into a very fevered sign argument, but Mickey stuck to his rule. 10 books. They could always get more, the books weren't going anywhere. 

Before they went to find science books, Mickey followed Yev through the Children Section. He wanted Yevgeny to pick out some of the books his teacher had recommended for Yev's reading level. He was preoccupied by books about Lego something though. So Mickey followed Yev around while he looked over the books, picking out a few, before letting Mickey direct him to chapter books. 

Mickey really wanted to pull out his phone and look at the picture Ian sent. He was sure he could easily stare at it for hours. Ian all flushed and sweaty in just a pair of shorts sitting low on his hips...

He was in a goddamn library though. 

So he let his mind wander to finding a secluded space in the library maybe among some old books, and Ian would bend Mickey over and undo his belt and – 

Yev pulled on Mickey's shirt to get his attention. 'I want to go find science books now' he signed handing Mickey the chapter book he picked out. Mickey nodded letting thoughts of Ian leave his mind before something like getting a boner in a library happened. The thought made his ears burn. 

They found science books and Yev picked out one called Gross Science Facts. He was excited and Mickey scrunched his nose. 'Okay' Mickey said as he signed. Yev skipped to the check out. 

 

The rain had stopped, but the clouds hung low in the sky. He hoped the weather cleared for the barbeque tomorrow. He and Yev were being picked up by Fiona and her husband. Mickey was trying not to stress over how awkward he was going to feel because he was coming with Ian but he wasn't _with_ Ian. Ian didn't seem phased by it at all. Instead, he only talked about how he was glad Mickey would be there. 

But it brought Mickey no comfort. He was going to meet Ian's whole fucking family! And yeah Ian had met Mandy, but she was one person. Ian had like eighteen brothers and sisters. Not to mention some would be there with their significant other... Mickey lit up. He was stressed, but not to the point of not wanting to go. 

He guessed it helped that Yev was so pumped to go. In his class they talked about something fun they'd done over summer break and Aubrey had told Mickey that Yev had talked about going to the zoo with his friends Elise, Ethan, Fiona, and Ian. When Mickey asked him about it later, Yev said they were his favorite people besides him and Mandy. Granted, there weren't many other people in Yev's life, but it still made Mickey smile. 

Ian thought it was cute too. 

“Can we watch Mulan when we get home?” Yev asked picking up a worm. 

“Yev stop,” Mickey complained. It wasn't long ago that Yev was picking up worms and curiously putting them in his mouth. “And yes we can,” Mickey added. Yev dropped the worm in the grass.

“Do you think Ian likes Mulan?” Yev asked taking Mickey's hand. Mickey shrugged. “Can you ask?” Yev insisted. 

“No I'm not going to ask,” Mickey said. Yev groaned. 

“Why are you so difficult?” he complained pulling on Mickey's arm. Mickey laughed. 

“It's my job Yev,” he said making the kid groan again. 

 

Mickey curled up with Yev on the couch and Mulan on the screen. Yev carefully placed himself so that he and Nemo were taking up most of the couch leaving Mickey trapped in the corner. He didn't mind though and Mulan was one of few movies Mickey didn't mind seeing for the billionth time. Sure the Lego Movie was great, but if he had to hear Everything Is Awesome one more time he was sure he'd jump off the balcony. 

About halfway through the movie, just after A Girl Worth Fighting For, Mickey's phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out surprised it was Fiona. Her text asked if he'd heard from Ian that day. 

Mickey sent her a quick yes before opening messages to Ian and texting him. 

'Hey your sister just texted me. Is everything okay?' Mickey typed out. He stared at the text realizing Fiona hadn't said there was something necessarily _wrong_ he'd just interpreted it that way and assumed and now Ian was probably going to think he was weird. 

Fiona answered first. 'Okay thanks' was all she said. Mickey wanted to ask why. He _really_ wanted to ask why, but he didn't want to see pushy. Or like he was trying to get into her business. Or whatever. 

Mickey sighed. 

But Ian still hadn't answered and while that by no means meant there was something wrong, his mind was in overdrive and he was worried. 

But if there was something wrong Fiona would be more worried. Right? 

He got up and went to the balcony to smoke. It had gotten really muggy since they'd gotten home from the library. His shirt was already sticking to his back and the air felt heavy. There were probably going to be thunderstorms. Which luckily didn't bother Yev much except he didn't like lightening. 

Mickey stared at his phone willing his questions to be answered without him having to ask. The only other time Fiona had texted him was to confirm pick up time. 

By the time he finished his cigarette his curiosity got the better of him and he texted Fiona again. 'Is something wrong?' he asked. He regretted it the moment he sent it. This was why he didn't get involved with people, he told himself. 

Of course, if he sad that to Mandy she'd call him a paranoid idiot. But he didn't want to sit around worried about other people. It made him feel helpless. Which pissed him off because he didn't have feelings like that until he took over as Yev's parent. And then he was up until all hours looking up if babies could die from getting shampoo in their eyes. 

Relief flooded him when Fiona answered. 'He wasn't answering his phone and I was trying to get a hold of him. It's all good now,” her text read. Mickey sighed. Worry for no reason. Just like every incident with Yev. 

He lit another cigarette moving to stand against the sliding door when the rain started again. His phone buzzed again. This time it was Ian. 

'Took a nap and Fiona thought I was avoiding her lol She worries too much.' Mickey smiled when he read the text. He was too busy looking for a problem or a flaw. He really needed to stop. 

'A nap sounds great,' Mickey replied feeling at ease when he saw Ian typing. 

'I had a great nap,' Ian replied. 

'What are you doing now?' Mickey texted. 

'Doctors appointment,' Ian said. Mickey paused. Logically, doctors appointment meant anything. But all Mickey could think about was the two year gap in Ian's schooling. Fiona had probably wanted to talk to him to remind him to go. What if it was cancer? What if he had cancer and it had come back and Ian didn't want to get treatment? What if he was dying and Mickey was getting attached?

He sucked away at his cigarette trying to figure out what to say. There was no way he was going to ask what kind of doctor. With his luck Ian would tell him it was the kind that shoved their finger up your ass to check your prostate. And then he'd have to awkwardly text haha. 

But they hadn't known each other long, so they weren't at a place in their friendship where the could tell each other that they had cancer. Mickey wasn't one to open up about his ex-wife, so why anyone would immediately open up about the darkness in their life he didn't know. So it could be cancer, but he wouldn't know. 

'Hope you aren't dying,' Mickey texted feeling dumb the moment it sent because for all he knew Ian was dying and he sounded like a dick. 

The seconds passed slowly and Mickey was at the end of his second cigarette. He felt better, but not as calm as he'd like. Like he jumped when his phone buzzed.

'No not dying haha,' Ian said. Whether or not it was actually the truth, Mickey was grateful to read those words. 'I'll text you after,' the second text read. 

Mickey went inside feeling better. He found that Yev had completely knocked out, so he covered him with a blanket and turned the movie off. 

He didn't know what he was supposed to do. He wasn't used to having free weekends. And with Yev asleep and Ian busy, Mickey had no one to talk to. He considered texting Mandy or calling her, but he wasn't in the mood to deal with her. He'd probably end up confessing his cancer theory and he did not want to do that. 

So he wandered around the apartment. He started laundry, put Yev's toys away the best he could, he unloaded the dishwasher. He wasn't in the mood to go as far as like clean the bathroom or something. Mickey ended up in his room picking a book off his shelf. He wasn't one to read, but he had a small collection of non-fiction thanks to Mandy and partially to Yev who wanted all the ocean books. 

The book was a history on the Tank. He'd read through it twice before, but still found it interesting. Mickey lay on his bed and opened the book. He stared at the pages, but found his mind wandering to Ian. He probably looked good in a uniform. He was built for it. 

Mickey smiled to himself. He _really_ liked the idea of Ian in a uniform. Not that he'd ever tell him that, but the thought was nice. And Ian in a uniform ordering Mickey around. Telling him to get on his knees. Bending him over. Pounding into him...

 

Mickey woke abruptly when Yev sat on his chest. He rubbed his eyes confused. 'I'm hungry' Yev signed. Mickey looked at the clock to see he'd been asleep for nearly two hours. 

“Did you just get up?” Mickey asked. Yev wasn't listening. He reached up and turned his sons head. 'Where are your hearing aids?' he signed. Yev shrugged picking up Mickey's book. Mickey tapped his leg so he'd look at him. 'Find them. I'll make you a snack,' he signed. 

Yev sighed and slid off the bed and tore off into the living room. Mickey sat up and stretched. He couldn't believe he'd actually taken a fucking nap. He checked his phone and, as he expected, there was a text from Ian. He smiled to himself opening it. 

'I can't wait to see you tomorrow,' it read. Mickey stared at it. Ian had actually expressed that he was glad he was going to see Mickey again and that he _couldn't wait_ . He couldn't fucking wait. 

Mickey continued staring at the message. 

“Dad!” Yev barked from the living room making Mickey jump. He hoped Yev was going to say he'd found his hearing aids. Chances were he'd only found one though. 

“What?” Mickey called leaving his room to go into the living room. All the couch cushions were on the floor. He rolled his eyes and folded his arms. Yev was trying to do a handstand in the corner of the couch. “Yev you have to put the cushions back,” Mickey told him. He didn't appear to be listening. 

“Where's my snack?” he asked still trying to do a handstand. Mickey went over pushing his feet down. “Hey!” Yev protested. 

“Did you find your hearing aids?” Mickey asked as Yev jumped onto the pile of cushions. 

“Ye-es!” he groaned spreading out like a starfish. 

“Okay. Pick up and I'll get you a snack,” Mickey said. Yev rolled his eyes and reluctantly started throwing the cushions onto the couch. Mickey shook his head, but went into the kitchen. He got the peanut butter out and peeled and cut an apple for Yev to eat. He came over and took his food happily and turned on the TV. “I said fix the couch,” Mickey said again as he headed onto the balcony for a cigarette. 

He lit up. The rain had stopped again and it was more humid then ever, but Mickey didn't mind. He pulled out his phone and texted Ian back. 

'I can't wait to see you either.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is as excited as me for the next chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I love all of you and your lovely comments, I worked hard to get this chapter done. Along with the zoo chapter, this has been my favorite chapter so far. Enjoy!

Mickey was doing his best to not actively pace around the apartment. Yev was content drawing at the counter. But Mickey was a wreck waiting for them to be picked up. All their stuff was together; Yev's swim suit and towel, extra clothes because it was Yev, his booster seat, two bottles of vodka because that's what Fiona said to bring, snacks in case Yev was hungry in the car, and a handful of action figures Yev had _insisted_ they bring. They were also packed because Yev refused to reveal where his hearing aids had run off to unless Thor, Ironman, and Starlord were packed. But that had turned into a ton of questions about why there wasn't more Hawkeye stuff which Mickey had no answers to, but Yev demanded to know. So Mickey had told him because he was a regular guy. Which _then_ led to _why_ did he get picked to be an Avenger and if a regular guy could be an Avenger did that mean that he, Yev, could be an Avenger. 

Mickey had left him in his room at that point. He was done. He told Yev to call Disney or Marvel or Stan Lee and file a complaint. 

But now they were waiting for their ride and Mickey had already smoked twice and he was on edge after having a dream about cancer trying to attack him and it was a mess. He'd woken with a start and decided, while having a middle of the night smoke, that if it felt natural he would ask. He wasn't going to blurt anything out, but he needed to know that it wasn't cancer. 

Mickey's phone vibrated on the counter. It was time to go. Ian had texted and asked if he needed a hand, and while he wanted to make an innuendo, he was not about to sext Ian in a car full of kids and Ian's sister. 

Ian knocked and Yev nearly ripped the door off with excitement. “IAN!” he yelled hugging him hello. Mickey smiled. 

“He's been waiting,” Mickey said with a shrug. 

“Yeah and drawing the Avengers. Well Hawkeye because there isn't enough Hawkeye,” Yev said matter of factly. Ian nodded. Mickey groaned picking up their stuff. 

“He's been going on and on about this all morning,” Mickey said pulling the door shut behind them. 

“I agree with Yev,” Ian laughed. “Not enough Hawkeye or Black Widow.”

“She's named after a poison spider,” Yev said pushing the button for the elevator. 

“She is,” Ian confirmed. 

 

Fiona was standing against her van smoking and talking to a guy that had to be a descendant of a fucking Viking. Mickey felt short in general, something he would never actually admit though, next to Ian he felt shorter, but this guy? It was like standing next to the fucking Sears, not Willis, Tower. 

She smiled and nodded toward the guy. “This is Edward Dawson, my husband,” Fiona introduced. Mickey shook his massive hand. He had to be pushing 6'7 or something. 

“Hey,” he said. “And is this Yev?” he asked. Yev hid behind Mickey who was waiting for Ian to finish putting Yev's booster seat in the back. 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEV!” Elise shrieked from the back. 

“I said it's too early for that!” Fiona snapped. Her husband laughed. Mickey was pretty sure his laugh caused an earthquake. 

“Okay we're all set,” Ian said clambering out of the van. He helped Yev into the car while Fiona put Mickey's stuff in the trunk. They piled into the car, Mickey was in a bucket seat in the middle with Ian. 

“Put on the music mom!” Elise demanded. 

“We're on a Hairspray kick,” Edward told Mickey. He nodded and turned to Yev. 

“Remember Hairspray?” he asked. Mickey watched it when Yev chose it off Mandy's shelf. She laughed at Mickey for hours because he _kind of_ enjoyed it. 

'With the dancing?' Yev signed. Mickey nodded. 

“And Link,” Mickey added. Yev smiled and nodded. After seeing the movie he asked Mickey why people didn't dance that way more often. Mandy said she wished they did. Mickey had shrugged because even if they did, he would NOT be dancing. Yev got good at imitating the dancing though after watching one of the songs for a week on youtube. 

The music started and Mickey vaguely recalled the song. Ian was humming along though while Elise sang behind them. 

Mickey felt his anxiety begin to fade. Everything was fine, Ian looked healthy, Yev was smiling, and Hulk seemed nice. No one made it weird that Mickey was kind of coming as Ian's date without being Ian's date. God if it were a date... He felt his ears burn and what made it worse was he _knew_ Ian was looking at him. 

 

Lip's house was basically a mansion. The front yard was huge and lead up to a two story brick house that oozed wealth. The front door flew open when they parked and a slew of people came pouring out shouting their names. Mickey awkwardly hung back with Yev while hugs and hellos were exchanged. 

He recognized Debbie since he'd been a victim of forced facebook stalking. The gorgeous woman holding Ian's niece Laila, was, he assumed, Lip's girlfriend. She was tall, slender but obviously very pregnant, with shiny blue-black hair and warm, glowing skin. She had to have stepped out of a fucking model magazine or something. 

The guy that walked up to Mickey first had buzzed hair and stood very casually and nodded to him. “Nice tats,” he said and held up his fingers. His knuckles said SLAY PUSS. For once in his life Mickey was glad his tattoos weren't that bad. 

“This is my delinquent brother Carl,” Ian laughed wrapping an arm around Carl's shoulders. Carl looked proud of his title as delinquent. “And this is my brother Liam,” Ian said pulling the kid out from behind him. He stared at Mickey's feet. Ian kissed the top of Liam's head and squeezed his shoulder. 

“Introduce me Ian,” the red headed girl, Debbie, said to Ian. He smiled. 

“My little sister Debbie. And guys this is Mickey's son Yev,” Ian said. Debbie held out her hand to shake. Mickey shook. 

“Yev's kind of shy,” he said feeling Yev's hands tighten where they were holding the hem of Mickey's shirt. 

“Well we are a lot of people,” Debbie laughed. She crouched down addressing Yev. “Are you going to go swimming in the pool with us?” she asked. Yev nodded. 

“She's been babysitting kids since she could walk,” Ian explained. “He's in good hands.”

“And is this Ian's friend Mickey?” the woman who Mickey assumed was Lip's girlfriend asked. “I'm Nina and this is Laila,” she said. “And is this little Yvegeny?” she asked. She had a very faded accent.

“Yeah, yeah, he likes Yev though,” Mickey said to her. She murmured something to Laila in what Mickey was pretty sure was Spanish. 

“Lip! Get over here and say hello!” Nina shouted. Ian's older brother jogged over. 

“Yeah hey, Lip,” he said offering his hand to shake. Mickey did. 

“Hey,” he echoed. 

“Let's all move this party to the back!” Lip announced to the small crowd. There were some cheers and people went rushing inside. Ian hung back with Mickey. 

“I know, it's a lot of people,” he said with an apologetic smile. Mickey shrugged to mask how overwhelming it was. So many people. And people who were friendly to him and his son? 

“It's okay,” Mickey said weakly. Ian laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. 

“We'll get through it together,” he told Mickey. Before Mickey could answer Ian was taking Yev's hand and telling Mickey they were going to get ready to swim in Lip's pool. 

 

Mickey definitely relaxed when he finally got some alcohol in his system. He was sitting in a chair on the side of the pool watching Yev swim around with Fiona's kids and Debbie. He was teaching them more sign. Elise proudly showed that she remembered tiger. Fiona had laughed and told Mickey that Elise taught it to her second grade class on the first day. Mickey really liked Elise and told Fiona he wished more kids were like her. 

Yev was elated to see that Nina and Laila knew what Nina called baby sign language. In return, Nina was telling Yev words in Spanish and spelling them out for him. Mickey watched them all in the pool floating with inner tubes, Laila in her floaty seat, Nina looking like a model even while pregnant, and then he looked down at Ian who was lounging against the side of the pool right under where Mickey sat. He had his arms hooked over the sides and Mickey had to refrain from drooling over those shoulders. 

Those beautiful broad shoulders...

Ian looked up at Mickey. “One day you've got to get into the water,” Ian said to him. He laughed and took a sip of his drink. 

“Can't swim,” he found himself admitting. Ian looked surprised. 

“Really?” he asked. Mickey shrugged. He didn't go around admitting stuff like that. Not even Yev knew that he couldn't swim. He could float, but he couldn't go anywhere. 

“Can I teach you?” Ian asked. Mickey raised his eyebrows. 

“Now? Fuck no,” he said laughing again. Ian's family did _not_ need to see that. Ian smiled. 

“I meant some other time stupid,” Ian said. Mickey shrugged again, but he smiled. Getting all intimate in the water? Shirtless? Mickey almost wanted to mention that he didn't have a swim suit and hoped skinny dipping would be acceptable. But he controlled himself. 

He was starting to wonder how much alcohol Lip had dumped into their drinks. It was his second, but he was already feeling buzzed. That was probably not good. Like really not fucking good and he should fucking stop – but he didn't. He kept drinking and pulled out a cigarette to smoke while he lounged by the fancy pool in a neighborhood he would have visited in the past only to rob. 

 

Lip had the grill going with Edward. Fiona was inside with Nina. Carl was floating in the pool smoking weed. Mickey stood with Ian, both of the with beer in hand. They were watching Yev, Elise, Debbie, and Liam play soccer. Girls against boys. Yev was having a blast with all of them. 

Ian sat on the ground patting the space next to him. Mickey sat. 

“Een, bubbles,” Laila said handing bubbles to Ian. Ethan sat next to Mickey with all Yev's guys in his arms. He sat them all in front of him and looked at Ian and Mickey waiting for the bubbles. Laila handed another bottle to Mickey. 

Ian opened them and blew bubbles at Laila who giggled delightedly. Soon her and Ethan were up chasing the bubbles around trying to pop them. Mickey joined Ian. Yev loved bubbles when he was tiny. He'd toddle up to Mickey and demand bubas. The memory made Mickey smile. 

And it was nice to be relaxed in the yard with Ian. Even with all the kids and the siblings, Mickey felt good. Sure the alcohol helped, but he was surprised at how at ease he was. He and Ian didn't even need to be talking for it to feel nice. Just sitting with him and blowing bubbles was enough. 

 

Early dinner was steaks and burgers for the kids. There were also roasted vegetables, potato salad, Spanish rice, potato chips, and pickles. Mickey fixed a plate for Yev, before serving himself. Yev sat happily with Elise and Ethan at a kids picnic table in the yard. Liam dragged a chair over to them as well. Mickey was glad to see Yev using his words although he didn't want to draw attention to it and make him shy. 

The adults and teens, sat at the gorgeous wooden table Lip and Nina had on their patio. Nina had made sangria, which Mickey said he'd taste after Ian sang Santeria to him. He sent a picture of it to Mandy to piss her off. 

The food was delicious. Way more delicious than anything Mickey had eaten anywhere ever. Or at least close. 

The conversation revolved around Debbie talking about how she was all packed for move-in at ISU at the end of the week. Fiona and Lip were taking her down there. Ian wanted to go, but he couldn't miss his student teaching. 

“You work at UIC right?” Nina asked Mickey. 

“Yeah,” he said with a nod. He knew what Nina and Lip did. His job paled in comparison. 

“Edward works at Columbia down town,” she said pointing over at Edward. 

“Guilty,” he said with a laugh. “But I'm the lame one teaching art history.”

“He's also a nude model,” Carl added. Fiona rolled her eyes. 

“I help the art department when I can,” he said with a shrug. 

“Is UIC how you met Ian?” Nina asked. 

“Yeah wasn't Ian with the gremlins?” Lip added. 

“Uh yeah I was at the park with Yev,” Mickey said feeling weird to be in the spotlight. “And he was there with Elise and Ethan.”

Nina nodded turning her attention to Ian. “You were still able to get him with those monsters?” she laughed raising an eyebrow. 

“Only one is a monster,” Ian laughed playing off her comment while Mickey itched for a cigarette.

“I'm sitting right here!” Fiona said. They laughed. 

“I think it's sweet,” Debbie said. There were nods in agreement. Mickey really wanted that fucking cigarette. 

“When's the baby due?” Ian asked as if sensing Mickey's discomfort. He sent Ian a silent thank you. 

“I'll be full term in a little under three weeks. I'm hoping to squeeze in a bit more work before I pop,” Nina laughed leaning against Lip. “We are doing a home birth this time. I'm excited,” she added. 

To Mickey that sounded like the single most terrifying thing in the world. 

“How was Yev born?” she asked. Mickey blinked at her. 

“Uh hospital,” he said hoping that was the end of the conversation because he didn't want to awkwardly begin lying about it. Nina nodded and began asking Fiona questions about her birth. Mickey took a few deep breaths. He felt Ian's hand on his shoulder. He turned to look at him and Ian's eyes showed concern. “I uh need a cigarette,” Mickey said excusing himself from the table. Lip said it was fine, but he said he was not smoking next to a pregnant lady. 

Ian got up and followed Mickey to the side of the house. Mickey lit his cigarette in record time and took a few slow drags before Ian spoke. 

“You okay?” he asked softly. Mickey didn't know. It ventured into skeletons in his closet shit and he didn't know if he was ready to open up about all of it. So Mickey shrugged. He ran his hand through his hair. It was shit he was never going to tell Yev either, but the way Ian looked at him. Like he was _worried_ about Mickey. That look made the words spill out of his mouth. “I wasn't there when he was born.”

Ian nodded. Mickey took a long drag. “Because you couldn't or didn't want to be?” Ian asked. Mickey couldn't look at him. He hated himself for the answer. But even if he could go back he wouldn't go there. It hurt too much. 

“Didn't want to be,” Mickey said miserably. The words tasted like vomit. They tasted like the darkness that had consumed his life back them. They tasted like drugs and alcohol, whatever he could take to take the pain away. To make the darkness go away. To erase those moments of his life. 

“Oh,” Ian said softly. Mickey could feel Ian's eyes on him, but he was too disgusted with himself and his past to look at Ian. Instead he fixated on a rock on the ground. 

Part of him wanted to let the entire story come flooding out. The horror, the darkness, the hate... but he was at a fucking BBQ and it was supposed to be fun. It was fun. And he was ruining it. He was standing there with Ian and he _wanted_ to say everything, but he couldn't. The words turned to ash in his mouth. 

“You don't have to tell me about it right now,” Ian added breaking the silence. He reached out rubbing Mickey's arm. Mickey looked at him. The relief he felt in Ian's words. No demanding or confusion. It was like he understood the skeletons in the closet...

“Do you have cancer?” Mickey blurted out. He mentally chastised himself, but he had to know before it ate away at him. Ian gave him a confused look. 

“No? Why?” he asked. 

“You're sure?” Mickey asked hoping Ian was being honest with him.

“Yeah I'm 100% sure I don't have cancer,” Ian laughed. “Why?”

Mickey stared at the ground again. 

“Because Fiona and the doctor?” Ian pieced together. Mickey nodded dumbly. Ian sighed and held out his hand for Mickey's cigarette. He passed it. He watched Ian take a long drag and run his hand through his hair. “I've wanted to bring this up because I felt like... I wanted to tell you, but I never knew how,” Ian said laughing sadly. “I'm bipolar,” he said. Mickey blinked. 

“That's a mood thing right? Like it can't make up it's mind?” he asked. People always referred to the weather as bipolar. Ian shrugged. 

“Kind of not really. It's high highs and low lows. Like sometimes I'd have all this energy and all these ideas and start projects and go running at 3 AM and fuck some random guy in the alley and then it would do a 180 and I would lay in bed for days not moving or eating. No energy or anything. I just wanted to lay there alone and disappear,” Ian explained. Mickey had a hard time believing it based on how Ian acted. But the expression on his face told Mickey that it was all true. 

“Is it... still like that?” Mickey asked. Ian shook his head. 

“I have my days but I got to therapy every week with Fiona, which is what I was doing yesterday, and see the psychiatrist once a month to go over all my medication. I've been pretty balanced though for nearly a year. The last time things were really bad was about two years ago,” Ian explained. Mickey nodded. That explained the two year gap in his schooling. 

“I'm sorry,” Mickey said unsure of what else to say. Ian shrugged handing the cigarette back. 

“I just constantly tell myself that I'm doing everything I can to be the best I can be,” he said to Mickey with a small smile. Mickey smiled too flicking the cigarette butt into the grass. 

“Yeah I guess we all can't live life without there being some dirty laundry,” Mickey said. The moment the words left his mouth he rolled his eyes. What the fuck was that? His attempt at being smooth?

But Ian laughed wrapping an arm around Mickey's shoulders and hugging him close and pressing his lips to Mickey's temple. Mickey was certain he passed out for a minute before regaining consciousness. “That's why I like you, Mickey,” Ian was saying. “I could get all sappy –“

“Please don't,” Mickey said automatically. Ian laughed, still holding Mickey. 

“I feel like I can be me and you are you,” he said simply. Mickey nodded. 

“Yeah. I guess I feel the same?” Mickey said looking at him. Ian looked relieved and smiled big. Mickey smiled too. Because there was so much truth in the words. He didn't have to hide that he had a kid or that he worked his ass off to get his job or that Yev was a goof. Mickey spent hours discussing nonsense with Ian and it was just... easy. It was easy with Ian. Not like easy, easy, hell no he had to work his ass off to keep it cool, but easy in the sense that Ian didn't make his life stressful. 

Okay no that was a lie because Mickey was currently stressed. He didn't know what happened next. He didn't know what he said next. Habit screamed for him to say he didn't do relationships, but that ship had sailed and it sailed without him. 

Things were in motion and he was actually on the verge of freaking out because what the fuck. 

But Ian laughed snapping him out of his thoughts. “Come on, I think they brought out the ice cream for rootbeer floats,” Ian said. Mickey groaned. 

“Yev thinks he's so cool when he gets rootbeer,” Mickey sighed. "He likes the idea of it being real beer." He son got fucking cocky and thought he was hot shit when ever he was given rootbeer in a bottle. Ian laughed again and they walked back into the main part of the yard. 

 

Goodbyes were hard. The kids didn't want to leave. Ian spent an extra long time hugging Debbie since he wouldn't see her for awhile. Before they left, Mickey learned that Debbie and Carl actually lived in Bridgeport with Fiona and Edward. Ian also quietly explained that once Fiona got married, she said goodbye to the run-down south side home they'd grown up in. While it was weird, Ian said it was good riddance. Especially since not long after their father was hunted down for fraud and a bunch of other side. 

Debbie had driven with Carl. She hated driving him everywhere because his license was already suspended. 

The kids fell asleep on the ride home and Mickey felt that relaxed feeling he'd felt when they were leaving the zoo. Like everything was right and he was in the right place and doing the right things. It was nice to feel like he was finally making the right choices with his life. 

And with Ian. 

 

Fiona pulled up to his apartment and he carried Yev while Ian brought their stuff up. “Mickey?” he asked when they were in the front door. 

“Hmm?” he asked turning lights on in the house. 

“I want you to come over next weekend,” Ian said. Mickey turned hiking Yev up on his hip. “Yev too,” Ian added. “But I... I want to spend time with you Mickey,” he said with a grin. Mickey felt his face heat up. 

“I don't... I... dates?” Mickey's words were failing him. “I don't do sappy and I don't do dates, Gallagher,” Mickey grumbled. Ian stepped forward closing the space between him and Mickey. Mickey felt his lungs go tight and his heart pound in his chest. 

He didn't do dates? Right? Like that was a rule he had? Maybe? He couldn't fucking remember with Ian standing so damn close! 

“Just say you'll come over,” Ian said in a low voice and thank _god_ Mickey was holding Yev or else he would have jumped Ian then and there. 

“Yeah,” Mickey said his voice cracking like he was some kind of fucking tween. He cleared his throat. “Yeah,” he said again daring to look up at Ian. Ian was smiling. Even his fucking eyes were smiling. Mickey's ears burned more. 

“Goodnight Mickey,” he whispered. God how Mickey wanted to kiss him. 

“Goodnight,” Mickey whispered back. Ian stood there for a moment longer and then turned to go. 

And yeah, things were definitely in motion and Mickey was on the brink of a full blown freak out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are reading this message I have gone to bed without completely editing this chapter and apologize for mistakes.

The week was long. Too long. Five days was an eternity of piles of work and short visits that left Mickey wanting more. Those few minutes he spent talking to Ian in person were the minutes he looked forward to most at work. Sometimes it was five and sometimes it was twenty. Neither was enough though. Every time he left Mickey's brain screamed not yet. 

Not that he'd ever say that out loud though because he was fucking Mickey Milkovich and Ian had important student things to do. Not to mention Mickey refused to believe the words don't go would ever leave his mouth. Ever. Period. 

But fuck it was harder not to say it each time. And since he was working it wasn't like he could pace and smoke while mulling over unsaid words. 

Their habits regarding texting had somewhat become routine though. They shared music and movie recommendations daily. Mickey had started saving a playlist of all the songs Ian had sent him. Mickey told Ian about his day at work. He told Ian about Yev's day at school. Sometimes Mickey even let Yev convince him to tell Ian about the books he was reading to Yev or asking questions regarding Ian's opinion on Transformers. 

Each text he sent, Mickey felt a little more comfortable, but that could also be because they weren't discussing things like what were they. Things Mandy and now fucking Cara wanted to know. Mickey had caved and called Mandy on Wednesday to tell her he was going to Ian's Sunday night with Yev. 

She was so excited she almost fell down the stairs in her house. 

He'd already called and told her the whole BBQ story and about how Ian was bipolar. He left out that it started with details of his past that he wasn't ready to revisit. Mandy didn't seem to think much of Ian being bipolar since Mickey told her that Ian was managing it. She warned him though. Told him that he _had_ to tell Fiona if something seemed off. And not just off because Mickey was paranoid. 

Mandy told him that sometimes with mental disorders sometimes people start feeling so great that they think they are fixed and stop taking medication they need or going to therapy. She said it sounded like Ian was in a good routine, but Mickey shouldn't go in thinking he was fixed or anything. She reminded him that he wasn't completely fixed either even though he refused to admit he was ever broken...

Mickey didn't want to talk about the past though. He promised Mandy he'd take note of anything weird and discuss it with Ian. She told him they had to trust each other and Mickey found it strange that he did trust Ian. Completely. Sure he couldn't find the words to talk about the past, but he wasn't actively not telling him. He trusted Ian and he trusted Ian with Yev.

Maybe not in like a relationship setting, but that was more of a comment on Mickey rather than Ian. Mickey just... he kept telling himself he didn't do relationships even though he was doing everything he could to get to that point. 

Which caused hours of pacing his room and talking to himself on how it was okay. It was okay to be scared. It was fucking okay. Relationships were fucking okay goddamnit!

But each night he ended up in bed worn out from being at war with himself. 

So he called Mandy on Wednesday and told her how he was going to Ian's apartment with Yev for dinner and how it was kind of a half sleepover because Ian convinced Mickey to stay late since Monday was Labor Day. And he said he had no problem having Yev fall asleep in his bed. 

That was when Mandy almost fell down the stairs. 

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!! Okay fuck it's a date Mickey come on._

“Are you okay?” Mickey asked. He was on his lunch break and trying to decide if he wanted to venture out into the heat for another cigarette. He was kind of enjoying the cold of the lounge. Especially because it was deserted. 

_I'm fine. Stop making this about me and admit it!_

She was so demanding and it made Mickey roll his eyes. “Not a date. We are just hanging out and having pizza.”

_Date._

“Not a fucking date,” Mickey hissed into his phone. He heard Mandy sigh. 

_Is there like I don't know, a part of you that wants it to be a date?_

Mickey completely froze up. Of course he wanted that, but he denied himself that thought and now she wanted him to say it out loud??

_Silence is a yes Mickey_

He listened to her laugh still fumbling for the right words. 

“We are just getting closer,” he said instantly regretting it. Mandy fucking cackled. 

_Fucking knew it._

She sounded so fucking smug. 

_Look I know you're probably freaking out and everything, but just let things happen okay Mickey? Don't fight it unless you don't want it. Because if you do, then just let it fucking happen for once. No one is around to hurt you for it._

Mickey sighed. It was the last sentence that got to him. That was part of the underlying problem. He wasn't _out_ out. Mandy knew, Ian knew, Yev knew, and the people Yev accidentally told knew, but he had been so fucking terrified since he was 11 and realized that shit he did not want to fuck girls but rather their boyfriends. He'd buried that shit way down. When he indulged it was anonymous and somewhere he wasn't going to get caught. 

And then he got careless...

_Mickey?_

“I'm still here,” he said softly.

_I just I want you to be on cloud fucking nine Mickey. And I know Yev is the light of your life, but you know it's not enough. I just want you to be open to seeing where things go with Ian._

“I know,” Mickey sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He got up deciding he needed that cigarette. 

_Just don't be a douche about it._

Mickey smiled. “I expected you to call me a pussy or something,” Mickey laughed. 

_Nah pussy would be a compliment, more like don't be a limp dick about it._

“Whatever bitch. Bye.”

_I better get all the fucking dirty details!_

Mickey laughed and ended the call. Mandy managed him to feel better and to be more worried at the same time. 

Like what if Ian didn't even want a relationship? 

Okay Mickey knew that was most likey a lie given the hints, but he couldn't be 100% sure. Ian hadn't come out and said he wanted to date Mickey! Which Mickey knew he wouldn't be able to handle. He knew, he fucking _knew_ , that if Ian said something like Mickey I want to date you, Mickey would either say A) something dumb like I like cake and then everything would be awkward and he'd have to jump out the window. Or B) his brain would simply short circuit and he'd die from shock. There was no way something like that went well. Sure he could ooze confidence and be suave when he was picking up some booty call, but Ian wasn't that and Ian made him fumble his words and stay awake at night giving himself fucking pep talks. 

Thank god for nicotine or he'd have taken up drinking like a fucking champ. Which he could do, but didn't do anymore. 

\-----------------------------------------------------

And then it was Friday. 

\------------------------------------------------------

It was just after five when Mickey finally got out of work to go and pick Yev up from school. He was extremely grateful for the schools after school program since he only got off in time to meet Yev at the bus stop once a week. 

Ian was texting him about getting a head start on making lesson plans to which Mickey tried to act like he understood shit about books he'd never read. He knew Ian saw right through his bullshit though. The moment he said All Quiet On the Western Front was about the Cold War and Ian corrected him, he knew Ian was just asking Mickey's opinions for laughs. 

Surprisingly he didn't mind. That much...

Mickey walked around to the back of the school where a bunch of kids were playing on the playground. Mickey waved to Aubrey and looked over to find Yev on his stomach at the end of a slide staring at the wood chips. 

“Yev!” Aubrey called while walking over to him. The moment he saw Mickey he took off running and ran straight into Mickey almost knocking him over. 

'It's the weekend!' Yev signed grinning ear to ear. 

“Yes it is,” Mickey said picking up his backpack knowing what Yev was going to sign next. “Why is your backpack wet?” Mickey asked ignoring Yev's signing about going to see Ian. Yev looked at him and shrugged. 

'I put my carrots in water to keep them fresh,' he signed. Mickey wanted to look into the camera like he was in the Office. 

“Yev, next time eat them or save them I don't care, but no submerging things in water,” Mickey said before saying a quick goodbye to Aubrey as Yev grabbed his hand yanking him towards the exit. 

'I can't wait to go to Ian's!' Yev continued to sign until they were a block away from the school. “Can I pack tonight?” Yev asked happily. 

“When are you going to speak in class?” Mickey asked. Yev's face turned sour. 

“They're gonna make fun of my voice,” he said. 

“Elise and Ethan didn't. Or Ian or Debbie or Liam,” Mickey reminded him. Yev shrugged. He didn't want to push the subject and make Yev feel like Mickey was forcing him to talk, but he didn't want to not address the subject at all. 

“I talk to Aubrey,” he told Mickey. 

“I know and I'm proud, but I'm sure you'd feel better talking too. You have a lot to say,” Mickey added with a smile. 

“Like how I told Aunt Mandy about the BBQ,” he said. Mickey nodded. Yev related the entire event to Mandy and paused to take maybe three breaths max. “Can I pack when I get home?” Yev asked switching subjects. 

“What? Why are you packing?” Mickey asked confused. Yev actually stopped and sighed dramatically. 

“For _Ian's_ ,” he groaned like Mickey was either completely stupid or obviously not aware of their weekend plans. Mickey fought the urge he very well knew what they were doing on the weekend. 

“No Yev like what are you even going to pack?” Mickey asked. Yev groaned throwing his hands in the air. Mickey rolled his eyes. “It's not even a full sleepover,” Mickey added. Yev had only ever slept over at Mandy's house and he was only doing a half sleep over at Ian's. Ian tried very hard to convince Mickey to stay the whole night, but after a very serious conversation with himself, Mickey declined. 

This time. 

He told himself it was because Yev needed his own bed, but he knew the kids could literally fall asleep anywhere he could lay down. Mickey knew the real reason was because, even though he didn't do fucking relationships, he didn't want whatever they were doing too fast. 

“Daaaaaaad,” Yev continued to groan. Mickey rolled his eyes. 

 

When they got home, Mickey started dinner and Yev went to pour over their DVD collection. Thank god for the second hand bookstore because brand new DVDs were a ripoff. Sixteen dollars for Big Hero 6? Fuck no. 

Spaghetti was ready after Yev had narrowed it down to three choices. He was very intently explaining to Mickey which each choice was a good choice. He said they could go with a classic, Shrek. A historical film, How to Train Your Dragon. Or an adult film, Muppets Most Wanted. 

Mickey asked Yev if he was going to give him a spreadsheet to go over. Yev said yes if he knew what that was. 

In the end, Mickey told him to bring all three and decide when they got there. Especially since chances were his choice would change before Sunday. 

 

After dinner and after Mickey made Yev clean up all the DVDs, he drew a bath for his son and sat on the toilet while Yev played with a loofa. 

'What are you texting?' Yev signed. 

'Telling Ian we might watch a history film.' Mickey signed back. Yev nodded. Ian texted back laughing. 

'Can I bring Nemo?' Yev signed. Mickey gave him a confused look. Yev rolled his eyes. 'To Ian's?' he added. Mickey sighed. 

'Nemo is huge!' Mickey signed. 

'He's not that big,' Yev signed shrugging.

'Wash your hair,' Mickey signed. Yev rolled his eyes but picked up the shampoo. Thanks to his son Mickey smelled like strawberries. Yev was particular about the shampoo they used. Mickey had never been more aware of the fact that his shampoo made him smell like a strawberry smoothie then right now when he was in the middle of texting Ian. 

He considered going to buy new shampoo tomorrow. 

'Do you think I was a mermaid?' Yev signed after taping on the side of the tub to get Mickey's attention. Mickey was way too busy worrying about shampoo, but looked up. 

'What?' he asked. Yev shrugged.

'Maybe I can't hear because I used to use echo location,' Yev explained. 'So I could only hear clicks and stuff, but when I became human it didn't turn into regular hearing. It got broken.'

Mickey stared at Yev. He wasn't into religion. Yev had been baptized, but that was as much religion as Mickey wanted him to have. Obviously he'd explained Jesus and Christianity to Yev with a lot of help from Vegetales. They'd watched Rugrats celebrate Hanukkah and Passover after Yev had a winter party in kindergarten and asked why he didn't get to light candles for eight days. Mickey had to do research on Islam when Yev had questions about kids in his class. Yev took books out of the library out Buddhism and Hinduism. 

But this was the first time Mickey heard Yev bring up reincarnation. He knew it was in one of the various religions Yev had read about, but he read all that months ago. Of course he'd combine reincarnation with mermaids though. 

'I guess if it makes sense to you,' Mickey finally signed. He wasn't about to tell his kid that it was a ridiculous thought. He wanted Yev to create his own opinions about life and why things happened. 

'It does,' Yev confirmed. 'I don't think you were a mermaid though,' Yev added. Mickey shrugged. If Yev's theory were true he was probably right. Mickey was definitely not a water person. 'You'd be an Earth bender probably,' he continued.

'A what?' Mickey signed. Yev sighed rolling his eyes.

'Avatar!' Yev signed looking at Mickey like he knew nothing. He nodded. They marathoned Avatar the Last Airbender at the beginning of the summer. 'What do you think Ian would be?'

'For what?' Mickey asked. He didn't know which tangent Yev wanted to go down. 

'Bender. Probably fire right?' he asked. 

'Sure,' Mickey signed. 

'Be serious dad,' Yev complained. Mickey got up and got Yev's towel.

'Get out before you prune,' Mickey signed. Yev groaned but stood up. Mickey stood him on the rug ruffling his hair with the towel while Yev grunted at him. He wrapped Yev in the towel and handed him his hearing aids. Yev put them on and immediately went back to their conversation. 

“Do you think Ian would be fire?” he asked. Mickey shooed him towards hisi room. 

“I don't know,” Mickey said. 

“I think fire fits best. I think I could be Earth like you or maybe fire,” Yev explained. 

“What about water?” Mickey asked picking up Yev's dirty clothes and put them in the basket. Yev was digging in his drawer for what Mickey hoped was clean pajamas. 

“I might have been a mermaid, but I don't feel like water. I bet I was like red and orange and gold.”

“When?” Mickey asked lost again.

“When I was a mermaid!” Yev yelled at him. Mickey smiled. Yev turned to ignore him and get dressed.

“Yevvy,” Mickey murmured scooping him up. 

“Go away,” he grumbled. Mickey dumped him on his bed and proceeded to hug him tightly. “Dad I'm going to suffocate and die!” he cried wiggling. Mickey let him go and Yev threw Nemo at him. 

“Yev come on I want to know what I'd look like as a mermaid,” Mickey sighed staring up at the ceiling drumming his fingers on his chest. That was a sentence he never thought he'd say. 

“Earth colors,” Yev mumbled.

“Like green and brown?” Mickey asked. 

“With some blue too,” Yev said curling up with Mickey. He nodded and asked a question he knew Yev would like.

“What about Ian?” 

“Hmm. Well I said I'd be like red and orange and gold and I think he'd be the same but more red and gold,” Yev explained. 

“Mmm,” Mickey murmured.

“I'll draw it tomorrow,” Yev said. 

“Okay,” he said rubbing Yev's back. 

“Dad?” he asked. 

“What?”

“Sing Winter Wonderland,” Yev murmured. Mickey sighed. One of these days he had to give up the damn Christmas right? 

\----------------------------------------------------------

Saturday was filled with more mermaid talk while Avatar the Last Airbender played in the background. Yev insisted on educating Mickey about bending to prove that Mickey would be an Earth bender. He told Yev he'd seen the show before, but Yev told Mickey this time they were watching it for educational purposes. 

Mickey rolled his eyes. 

Yev's drawings were actually interesting though. He used crayons, colored pencils, markers, and, to Mickey's dismay, glitter. It was everywhere in an instant and Yev looked like something out of the movie with the fucking sparkly vampires. But the pictures were cool. He made one for their fridge and one for Ian's. 

And even though Mickey promised Yev that Ian had a fridge, Yev wouldn't stop harassing Mickey until he texted Ian and asked if he had a damn refrigerator. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

And then it was fucking Sunday. Mickey had gotten maybe six hours of restless sleep. He didn't feel tired when he got up though. He felt jittery and anxious and like he needed to run a fucking mile or rob a store. 

A cigarette calmed him a little and early morning texts from Ian did both good and bad. He couldn't stop reading Ian's 'can't wait for you to come over' text and he almost burnt the waffles. Mickey passed a plate to Yev who proceeded to slather his waffles in Nutella and arrange pieces of cut up banana on top. Mickey went for the more traditional route and used syrup and butter. 

Yev hummed happily while eating. He had been jumping around all morning singing, “She's an American beauty. I'm an American psycho.” And it had all been fine until he sang some of the other lyrics and was screaming out, “Thus we were pity sex! Nothing more and nothing less!” And Mickey was so startled he almost dropped his phone in the toilet. 

Yev's final choices for movies were a cultural film, Book of Life, a historical film, How to Train Your Dragon, and if they were feeling wild he had Despicable Me. The movies were placed in a neat pile next to his backpack which was packed with his pajamas, his tooth brush, several books, Ian's drawing, and various toys he claimed were a necessity. And on top of that was his giant Nemo stuffed animal. The pile of stuff embarrassed Mickey so much that he almost wanted to say they were cutting their evening short and he'd leave before Yev had to be in bed. 

But he found he couldn't actually bring himself to type the words. He played it off as Yev and Mandy would be disappointed in him, but deep down he knew he didn't _really_ want to cut his time with Ian short. 

 

The evening approached faster then Mickey would have liked. They were walking down the street towards Ian's apartment which was on the other side of the park and Yev was happily skipping while clutching Nemo and wearing his cute backpack that Mickey shoved the movies into, and all Mickey could do was clutch his six pack of beer nervously and suck away at a cigarette. Every step he took he repeated not a date to himself. It wasn't helping though. Nothing was. He was going into Ian's fucking apartment and spending time with just Ian and like yeah they'd be virtually alone together before, but this was going to be in his fucking house and – and – that's where intimate things could happen!! 

Mickey almost laid down in the middle of the crosswalk. 

The outside of Ian's apartment building looked a lot like Mickey's which made him feel better. He went in and up to the sixth floor. Then Yev ran down the hall and rang Ian's doorbell and Mickey half feared they'd rang the wrong bell, but finally Ian opened the door and Mickey let out the breath he was holding. 

“Hey,” he said. Yev was already hugging Ian tight which was obviously difficult because he was still holding Nemo. 

“Hey,” Ian said smiling. “Hi Yev,” he added happily. 

“I made something for you!” Yev said excitedly and pushed his way into Ian's apartment. Mickey gave Ian an apologetic look before entering. 

The apartment was smaller then Mickey's considering it was a one bedroom place. The doorway opened into the living room. The kitchen was to the left and the bedroom and bathroom were to the right. The walls were a pale blue and the floors were wood. The couch was worn, there were some plants, the TV wasn't elaborate or enormous, all of it comforted Mickey. It felt lived in and didn't look like it cost a million dollars like Mandy's house or Ian's brother Lip's house. 

He set the six pack down watching Ian go over to where Yev was dumping things out of his backpack. Ian was dressed in a tank and basketball shorts and suddenly Mickey felt very over dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. 

“Oh wow,” Ian commented when Yev pulled out the picture. 

“I think I was a mermaid in a past life and that's why my hearing is messed up. I was used hearing other things and then human hearing was put in wrong,” Yev explained. Ian nodded even though Mickey had told him Yev's mermaid theory. “Then I was thinking of bending and obviously my dad is an Earth bender, but I think I'm fire. Maybe I'm Earth too, but I feel more fire and that's why I picked the colors for the mermaids.”

“So I'm fire?” Ian asked. Yev nodded. 

“And not because you have red hair. I just think fire is the best fit for you,” Yev told him. 

“That makes sense. I can see myself being a fire bender,” Ian said. Yev grinned. 

“He spent all day yesterday educating me,” Mickey laughed. Ian smiled getting up and going to put the picture on the fridge. Mickey looked at the photos Ian had on his fridge. Most were him and his siblings. There was a school picture of Elise although she looked younger with her two front teeth missing. There was a picture of Ian holding Ethan at a pumpkin patch and then a picture of him and Laila next to a bunch of pumpkins. 

“I go apple picking with my family. Well Carl never comes, but I think Fiona is forcing him to this year. Since he's out of juvie... we go near the end of September,” Ian said looking at Mickey. “You guys should come. We've gone three years in a row and it's great. I never did anything like that as a kid so it feels like I'm making up for lost time,” he laughed. Mickey nodded too distracted by the picture of him and Yev on Ian's fridge. It had to have been taken at the zoo. He and Yev were smiling but it was a candid shot. 

Ian noticed and turned pink. “Sorry that's probably really awkward,” he said running a hand through his hair. 

“It's okay,” Mickey said quietly and mentally kicked the wall at what he said because like it's okay? What the fuck did that mean?

Ian smiled hanging Yev's art up in a clear space and turned around. “Ready to order some pizza Yev?” Ian asked. Yev cheered. 

 

The ordered one cheese and one pepperoni, both large. Ian had raspberry lemonade in his fridge that Yev drank happily while they drank beer. They ate on the couch while watching the Book of Life because Ian hadn't seen it before. Yev was spread out on the rug in front of the TV among his toys while Mickey sat on the couch with Ian. It was a normal sized couch, but he felt too close to Ian. He did his best to not let his eyes linger on Ian, but he could feel Ian's eyes on him. 

After they ate Yev was revved up, so Ian suggested they _work out_ , which Yev was on board with, but Ian fucking _winked_ at Mickey and Mickey felt his blood rushing to his groin and just _no_. But Ian fucking turned on his workout playlist, turning it up, moved the stupid coffee table, and began _stretching_ with Yev. It was already too much. Mickey hoped the world swallowed him before the actual work out started. 

But of course that didn't fucking happen and after they were all fucking stretched Ian was doing push-ups with Yev while Mickey sat helplessly on the couch heart thudding in time to the fast paced music eyes glued to Ian's muscles. Dear lord he was going to die. Like actually die. His heart was going to fucking stop. 

Next were sit-ups and Mickey was able to catch his breath for a moment. He turned his attention to Yev who was doing pretty good for a six year old. He was having fun and singing along to the songs he knew. Mickey recognized them as songs Ian had told him to listen to. 

After sit-ups Yev wanted to know what they could do next. He told Yev to follow him to the closet. Yev returned happily with a jump rope. Mandy had taught Yev had to jump rope as it was a skill Mickey had failed to master as a child. Yev was pretty good although he was better at doing it backwards which no one understood. 

But then Ian, _fucking Ian_ , took the jump rope and Mickey expected some casual jump roping. But then Ian started and of fucking course he looked fucking beautiful and went so fast and Yev was amazed and cheering him on and he was watching Mickey and Mickey wanted to lie face down on the couch and smoother himself before he gave in and tore Ian's clothes off. Jump roping was not supposed to be that attractive. Nor did Mickey think someone should be allowed to be that good at it. 

He sat on the couch digging his nails into the cushion and thought about saggy tits to try and get rid of the flushed feeling that had washed over him. 

Last was pull-ups. Mickey scoffed saying he could do that and went first to finally prove he was not some mess on the couch drooling over Ian, but rather an equally strong alpha male. Ian smiled and shook his head. Doing pull-ups made him feel better even though he had to then suffer watching Ian do them and fuck Mickey's pants were tight. It wasn't an issue that needed to be taken care of, but he sure would _like_ to take care of it. 

Preferably with Ian's hand. 

The thought made him choke and start coughing violently, but that luckily got rid of all potential boners Mickey was close to getting. And thank god because Ian was side eying him like he fucking knew Mickey was on the verge of full blown hard on. 

 

They had chocolate chip cookies for desert and watched How to Train Your Dragon which Mickey learned was a clever ruse by Yev who claimed they had to get together to watch the second one. Mickey rolled his eyes, but Ian agreed. Yev cheered victoriously. 

Then it was bedtime. Ian's bedroom was fairly plain. Plain navy comforter on a double bed, a desk covered in school books and planners, a closet and dresser. Nothing that stood out. 

Yev parked himself in the middle of the bed and started creating his nest. He wanted Ian to read him a story and then Mickey read one. Mickey tried tirelessly to push out thoughts of how they were basically a pair of dads putting their son to bed because those thoughts were both wonderful and terrifying. 

“Dad, sing Sleigh Ride,” Yev said sleepily. 

“Yev,” Mickey whined. He really did not want to sing to Yev in front of Ian. 

'Please?' he signed. Mickey sighed. 

“I'll sing with you,” Ian offered. Mickey stared at him and held up one finger. He pulled out his phone to tell Mandy he was going to sing Sleigh Ride with Ian to Yev, so that way if he died she'd know why.

“Okay,” Mickey said taking a deep breath. “Just hear those sleigh bells ring-a-ling,” he started, Ian joining in with him. 

 

Mickey happened to not die. He was very aware at how alive he was when he went back into the living room with Ian. Alone. 

“I need a cigarette,” he said weakly as Ian picked up. He nodded crossing the room with Mickey to the balcony. He lit up taking a slow calming drag. “Yev really likes you,” Mickey said exhaling the smoke. 

“I really like Yev,” Ian said. Mickey took another drag, the words he wanted to say were on the tip of his tongue. He wanted to say them. Everyone wanted him to say them. But he... could he? Was he allowed to? Was it the right thing to do? The questions swirled around in his head. 

“I was married,” Mickey said instead. While he wasn't ready to completely open up about everything, he wanted Ian to know. 

“Oh,” Ian said but his tone was indifferent. 

“We're divorced now,” he said and turned to look at Ian. 

“Did you love her?” he asked and the words actually made Mickey feel nauseous. 

“No fuck no, god no,” he said weakly. “Hated her.”

Ian was silent for a moment. “I was forced to marry her,” he added. “Because I was... gay,” he said softly looking at the ground. 

“I'm sorry Mickey,” Ian said concern in his voice. Mickey sighed and brought his cigarette to his lips. He wasn't ready to go into all of it, but he wanted Ian to know more. To understand that things like this were hard although he wasn't sure explaining he had an ex-wife was doing that. 

“I just... relationships never happened. They couldn't and I didn't want them to,” he said the words spilling out. “It was easier to just fuck and to fuck those I was expected to fuck,” he said bitterly. It was like years of self-hate were bubbling up inside of him and he couldn't stop the words. He'd said it all to Mandy, but to someone else? He didn't know how to stop though. “I had to do it to fucking survive. For years and years and years,” he bit out. He tightened his hands on the railing. It had lead him to a point where he wanted to just drink himself to death and disappear...

“Mickey...” Ian started. Mickey flicked the cigarette butt over the edge of the balcony. He couldn't look at Ian. He was too disgusted with himself. Everything he'd done. Everything he was. Everything Ian didn't know. “Mickey I still... I want to try to be more than friends,” Ian said as if he was choosing his words very careful.

Mickey was blindsided by the relief that washed over him. He hadn't expected it. Those words... he didn't know how bad he wanted to hear them until Ian said them.   
He laughed, eyes watering. He pressed his palms to his eyes and tried to hold it together. He took some deep breaths feeling Ian's strong arms wrap around him and pull Mickey's head against his chest. They stood there, Mickey crying silently, ignoring the fact that Ian was running his hands through his strawberry smoothie scented hair, and Ian hugging him tightly. 

Mickey hadn't even said anything to answer Ian, but he knew Ian knew his answer. He wiped his eyes, pulling himself together. A weight was lifted, but at the same time it opened up a whole new door of terrors. He sighed. 

“So now what?” he asked lighting up another cigarette. Ian shrugged holding out his hand. Mickey took a drag before passing it. 

“We do a just us date,” Ian said. “For lunch or something. If you don't feel comfortable going out I can join you on campus. Or if there's time we could go to one of our apartments.”

Mickey shrugged. “We could start on campus,” he agreed. Ian nodded. 

“Wednesday?” he asked. 

“Okay,” Mickey said with a small smile. Hopefully he was masking the sheer terror he felt over the word date. 

“Want to watch a movie before you go?” Ian asked. Mickey frowned at the word go. The day came too soon and now the night was passing too quickly. 

“I don't want Yev to know we are trying this more than friends thing,” Mickey told Ian. 

“Of course,” Ian agreed. “One step at a time.” 

Mickey nodded gratefully. 

“So movie?” Ian asked. 

“Yeah,” Mickey said with a nod. 

 

They landed on Hot Fuzz which Mickey hadn't seen in years. They laughed and drank beer. Ian talked about how he'd love to travel the world, but he'd only gotten as far as Wisconsin so far. Mickey said he was glad he didn't live in some fucking dinky town in England with a bunch of armed weirdos. 

That made Ian laugh. 

And they sat next to each other on the couch, close enough that their sides were touching and their legs and arms and Mickey fully planned to leave that part of the story out when he told Mandy, but it was nice. Ian was warm and he smelled good. Mickey briefly freaked out because he smelled like a fucking strawberry smoothie, but Ian didn't mention it so he calmed down. 

Mickey hated to admit it, but he felt sad when the movie ended knowing it was time to call it a night. Ian helped gather Yev's things and Mickey went to gather him up. 

“Um Ian?” Mickey asked in a whisper. 

“What?” Ian asked. 

“One of Yev's hearing aids has run off and I don't know where to look. I'm afraid I'm going to find your porn or your dildos,” he whispered. Ian laughed. 

“I don't have dildos,” he told Mickey. 

“Okay you “don't”,” Mickey said using air quotes. Ian laughed again. 

“I don't. Do you?” he asked. Mickey rolled his eyes.

“Can you just help me look?” he asked. 

“Is it a big dildo?” Ian asked him. Mickey threw his hands up in the air while Ian giggled. 

“I'm not having a whisper argument about dildos in the room my son is sleeping in!” he hissed. Ian had to stuff his fist in his mouth to keep from laughing too hard. 

 

They found the hearing aid on Ian's desk and thankfully no porn or dildos were uncovered. Mickey put on Yev's backpack before picking his dead asleep son up. Then he awkwardly picked up giant Nemo groaning because why was Nemo so fucking big? 

Ian offered to help, but Mickey said it was fine. If Ian came with it'd just be harder to say good bye and he didn't want to do something awkward like have another dildo conversation. 

So he reluctantly said his goodbyes and left. The walk home felt like it took forever, but he was feeling good. He was going to try the more than friends thing and not labeling it a relationship was helping put him at ease. Kind of. 

Mickey got home and put Yev in his bed before going outside to smoke. He took out his phone, hoping to see that Ian had texted him. He had. 

But the text read 'send me a pic of your dildos ;) ' and Mickey almost chucked his phone off the balcony out of embarrassment.

“Fucking chirst Ian,” he muttered texting back 'fuck no :D'. And sighed heavily because he used another fucking smiley face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many things happened in this chapter that I loved, so I hope you all enjoyed too. 
> 
> Also, shout out to mickeysavesian and flazy2 on tumblr who I follow and saw discussing this story and then I felt like a huge creeper for seeing it. haha.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I feel like I haven't updated in forever. And yes I know I never finished editing the last chapter. Whoops. Enjoy this wonderful chapter!

It was raining. No. It was pouring. Like the sky opened up and they should start building an Ark. 

And it was ruining Mickey's plans. Well not really, but now he was going to Ian's APARTMENT for lunch when before it was going to be a casual eating outside on campus thing. But now it was like a fucking _private_ thing. 

And really, Mickey couldn't complain. Ian had given him an out and he was the one who dismissed it and said it would be fine. He said it even though he knew he'd be on edge the entire morning and bite his nails constantly while avoiding eye contact with fucking Cara. 

She knew something was up. She knew it the second he walked in and Mickey wondered if it was written on his forehead that he was going to try being more than friends with Ian because goddamn he felt like everyone knew. 

“Have a date?” she asked after Mickey told Mr. Egan he was going to take a little longer for his lunch break. 

Mickey coughed obnoxiously, hoping no one heard her, and shook his head. “I don't date,” Mickey muttered. Even though the thing with Ian was, in fact, a date. He could try to call it something else, but Mandy said to suck it the fuck up and admit it was a date. A tiny date.

But now it was a fucking intimate date thing! 

 

Mickey grumbled as he walked. He had to walk to Ian's fucking apartment with a shitty umbrella in a fucking monsoon for their date. Mickey was sure it was about to turn into some stupid romantic comedy where they both got wet in the rain and ended up naked and having fucking sex in front of the fire place while their clothes dried. And while he'd been constantly fantasizing about Ian naked, he wasn't ready for it to turn into some kind of fuck fest on his lunch break. 

Well okay if Ian _suggested_ sex, Mickey probably wouldn't say no...

He paused and wondered if a flash flood could just appear and wash him away before he said something dumb to Ian. 

 

“Hey,” Ian said when he pulled open the door. He was in nearly the same outfit as he'd been in when Mickey and Yev had been there on the weekend. Black tank, basketball shorts... Mickey wasn't staring. “You got wet too?” Ian laughed moving so Mickey could go inside. 

“My umbrella was nearly fucking useless,” Mickey muttered kicking off his soaked shoes.

“Want me to dry your clothes?” Ian asked. Mickey froze turning bright red. He needed Zeus – he was the lightening one right? – to end his fucking life because he hated how he could tell his face was burning and that look Ian was giving him and – !!!!! “I can give you something to wear,” Ian added. 

Mickey nodded weakly, positive he had just had a stroke. Ian smiled. 

“I didn't have a fucking umbrella and I got soaked too,” he said to Mickey as he headed to his room. “Like me and all my shit too. It got wet,” he said gesturing to his desk and dresser where soggy planners and books sat. 

“How did you forget an umbrella? The forecast said 100% chance.”

Ian shrugged. “I forget to look at the weather a lot and it looked okay this morning.”

Mickey shook his head. “Yev gets on the Weather app on the tablet every morning like clock work. He tells me the weather over breakfast and then looks for places with better and worse weather. He loves those fucking weather maps where it gives like future predictions,” Mickey laughed. 

“I need him here to tell me the weather,” Ian said handing Mickey clothes. “Um they're probably going to be big on you, but uh I hope that's okay?” Ian said rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Better then feeling like a wet dog,” Mickey said cursing himself for his word choice. Ian smiled. 

“Okay,” Ian said and left Mickey alone in the bedroom. 

He set the clothes down on the edge of the bed and began peeling off his soaked clothes. Even his fucking underwear were wet. And yeah it wasn't cold out, but the rain was freezing and he was nearly shivering by the time he'd completely stripped. 

He pulled on the navy sweats and t-shirt Ian had given him quickly. After almost fucking falling trying to get his pants off, he didn't want Ian to come bursting in thinking he was hurt and see him naked and sprawled out in pain. 

The pants were too long and slid down his hips a little _too_ far and the shirt was baggy, but fuck was it comfortable. And it smelled like Ian. And just _fuck_ he was so fucking fucked. There was no way he survived this... this... date...

Mickey gathered his wet clothes and went back into the living room. 

“Thought you fell and was afraid you were dead,” Ian said taking Mickey's clothes. He laughed nervously. He was so fucking pathetic. 

“Yeah,” Mickey said. “Did you do ROTC?” Mickey asked. The shirt Ian had given him had ROTC across the front in bold letters. Ian gave a small smile. 

“Yeah uh yeah I did Junior ROTC and then ROTC in high school. I was going to join right after high school, but Fiona begged me not to. Wanted me to go to college and shit,” Ian explained taking stuff out of his fridge. “I hope pasta salad is okay,” he said. Mickey nodded. 

The thought of Ian in the army was kind of scary. Mickey had been shot at before, but the thought of willingly putting himself in that kind of position, where tons of people wanted him dead... he didn't like it. 

“I ended up joining though,” Ian said handing Mickey a plate. 

“What?” Mickey asked. Ian gestured towards the couch. 

“Yeah I was... it was when the bipolar was getting bad and I said fuck it to school and went to the recruiting office. It didn't even last a week,” Ian said with a sad laugh. 

“Don't you get in trouble for that?” Mickey asked taking a bite. 

“Yeah, but they decided it was because I was mentally ill, so they released me to my sister. To Fiona.”

“Did you like it?” he asked. “The ROTC?” 

Ian was quiet a moment. “Yeah I really did. Dreamed of going to West Point and being like a big time officer or something. I loved all the training and the work...” Ian trailed off with a shrug. Mickey knew a lot about failed dreams. Not that he had ever had many realistic ones. His were mostly pipe dreams that he'd think of when he was little to forget how much he hated his life and hated that his dad was drunk and how he wasn't good at anything but stealing and robbing. 

“Do you have any hobbies?” Ian asked. Mickey laughed. 

“If you call shooting bottles with various weapons or hot wiring a car a hobby then yeah,” he said with a smile hoping to lighten the mood. Ian nodded. “Besides Yev's the one with all the hobbies. Reading, drawing, learning about the ocean, a bunch of other shit.”

“You're good at computer stuff,” Ian pointed out. 

“Hardly,” Mickey said. “I just practiced a lot and went to free classes and did online shit. I kind of had a knack for it. Or at least that's what Mandy always says,” Mickey said humbly. 

“Oh Mickey. So modest,” Ian teased. Mickey narrowed his eyes at him. 

“I'm sorry I don't flaunt my skills Mr. I'm a hot teacher,” Mickey mocked. 

“You think I'm a hot teacher?” Ian asked. Mickey went pink and avoided eye contact while internally yelling at himself. “Are you hot for teacher?” he asked with a smirk. 

“Are trying to quote Van Halen at me?” Mickey asked desperate to change the subject before all his blood rushed to his dick. 

“Admit it,” Ian practically purred and Mickey felt like the room was suddenly too hot and he was going to die. Die because of Ian because Ian was – !!!!!!

Mickey composed himself after having another mild stroke, and smirked right back. “Is that what you want Mr. Gallagher?” Mickey asked giving Ian a cheeky grin. MICKEY HAD NO IDEA WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HE WAS DOING BUT HE WENT WITH IT. 

“That depends Mr. Milkovich. Am I going to have to spank you until you admit –“

Ian was abruptly silenced by Mickey's cell phone ringing at full volume. 

Ian stared at Mickey. 

Mickey stared in horror as his extremely embarrassing ring tone played to completion. The full two minutes. The two longest minutes of his entire fucking life. 

“Mickey, what did I just listen to?” Ian asked. Mickey was raking his brain for a way to reverse time. He gaped a few times, but had no words. “Was that song about Pokemon?”

Mickey's life could not get any worse. This was the apex. He'd reached the top. This was his personal hell. 

“It's this band called Starbomb,” he choked out. “They do parodies about like video games,” he explained. Ian nodded. “We started listening as a joke and yeah...” Mickey said with a heavy sigh. 

Ian burst out laughing. Mickey turned pink. 

“You aren't helping,” Mickey grumbled crossing his arms. 

“I want to hear it again,” Ian said composing himself. “It's cute,” he added. Mickey rolled his eyes. 

“You really are not helping,” Mickey muttered. At least his fucking half chub was gone though. Ian laughed, squeezing Mickey's shoulder as he passed to get Mickey's phone off the counter. 

Luckily it was only Aubrey giving him the normal lunch time update. Which was why he had his phone on ring in the first place. 

“How's Yev?” Ian asked. They stood in the door way of the sliding door not wanting to go fully onto the balcony because it was still pouring. 

“Good. He wants the city to flood so he can ride a whale,” Mickey said with a shrug. “He was doing his rain dance on the way to school.”

Ian laughed. “Show me,” he said. Mickey shook his head. 

“No fucking way,” Mickey laughed passing Ian the cigarette. Ian pouted. “Come one man. Don't give me that look,” Mickey complained. 

“Come on and show me. I'll do it with you if you show me,” Ian said. 

And for some unknown fucking reason Mickey stood in Ian's living room and showed him Yev's fucking rain dance. He fully blamed the two strokes he was sure he'd had that afternoon. 

And then Ian was dancing with him and everything was perfect and weird and Mickey could feel the mortification from earlier melting away and he hated it because it was almost time for him to go home and it wasn't fucking fair. 

“If it rains harder I'm blaming you,” Mickey said floping back down on the couch with Ian. He had about half an hour left. 

“I don't think it's possible for it to rain more,” Ian said. They were sitting so that their legs were touching and Mickey was trying not to die because of it. “When can we do this again?” he asked. 

Mickey's brain did that short circuit thing and he blurted out, “Always free for lunch.”

Ian smiled. “So Friday?” he asked. Mickey nodded. “I like how you look in my clothes,” Ian said reaching out to touch Mickey's hand. Mickey nodded again. Apparently all he could fuCKING DO WAS NOD NOW. 

Although he did bite his tongue before gushing that he loved wearing Ian's clothes because they were comfortable and warm and soft and smelled like Ian and – and – and he just stared at Ian. 

“Mickey?” he asked, fingers circling Mickey's wrist. Mickey felt his throat go dry. This was _it_. It had to be _it_. 

“Yeah?” he asked quietly. He said a silent prayer to whatever god kept his voice from cracking. Ian cocked his head and gave Mickey a small smile. 

“I really want to kiss you, Mickey,” he said softly. Mickey wasn't sure he'd even heard Ian right, but he still nodded. 

And then Ian was leaning forward and pulling Mickey toward him and Mickey's heart was stopping and 911 he didn't even know if he was a good kisser and Ian's hand was cupping his face and his hands pressed against Ian's chest and everything was moving in fucking slow motion and then – 

Ian pressed his lips to Mickey's and Mickey's eyes immediately fell shut. Ian held his lips against Mickey's for a moment before moving them, kissing him again. His arm was wrapping around Mickey. Ian pulled Mickey closer to deepen the kiss. To press his lips firmly and then softly. Like the ebb and flow of waves. 

And Mickey was holding onto Ian's shirt like he was going to drown if he let go. He let Ian lead, moving their lips together and apart and then back together again. Mickey's lungs burned, but he couldn't break the kiss. Not yet. Not when it felt so good to have Ian's mouth on his and Ian holding him tightly. 

Ian broke the kiss to take a deep breath. Mickey slowly opened his eyes. It was a mistake because Ian, fucking Ian, was all flushed and his lips were swelling and he was smiling and Mickey wanted nothing more than the kiss Ian again. 

So he boldly leaned forward capturing Ian's mouth with his. Falling back into a slow rhythm, he once again let Ian lead. Ian hummed happily, running his fingers through Mickey's hair. 

“I don't want you to go so soon,” Ian whispered when they broke apart again. Mickey glanced at the clock sadly. 

“Friday. Here,” Mickey said. He planned on spending his entire lunch break with his lips attached to Ian's. 

“Okay,” Ian said pulling Mickey back in for a quick peck. “I'll get your clothes.” 

Mickey sighed as Ian stood up. He hadn't realized how much he didn't want that moment to end. 

“Text me when you're done with work,” Ian said fixing the collar of Mickey's shirt. 

“Okay,” Mickey agreed. 

“See you later,” Ian murmured giving Mickey another quick kiss. Mickey smiled. 

“Yeah, see your ass later!” he said feeling like he was on cloud fucking nine. Ian laughed as Mickey headed down the hall. As much as the word _relationship_ terrified him, Mickey could get used to afternoons with Ian now that they were trying the being more than friends thing. 

\------------------------------------------------

After Mickey FINALLY got Yev in bed and to sleep, he texted Ian who had told Mickey to text him after Yev was asleep. Yev had been off the wall all afternoon as if feeding off of Mickey's excellent mood. Like he had refused to lay down unless he got to preform Little Black Submarines by the Black Keys for Mickey complete with air guitar, costume change, and head banging. 

'I think there was something in the kool-aid' Mickey texted. The rain had finally stopped and he could go out on the balcony to smoke. 

'Not surprised' was Ian's answer. It made Mickey laugh. He took a long drag. 

'Is there a reason you wanted to speak to me so late, Mr. Gallagher?' Mickey texted knowing exactly what Ian wanted from their late night conversation. It'd taken him the last three hours to talk himself into sexting with Ian again. The fact that he initiated it surprised him though. He wasn't sure if it was a good sign or a bad sign though. 

And the longer Ian took to respond was making him more nervous. So nervous that Ian's text almost caused him to drop his phone off the balcony. 

'You never answered my question Mr. Milkovich.'

'What question was that?' Mickey asked cheekily. He was doing this. He was fucking sexting with Ian like he was his sexy teacher or something! Was this illegal? 

'Do you want me?' Mickey read the text in Ian's voice and groaned out loud. 

'Maybe.' Mickey replied feeling his cock start to swell. Which showed how long it had been since he'd done anything sexual because a few words were already getting him fucking going. 

'Tsk. I'm going to have to ask you to pull down your pants and bend over the desk, Mickey.' Mickey read. He needed to finish his cigarette and get somewhere safe to jack off. Ian sent another text before Mickey could respond. 'Is the thought of me spanking your ass cherry red getting you hard Mickey?'

Mickey was frozen. No one had ever spanked him but he'd be lying if he said he hadn't watched a shit ton of spanking porn in the past. 

'Yes sir,' Mickey typed without thinking. There wasn't enough blood left in his brain to think. In was all in his painfully hard cock. 

'Good. You're such a good boy Mickey. I can't wait to spank you and spank you until you're begging for me to stop and just fuck you. But first you need to tell me how much you want me.'

Mickey tripped over a pile of Yev's books and stubbed his toe as he stumbled into his room over eager to get his hand in his fucking pants. He stripped all his clothes off before answering Ian. 

'I want you so bad Ian. Please Ian. Please fuck me. I'll be good.' Mickey typed as fast as he could. 

'Since you're a good boy Mickey. I'll fuck you and after I come, I'll let you come,' Ian's text said. Mickey let out a raspy breath as he stared at the screen burning the words into his mind as he bit his bottom lip hard and finally let his hand work over his aching cock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay first, can I just say that I love Mickey wearing Ian's clothes. Like thank you Lord Jesus Christ Our Savior, amen. 
> 
> Second, Mickey's ringtone is the song I Choose You To Die by Starbomb and if you haven't heard it, please, PLEASE, go listen to it so you can fully understand the 2 minute horror Mickey suffered through in Ian's living room. >>> [Mickey's ringtone](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5dEiP8DZV8)
> 
> Third, shout out to gardenofblueroses on tumblr who i saw talking about this fic :D


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Putting out this little fluff of a chapter because I won't be on my computer to write until Monday at the earliest.

Friday. It didn't come fast enough until Mickey realized he was standing in front of Ian's door ringing the bell. The day had started as a wild ride. First Yev was eating breakfast and his loose tooth fell out and he swallowed it. Mickey had to tell him that no, he was not going to pick apart Yev's poop to find it and reassured him that the Tooth Fairy would still show up. 

Then Yev was running up to the school and tripped on his untied shoelace and scraped both his knees. He didn't cry much, but the sight of blood made him nauseated and he was still green when Mickey left him in the nurses office. But he hadn't gotten a call that Yev actually threw up, so he figured everything was okay. 

On his walk to work, he was on the phone with Mandy who decided she needed to give Mickey fucking kissing tips at 8 in the morning. He hadn't told her he'd already kissed Ian, but he knew the moment he did she'd never shut up. And he wasn't ready to make a big deal out of it. 

But Mandy _insisted_ that he be prepared since it was a second date and all. 

During work there was some huge power surge in one of the computer labs and it might as well have been a full blown disaster considering how much everyone was freaking out. It kept him busy, but didn't make the time pass any faster. 

But then he was at Ian's door. 

And Ian was opening the door. 

And smiling at him. 

And yeah he'd seen Ian yesterday, but it felt like ages ago. 

“Hey,” Ian said moving out of the way to let him inside. 

“Hey,” Mickey echoed and stood next to the counter. He knew what he _wanted_ to happen next, but didn't know how to make it happen? He made a sour face. Why was kissing so difficult? Like it _wasn't_ , but it was. 

“Wednesday seems like years ago,” Ian said. He'd said it yesterday when he'd seen Mickey too. Mickey nodded looking at Ian. 

And then at Ian's lips while silently pleading for Ian to kiss him. And kiss him before the fact that he was silently begging made him so embarrassed that he literally died in Ian's kitchen. 

But Ian kept fucking talking. He had to know he was torturing Mickey right? Like he knew he was being an asshole and rambling about how boring the bus ride home had been when he should just shut up and fucking kiss Mickey. 

Mickey was nodding and trying to focus on what Ian was saying about buying new laundry soap. HE WAS TALKING ABOUT FUCKING LAUNDRY SOAP. Which Mickey then realized he didn't want Ian to change because he liked that smell and associated it with Ian. 

Mickey cleared his throat, unable to last any longer. 

“What?” Ian asked. Mickey narrowed his eyes at the sly grin Ian gave him. 

“Are you going to spend the whole afternoon yapping or are you going to fucking kiss me?” Mickey grumbled. Ian's smile got bigger and he snaked his arms around Mickey's waist pulling him in close. 

“I was waiting for you to ask,” Ian murmured. Mickey looked away, blushing. 

“Fucker,” he muttered as Ian nuzzled the side of his head. He chuckled and Mickey sighed, giving in and turning his head so that he could kiss Ian. 

Mickey liked the way Ian's warm lips moved against his. He liked the feel of their noses mushed together. He liked feeling the little breaths Ian let out every time their lips parted slightly. Everything about kissing Ian was nearly intoxicating and made his lungs burn and heart thud. 

Ian pulled away pressing his forehead against Mickey's. “I hope sandwiches are okay. I need to go shopping,” he murmured. 

“Mmm, whatever is fine,” Mickey said turning his head to kiss Ian again. He wanted those lips on his for as long as possible. 

Which didn't last long because his stomach growled obnoxiously. Ian laughed and Mickey's ears burned.

“Always interrupting the moment, Mickey,” Ian laughed moving into the kitchen. “How's it go? Yo listen up, let me tell you a tale, about how Ash Ketchum got his ass sent to jail?”

“Please don't,” Mickey said weakly. He checked his phone to make sure it was on vibrate. Ian laughed again. 

“So what was the news you wanted to tell me in person?” Ian asked. Mickey leaned against the counter. 

“Well, you know how I had to go to that meeting at Yev's school yesterday?” Mickey asked. Ian nodded. “They want to put Yev into the accelerated reading program,” Mickey said proudly. The call from Yev's teacher was surprising since Mickey hadn't heard anything from Aubrey. Mickey was paranoid and worried and smoked three cigarettes on his way to the school. 

And then his teacher said she wanted Yev in the accelerated reading program. Like he was already doing harder reading in his class, but this was a special class. And Mickey tried to figure out how he, a dropout, and a Russian prostitute created such a smart kid. 

He'd been so proud that he wanted to tell Ian in person. 

“That's awesome, Mickey,” Ian said. Mickey beamed. “Is he excited?” 

“I think so. The little shit told me he was going to quote get smart in reading so he could read to me so I didn't have to continue to pretend I could read adult books end quote,” Mickey said rolling his eyes. Yev thought he was a fucking comedian or something. Ian laughed. 

“Tell him I can help teach you,” Ian said. 

“Ha fucking ha,” Mickey said sarcastically. Ian handed him his plate and they moved to the couch. 

“So you're going to Fiona's tomorrow,” Ian said. Mickey groaned. She had called to invite him and Yev over saying her kids and Liam were asking about Yev. Especially Liam which made her really happy as he avoided kids. 

“Yeah. Yev's excited. I'm scared,” Mickey admitted. He was scared because Ian was NOT going to be there and Mickey had to fend for himself. 

“You should be. I told her,” Ian reminded Mickey. He groaned again. 

“Between her, my sister, and fucking Cara who I work with, it's going to be like I'm getting grilled by the FBI, CIA, and I don't know the fucking Russians!” Mickey whined. 

“You'll be fine,” Ian laughed. Mickey rolled his eyes. 

“What are you even doing again?” Mickey asked. 

“Meeting for the school I work at with the other English teachers,” Ian reminded him. 

“On a Saturday?” Mickey complained. 

“I don't know. It was their idea since I miss most meetings because of class. It's cause I'm doing more than I probably should? I don't really know,” Ian said with a small laugh. Mickey groaned putting his empty plate down. “I'll make it up to you,” Ian said leaning over to nuzzle again him. Mickey sighed. 

“And how are you going to do that?” Mickey asked. Ian kissed his jaw. 

“I'll invite myself over for dinner on Sunday,” he murmured in Mickey's ear. 

“Mmm,” Mickey hummed. “I guess,” he said trailing off. Ian pulled Mickey down on his side and wiggled behind him until he was wrapped around Mickey as the protective big spoon. “What are you doing?” Mickey asked liking the way Ian was wrapped tightly around him. 

“Cuddling. We've got a little time,” Ian said softly rubbing Mickey's arm. Mickey sighed letting himself relax into Ian. 

He was warm and comfortable even though it was a tight squeeze on the couch. Mickey liked the way Ian had his head nuzzled against the back of his head. It was another moment he wanted to pause and stay in forever. 

“Don't change your laundry detergent,” Mickey said breaking the silence. 

“Hmm?”

“I like how it smells,” Mickey said shutting his eyes as he groaned inwardly. The words sounded dumb the moment they left his mouth. 

“Okay,” Ian said. Mickey could almost hear him smiling. He rolled his eyes. “And Mickey?”

“What?” he asked. 

“I like how you smell too,” Ian murmured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed and hope this tides you over until the next chapter which will hopefully be done by April 28th, but no promises. Excited for them to go to Fiona's without Ian though and dinner with Ian~


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally back!! Oh man super busy though so originally this chapter was going to be Saturday and Sunday, but it's only Saturday.

Mickey was chewing on his nails while he waited with Yev outside their apartment. Fiona was on her way to pick them up. Which Mickey was fine with. Totally fine. Perfectly fine. 100% fucking _fine_. 

But he couldn't stop biting his nails and pacing. Fiona was definitely going to bring up Ian. He didn't know how much she knew. He didn't want to know how much she knew. But he was afraid because she was like Mandy and wanted to know all the details. 

And he was sure she knew how to get him to talk. 

“I see the car!” Yev announced sprinting away from the corner to Mickey. He launched himself at Mickey who caught him with a grunt. He set Yev down and watched Fiona pull up to the curb. She was dressed for the 80 degree day. Mickey was not. 

“Hey,” she called and Mickey groaned inwardly. It was already awkward. 

“Hi,” he said weakly. Yev was already yanking the side door open. 

“Come on dad!” he shouted climbing into the van. 

“I'll put it in,” Fiona said taking the booster seat from Mickey. He nodded and went to get into the passenger seat. 

Yev requested his playlist be played on the ride to Fiona's house, so Mickey plugged in his phone and put the playlist on shuffle. To his dismay Coming Undone by Korn played first and Yev demanded it be left on. Mickey stared intently out the window trying to ignore that his son knew all the words and was singing with passion. He could tell Fiona found it amazing. 

The next song was worse. Mickey wanted to jump out of the car when Did I Say That Out Loud by the Barenaked Ladies started playing. It was like the music was mocking him. Like if he had to pick a song to describe how he felt about Ian, this would be it. And it was making him fucking blush and squirm and then Fiona was singing along same as Yev and he was going to die. The song was taunting him. It was like the song knew. 

His phone buzzed making him jump and nearly choke himself with the seat belt. He read the text from Ian and promptly ignored the song and Fiona's curious glances. 

'Good luck and remember to relax.' was Ian's text. All Mickey could think was how the fuck was he supposed to relax?? 

'Trying to' was all he sent back. And thank fucking god the song changed...

To Love Runs Out by One Republic and Mickey considered throwing his phone out the window. 

 

They arrived at Fiona's house a few songs later. It was a nice sized two story house with a nice front yard and front porch. “My husband is the gardener,” Fiona told Mickey as she let Yev out. 

“HI YEV!!!!!” came Elise's shrieking voice. Mickey looked up to where she was hanging out of a window on the second floor. 

“Oh my god Elise! Put the screen back now!!” Fiona shouted, hands on her hips. Elise disappeared back into the house. Fiona sighed. “I swear I need bars on the window or something,” she said shaking her head and ushering them to the front door. 

The inside of the house was how Mickey imagined it would be. Nice, but somewhat mismatch furniture in the living room, a dining room table covered in random items, and shoes stacked on the stairs. 

Mickey watched Yev look around. 'It's nice,' he signed to Mickey with a smile. 

“I'll go find Liam,” Fiona said as the pounding of little feet echoed upstairs and Elise came flying down the stairs. Ethan was close behind. She ran up to Yev and hugged him. 

“It took like eighty years for you to get here!” she announced. “DAD CAN WE HAVE POPSICLES NOW?” she bellowed taking Yev and leading him towards the kitchen. 

“JUST ONE!” Fiona shouted back. She reappeared with Liam in tow. He didn't look at Mickey. “Go in the kitchen and get a Popsicle,” she said softly to Liam. He nodded and went. “It's been really rough for him these first few weeks. His in a new school for 5th grade and it's not going well. It's a good school and the teachers are all nice, so are the kids in his class, but he's not comfortable. At least not yet. So when he asked if you and Yev could come over I almost cried,” Fiona said. Mickey understood that. 

“Hopefully it improves,” Mickey said knowing he hoped the same thing for Yev.

“Yeah, so do you want anything to drink? Did you eat? Do you want anything?” Fiona asked heading towards the kitchen while putting her hair up. 

“Um I guess just like coke?” Mickey asked. It was only 2 in the afternoon and yes he _could_ start drinking, but he wanted Fiona to think better of him. Because she was Ian's sister. 

Fiona fixed them drinks and lead Mickey out to the back deck. Edward waved from where he was gardening and the kids were on the swing set already immersed in some sort of game. 

“So how have things been with Yev? Ian said he got into a reading program?” 

“Yeah accelerated reading. He's smart somehow,” Mickey said with a shrug. Fiona smiled. 

“I know what you mean. Elise takes to math like a fish in water. And luckily her teacher lets her stand instead of trying to make her sit still. As long as she stands she's fine. In a chair she's a hot mess,” Fiona laughed. 

“And Ethan?” Mickey asked. He liked how easy it was to slip into conversation with Fiona. It was probably because it was about their kids and not his personal life with Ian, but still. He liked it. 

“He's getting really good at drawing. Both of them have amazing art skills, but Ethan is taking after his father. He's also talking more. We are working on Elise giving Ethan a chance to say something.”

“She sounds like a handful,” Mickey commented. Fiona laughed. 

“She's nothing I can't handle. I raised five siblings and I think they turned out okay. Well Carl we are still working on, but you can't win them all,” she sighed. “Like he can be good. He can be helpful and fun and everything. He helped a lot when he was little. But school wasn't his thing and it was hard. I finally had him tested for learning disabilities in seventh grade because he could barely read at his grade level. But then he started dealing then juvie. Although he did school work in juvie,” Fiona sighed again. “I just want him to finish high school.”

“Did you finish high school?” Mickey asked. Fiona shook her head. 

“Took my GED though and passed. Couldn't do much with it though. Had a kid too early and had my family and a whole bunch of shit. But I've taken a few classes. Did you finish?”

“No. Uh my sister is the only one in my family to finish high school. I eventually took my GED though,” Mickey told Fiona. It had been hard. He spent long nights with Mandy learning and studying. He failed the first time, but barely managed to pass the second time. And it'd been a fucking relief. 

“Well at least we turned out okay,” Fiona said with a soft smile. Mickey nodded looking over to where Yev and Liam were discussing something while on the swings. “So Ian said you guys are seeing each other,” she deadpanned. Mickey blushed. 

“I guess,” he choked out, unable to look at her. 

“I'm glad,” Fiona said. “Happy for him you know? These last few years were such a mess, so it's nice to see him settling into a normal routine. It's not all drugs and rich old guys,” Fiona told him. 

“So that's all true?” he asked. 

“I'm not going to sit here and tell you his story, but he worked at a gay club for awhile. Disappeared and that's where we found him.”

Mickey nodded. 

“Our mom is bipolar, so we kind of had an idea of what to look for, but we also had to learn Ian was different from her. They had similar tendencies, but it wasn't the same. No matter how much we wished it was,” Fiona said lighting a cigarette. “Bipolar wasn't just a thing you treated like a cold, same routine every time.” 

A thousand questions ran through Mickey's mind. He wanted to know more. He wanted to hear it from Ian, but he also wanted to know how everyone had dealt with it. He wanted to know because he wanted to try and understand that part of Ian and his life. 

“Did he ever like try to kill himself?” Mickey asked looking at Fiona. She exhaled and nodded slowly. Mickey felt his stomach twist into a knot. 

“It was... he said it was because he felt numb and he'd hurt himself before because he said he couldn't feel anything. So he hurt himself and fucking Liam found him,” Fiona said quietly. She shook her head and took another drag. Mickey pulled out his cigarettes. “It's better now though. That was in the early days,” she insisted. Mickey nodded lighting his cigarette.

“I've never been in a... relationship,” Mickey told her. The word relationship tasted weird in his mouth. He didn't know how he felt about it. 

“I think there's a lot of potential,” Fiona encouraged. “And I mean it. I think you're a good guy and good for Ian.”

While feeling extremely embarrassed, Mickey was really glad to hear Fiona say that. It made him happy. It made him confident. Like things with Ian were supposed to reach the point of more than friends. 

“Have you kissed yet?” she asked turning abruptly into Mandy. Mickey groaned. “Take that as a yes,” Fiona said with a grin. “Fucked yet?” 

“No!” Mickey snapped turning beat red. Fiona laughed. Mickey sucked anxiously at his cigarette.

“Well, word is Ian gives it good,” she said. 

“He's your brother,” Mickey said weakly. 

“Yeah and I know how and who they all fuck. Ian gives it to guys. Lip fucks girls except for those few times him and Nina get together with people and have orgies or something. I don't know if he's fucked or been fucked by a dude, but he's been blown by a dude. Nina said. Debbie has had three boyfriends. Carl casually fucks anyone with a pulse. Girl or guy,” Fiona explained. Mickey gaped at her. He had nothing to say. His brain had stopped working. Completely. “What?” Fiona shrugged. “You learn a lot when it's a small house and doors don't have locks.”

And okay like Mickey had walked in on his brothers fucking chicks or Mandy fucking some dude and he'd purposely made it so people would catch him with girls, but to be so open about it? 

Fiona laughed. “So does your sister know you are gay? And about Ian?” 

“Yeah,” Mickey said. He still remembered the day Mandy asked if he was gay. She'd been watching Romeo + Juliet and he'd gotten the worlds most awkward boner over Leonardo DiCaprio watching the sex scene. He tried to play it off, but Mandy said she'd wondered for awhile. At the time he'd hated saying it out loud that he was gay. Even now the words kind of scared him. But being away from people who hated people who were gay had helped a lot. “She doesn't know we... kissed,” Mickey whispered. Fiona nodded. 

“Well I'm rooting for you,” she said with a grin. “How did that song go? Anywhere you're gonna be that's where I wanna be,” she sang. Mickey groaned and buried his face in his hands. Fiona laughed. “I like you Milkovich. Bet you were some south side thug, but now you're this big softy with a cute kid and a good life,” she said to him. “Trust me, I felt the same thing. I was someone tough and now I can just be and things are okay. They aren't easy, but they are better than I ever thought they'd be.”

“Yeah,” Mickey said knowing exactly what she meant. He'd shed his past and now it was about moving forward. 

“Dad!” Yev shouted running up onto the deck with the others. “We are going upstairs, but dad we have to buy a back yard!” Yev exclaimed as the four of them disappeared into the house. He laughed with Fiona. 

\---------------------------------------------------------

'So you survived the afternoon with Fiona?' Ian texted Mickey later that night. 

'Yeah. After the heavy talk came the harassment, but in the end I still like her,' Mickey told Ian. He'd just put an exhausted Yev to bed. He hadn't wanted to leave, so Mickey had to promise another play date next weekend. He was pretty sure he could handle Fiona one on one again. 

Like yeah she kept singing to him and mocking him, but they also talked about other things. Parent things or how they missed going out to bars. Fiona really wanted to meet Mandy. Mickey thought that was a terrible idea. 

They discussed the music their kids were into. Fiona talked about the movies she'd seen a thousand times. Mickey told her about the mysterious case of Yev's wandering hearing aids. Which had been found neatly tucked into the rain boots in his closet that morning. She shared stories about when her and her siblings were younger. 

It had been really nice. 

'Good that makes me really happy. I can't wait to see you tomorrow.' Ian texted. Mickey felt a rush of excitement ripple through him as he typed back. 

'I'm happy too. See you soon.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone enjoyed the chapter! Also, if you haven't heard it, give [Did I Say That Out Loud](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uu1_B70pSGo) a listen. I think it's a perfect song for this story.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this has taken 1000 years to update lovlies! I've been distracted, but I hope to get back to updating more frequently.

It was hot. Even with air conditioning it was hot. Outside, the temperature was pushing 98 and the humidity had sky rocketed. It made Mickey lethargic. All he wanted to do was lie around and stare at the TV. The thought of standing was far from interesting, but of course he'd let Yev plan their meal and it involved a lot of standing in the kitchen. 

“Daaaaaaaaaaad!” Yev hollered from three feet away for the fifth time. Mickey groaned finally sitting up. He hadn't even gotten dressed and it was two in the afternoon. All he'd done was throw on a t-shirt with his boxers.   
\  
He noticed Yev had changed his clothes again. He was now in his coral red short and Buzz Lightyear shirt. Not too long ago he was in jean shorts and his aquarium t-shirt. 

And he only had one hearing aid. 

Mickey groaned. “Yev the point is to use both hearing aids,” Mickey grumbled pulling the kid out of the kitchen. 

“What?” he whined. 

“Hearing aid now,” Mickey directed. 

“I can hear fine,” Yev continued to whine. His room was a disaster zone. 

“Yev,” Mickey groaned going into the room and started picking up clothes.

“I was looking for this shirt. I found it by the washing machine,” he said sitting on his bed. 

“Hearing aid,” Mickey reminded him. 

“When is Ian coming?” Yev asked laying back on his bed. 

“Four thirty,” Mickey said opening the empty dresser draw. He rolled his eyes and picked up the missing hearing aid. “Put this on and help me clean up,” Mickey said. Yev groaned and dragged his feet as he walked over to Mickey. He took the hearing aid and put it on. 

“This is boring. I want to see Ian,” Yev whined laying on a pile of his clothes. 

“He'll be here soon,” Mickey told his son doing his best to act calm, cool, and collected. Because even though all he wanted to do was lie on the couch, he was filled with nervous energy and his mind wouldn't shut up. 

He'd woken in the middle of the night from a dream where Ian was fucking his mouth and it was so fucking perfect and no matter how much Mickey tried to push the dream to the back of his mind, he couldn't. Thank god he had at least woken up before he came in his underwear like a fucking teenager. 

But god did he want Ian to fuck him and kiss him and touch him and everything. Just everything. 

 

After putting all of Yevgeny's clothes away, he finally told Yev they could start cooking. Yev chose his cooking playlist which he'd created earlier and Mickey was slightly afraid to hear it. Luckily it started with Poker Face. 

Except like five seconds into the song it wasn't fine anymore. Mickey was taking stuff out of the fridge when the song yelled at him, _I'll get him hard, show him what I got_. And fuck that was EXACTLY what Mickey wanted to do. 

“Hurry up dad,” Yev called from the counter. Mickey forced himself back into reality and laid out the ingredients for an almost homemade pizza. Mickey got to work cutting up fresh vegetables from Fiona while Yev worked on flattening the dough. 

Judas by Lady Gaga was next. “Fiona said Elise is in love with Lady Gaga,” Mickey commented. Yev nodded. 

“And Liam likes this song too. He can do the dance in the video,” Yev said. “He's really good.” 

Fiona had told Mickey that Liam loved dancing and he was _really_ good, but he was too anxious to take classes. He'd only started showing Fiona and Edward some of his dances. Normally they were just for Elise and Ethan. 

“He wants to be in a dance crew too,” Yev added. “He says dancing is easier than talking. I know what he means. Sometimes what you want to say doesn't have words.” 

Mickey stared at his son. 

“What?” Yev asked. Mickey shook his head and took the dough to finish stretching it out. He was surprised at how philosophical? Yev had sounded. “Here I'll show you the part of the dance he taught me,” Yev said hopping off the chair and restarting the song. Mickey watched as Yev strutted and turned and shook his shoulders and hips. Mickey had no idea where Yev got his dancing ability because when Mickey danced he looked like a limp noodle. At least that's what Mandy called it.

He didn't dance. 

“Okay come back and help me,” Mickey said waving Yev over.

“Maybe if I go with Liam to a dance class he will do it. He showed me the secret which is counting. So that I stay in place,” Yev explained while spreading sauce on the crust. 

“We can talk to him and Fiona about it,” Mickey said. He was glad Yev had friends. Now he just needed friends at his school. Besides Aubrey. 

“We should have a dance party with Ian,” Yev said. 

“You can. I won't,” Mickey said handing him the cheese he'd grated. 

“But you played Just Dance with me,” Yev said pouting. 

“That was after I had a few drinks and your aunt was threatening me,” Mickey told him. Sadly he hadn't been drunk enough to forget the memory. 

Which was when he remembered doing Yev's rain dance with Ian and oh god that was a thing that happened and for some reason Ian still wanted to see him?? He felt his face grow hot. 

“It'd be fun though dad,” Yev whined putting pepperoni on the pizza. Mickey finished by putting green peppers on half the pizza. Yev would eat them raw, but not on food or cooked. 

Mickey put the pizza in the oven when the doorbell rang. He had a brief moment of panic because IAN WAS ALREADY THERE, but he calmed down and followed Yev to the door. 

“IAN!” Yev cried happily after pulling open the door. 

“Hey Yev,” Ian said happily while Mickey hung back. Ian was dressed in shorts and a tee, but was flushed and sweaty. He looked up at Mickey and smiled. “Hey.” 

“Hey,” Mickey said feeling like it had been ages since he saw Ian. He said a silent prayer of thanks that there wasn't obnoxious music playing at the moment and he pulled Yev out of the doorway so that Ian could come inside. 

“Dad you're in your underwear,” Yev said. Mickey stared at him. He then looked at Ian. Ian was smiling. Mickey was turning red. He was a fucking deer and the semi truck was crashing into him at full speed. He wondered how fast he could run and jump off the balcony. That was the fastest way to end the mortifying moment right He had no other choice.

Ian was saying something, but Mickey's ears and brain weren't working. He was instead slowly backing up towards his room like maybe if he moved slow enough they'd stop looking at him and he could go die in peace. 

He continued staring at them wide eyed until he'd disappeared into the safety of his room. 

And then he panicked. He started by lying face down on his bed and groaning loudly into the mattress. He'd completely lost track of time and forgotten he was in his FUCKING BOXERS. LIKE WHAT THE ACTUALLY FUCK. He continued to mentally scream at himself until he couldn't breathe. He sat up because the thought of smothering himself and having Ian find him dead in his boxers was extremely unappealing. 

So Mickey reluctantly got up and pulled on a pair of jeans. He took a few deep breaths, putting his cigarettes in his back pocket, and went back into the living room. Ian was listening intently to whatever Yev was saying. 

“Hey,” Mickey said voice cracking. Like apparently he couldn't fucking win. He briefly considered moving to Canada and changing his name to something like John Smith. 

“Yev was telling me about his day yesterday,” Ian said. 

“Yeah and how we are going apple picking with everyone!” Yev added loudly. Fiona had invited Mickey and Yev on their family outing to Wisconsin to apple pick. Yev was beyond thrilled and honestly, Mickey was excited too because he wanted to fill Yev's life with experiences he never had. Granted it wasn't that hard since Mickey had a rather lack luster up bringing, but the more opportunities they had the happier he was. 

“I'm glad you're coming with us,” Ian said to Yev and looked up at Mickey and smiled. 

It was just... it was too perfect right? Like Ian on the couch chatting with Yev while Mickey got dinner ready. Like he didn't even know how things had gotten to this point and it wasn't like Yev even knew they were seeing each other. 

And it was still so perfect... 

Okay besides the fact that Mickey had been in his fucking boxers when Ian arrived. 

“You should dance with us,” Ian said to Mickey. Yev was putting Judas back on. Mickey gave Ian a sarcastic look. 

“I don't dance,” he grumbled. Ian fucking _smirked_ at him. Rude. 

“Isn't that a song from High School Musical?” Ian asked. 

“Yeah the second one,” Yev said. “Dad and my aunt like Zac Efron.”

“Yeeeeeeev,” Mickey groaned. 

“Here's the song I Don't Dance,” Yev said pressing play. Ian grinned at Mickey. Yev sang along. Mickey held Ian's gaze. They were not about to fucking sing a song from HSM2 together. Even if he knew the words. And Ian apparently knew the words. He was not about to be fucking Corbin Blu and sing a duet with Ian!!!

“Hey batter, batter, hey batter, batter swing,” Ian sang eyes still locked with Mickey's. Mickey gulped. Like what the actual fuck was his life right now? It had gone from awkward to bizarre. 

Thank god the song ended without the living room turning into the set of a musical. Like thank every god out there. 

“Yev turn the music down, it's time to eat,” Mickey said gratefully. He was rather proud of the pizza and hoped Ian liked it. 

 

While they ate, Ian talked about his meeting on Saturday and how he felt like a proper teacher. Yev retold stories of what he'd done with Elise, Ethan, and Liam the other day. He said he wanted to go to a dance class with Liam. Ian really liked that. 

Mickey mostly listened to them talk loving how open Yev was with Ian. Just how much more open and talkative Yev was being in general was nice. So many nights had been spent with Mickey reassuring Yev that his voice was fine and normal. He was glad he'd found people that paid no attention to that while still curious about sign language. Fiona joked that her kids were going to be fluent since Elise had picked out a video on sign language out of the library. As well as a beginning Spanish one because her new friend was from Puerto Rico. 

 

After dinner they sat on the couch and watched Toy Story. Yev was pretty sure he wanted to be Buzz Lightyear for Halloween. Last year he had been Spiderman and the year before that he'd been Pikachu. He hadn't even know what Pokemon was yet. And when her was younger Mandy dressed him. He was a peapod for his first Halloween, then a cowboy, and a dinosaur at age three. 

“What are you doing to be for Halloween?” Ian asked Mickey. He laughed. 

“I don't dress up. Never have and never will,” Mickey huffed. Ian raised an eyebrow. Mickey knew that look. It was the I'm going to change that look. 

And it kind of made him all hot and bothered and he had to shift uncomfortably in his seat. 

“What about you?” Mickey asked. 

“I don't know. Fiona wants to do a theme this year, but I don't know,” he said with a shrug. Thousands of ideas flashed through Mickey's mind. Ian would make anything attractive. Except maybe a Teletubbie. “She wants to do Avengers I think.”

“Elise wants to be Ironman,” Yev said. Ian nodded. 

“She's had her mind set for a long time. Last year she was Spiderman dressed as Thor. So you never know with her. She's all about mash ups apparently,” he laughed. It made a lot of sense. 

 

Ian stayed until after Yev was asleep, but he had to cut the night short because they both had to get up in the morning. 

“I really enjoyed tonight,” Ian said. They were just outside the front door so that Yev couldn't spy on them even though he was sound asleep. Mickey was still super paranoid. 

“Wednesday?” Mickey asked hopefully. Ian nodded. 

“Wednesday,” he murmured and closed the space between them. He bent down so that he was whispering in Mickey's ear. “God the things I want to do to you Mick. It's so hard to resist. I want to see more pictures of you fucking yourself open for me. I want to see you all flushed and begging for my cock,” he groaned. Mickey took a shaky breath already half hard. 

“I will,” he whispered licking his lips. Ian hummed and nipped Mickey's ear before turning his head and pressing his lips to Mickey's. He kissed him hard, keeping Mickey trapped. Mickey leaned into the kiss never wanting Ian's hot lips to leave his own. 

But they needed to breath. Mickey gulped in air when Ian pulled back. 

“Wednesday,” Ian murmured against Mickey's lips.

“Wednesday,” Mickey repeated. Ian smiled, giving Mickey one more kiss before he turned to head for the elevator. 

Mickey watched him go as he stood panting against the door. He had never wanted to fuck so badly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I had to resist the strong urge to make Mickey and Ian break out into a full blown I Don't Dance duet. Perhaps it'll happen at a later point...


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND I'M BACK!! So sorry it's taken so long lovelies. Also sorry that this is a bit of a heavy chapter to come back to. This chapter does contain mentions of rape and suicide BUT there will be a page break/warning before hand, so people can still enjoy the first half of the chapter. I will also summarize the end of the chapter in the end comments for people who choose to skip the second half where the trigger warnings apply. 
> 
> Hope everyone still enjoys this story!

Mickey hated himself. He didn't know who he was anymore. He was a stranger. He looked at his actions and was certain he'd fallen victim to some weird alien brain swapping experiment. 

All he did was listen to stupid loves songs now. He used smileys freely in his texts. He woke up every morning with a smile on his face. 

So yeah when he said he hated himself, it wasn't exactly true. He just never thought he'd be the poor bastard actively listening to You and I by Ingrid Michaelson. And yeah he could blame Yev for putting the song on his phone, but he was 100% guilty of searching for it and pressing play. More than once. Like he listened to it a lot and it disgusted him. 

Mandy thought it was great. She loved every moment of Mickey's downfall and suffering. She soaked it up like it was a bad soap. Although she was as impatient as Mickey was regarding the lack of sex. It wasn't something he wanted to bring up with his sister, but he was starting to worry. He told her that Ian and him seemed to be on the same page, but it never progressed. Mandy suggested he bring it up with Ian, but Mickey was too afraid to blurt out why aren't we fucking. 

Mandy's next idea was to discuss it with Fiona since she probably had insight. Mickey had horror flashbacks about Fiona rambling about her siblings sex lives. Sure that meant it was probably easy to talk to her, but at the same time she was Ian's fucking sister and she already knew too much. Mickey could guarantee that she'd know the moment they fucked. 

He wasn't sure how he felt about that. 

Actually no, he was fine with it. He was fine with Fiona. It was Mandy who'd harass the living hell out of him. So he really shouldn't worry. 

 

“When are they coooooooooming?” Yev groaned mushing his face against the screen door. Mickey took the cigarette from between his lips. 

“Like an hour,” Mickey said with a yawn. Yev had been up at 6 and lucky Mickey had convinced him to preoccupy himself until 8, but they were leaving at 10:30 for apple picking. “Did you change again?” Mickey asked squinting at him through the screen. 

“Only my pants,” Yev said. He was wearing dark green shorts with his Spider-man shirt. 

“Mmm.” Mickey finished the cigarette and went inside. “Why do you keep changing?” he asked grabbing Yev's head to check for hearing aids. Changing usually meant they disappeared, but surprisingly they were still there. 

“My other shorts don't have good pockets,” Yev explained climbing over the back of the couch. 

“What's a good pocket?” Mickey asked. He'd never heard the complaint before. 

“I have to keep my things in my pocket like you,” Yev said. Mickey raised his eyebrows. 

“Like what?” he asked. Yev groaned and stood up on the couch. He pulled his velcro Ironman wallet out, a pack of gum, a plastic magnifying glass, and a key to a bike lock Mandy lost years ago and was now attached to three of Yev's key chains. “Oh,” Mickey said as Yev shoved it all back in his pockets. 

“But don't worry dad. I only have five dollars in my wallet. The rest is in the spot,” Yev told him flopping back down on the couch. The spot was an old cigar box placed in an old Candyland box in Yev's closet. Mickey had to pretend not to know about. It was almost hidden in Yev's mattress but thank god he caught him with the scissors before that disaster happened. Hiding the money was definitely a Milkovich quality Yev had been born with.

“Good boy,” Mickey said ruffling Yev's hair while Yev swatted him away. 

 

Okay now Mickey actually truly hated his life. Like fuck being an alien experiment, he was now under going cruel and unusual punishment in the form of the gorgeous man he was seeing was currently sitting next to him belting out the lyrics to What I Like About You along with the rest of the car while Mickey tried to non-nonchalantly blush which was fucking impossible. Like the song started and Ian got that look in his eye and Mickey had to figure out if he could safely eject himself from the car on the high way.

The song started and the car erupted like Mount Vesuvius and now Mickey was drowning in lava. 

And what made it worse was Ian could get away with that shit because everyone was singing like Fiona kept yelling for Mickey to sing, but he was too fixated on Ian's lips and the fucking lyrics that were spilling out of them. 

It was like Ian was, yet again, desperate to sing a duet with Mickey like they were in some kind of fucking musical! And what was worse was the words were literally on the tip of Mickey's tongue. He wanted to say them too, but he ground his teeth together resisting the urge to sing to Ian. 

The song was literally the longest thing in Mickey's life and it was starting to make him all hot and... thank fuck the song was over. Like hallelujah praise the lord because Mickey had been on the verge of a heart attack or death by spontaneous combustion or some shit. 

“I love that song,” Ian said casually as the music switched to something Disney related. 

“Yeah,” Mickey said weakly. “Yeah.”

Ian grinned and Mickey had to look away. 

 

The apple orchard looked exactly how Mickey expected. Rows of trees and groups of people chatting and moving through the aisles casually picking apples. The picked a spot and unloaded. Mickey had gotten a small bag for him and Yev. 

“Make sure they don't have holes,” Mickey said to Yev who wasn't listening. Mikey rolled his eyes and waved his hand in front of Yev's face until Yev scowled. 

“What?” he barked. 

“Make sure the apples don't have holes,” Mickey said and signed as he spoke. Yev rolled his eyes and ran to join Elise and Ethan. Well stand with Ethan because Elise was half way up a tree already. And Fiona was yelling. 

Ian stood next to Mickey. “Let's pretend not to know her,” Ian murmured. Mickey laughed. 

Apple picking was nice. They walked leisurely through the orchard chatting about work and TV. The talked about growing up on the South Side and how they never imagined to be doing this in their wildest dreams. Mickey sent Mandy pictures. Ian showed Mickey's pictures of Lip's new baby Lucie. Laila and Lucie, Mickey liked it a lot. 

“Do you want kids in the future?” Mickey asked Ian even though he knew the answer was yes. 

“Of course!” Ian said. “I've always wanted a big family of my own. Maybe not as big as my own, but I think I could do three or four kids. What about you? Or is Yev enough?”

“I never really thought about it,” Mickey admitted. The first one had been extremely traumatizing, but say he was with Ian... he could possibly see himself adopting another kid. 

Mickey stopped. 

“What?” Ian asked. 

“Later... later can we... talk about something?” Mickey choked out. He needed Ian to know everything before he had more terrifying thoughts about having kids with Ian. 

“Is everything okay?” Ian asked softly looking concerned. Mickey didn't know what to say. Actually he felt like he was going to vomit. 

“I... I think I'm going to go back to the car. Watch Yev for me okay?” Mickey said weakly. Ian slowly nodded. 

“Text me if you need something,” Ian said. “Okay?”

“Yeah, yeah of course,” Mickey said turning around. The middle of an apple orchard wasn't the place for this kind of conversation. A conversation that needed to be had. 

Mickey sat in the shade by a tree. He took some deep breaths before calling Mandy.

_Why the fuck are you calling me?_

“Mandy...” Mickey nearly sobbed. 

_What? What the fuck is going on? Mickey! Talk to me!_

“I'm – I'm going to tell Ian about the last few years,” Mickey said, voice cracking. He rubbed a hand over his face. He wasn't about to cry in a fucking apple orchard. 

_Mickey –_

“I want to,” he said cutting her off. As fucked up and traumatic and terrible the past had been, he needed to share it. “I just don't want him to hate me,” Mickey whispered. 

_Mick... we've been over this. The relationship you have been able to build with Yev is a testament to how fucking strong you are. You didn't have to. There were outs. But you decided to move on from it and Ian will see that. No one can blame you for what happened._

“I know,” Mickey said quietly. “I know.” And he did. He knew Ian wouldn't be repulsed by the dark stain on Mickey's past. But there was still fear in telling all of it to people. Only Mandy and the therapist knew everything. 

_It'll be okay, Mickey. I swear. And if not I'll be your personal hit man._

Mickey laughed. “Nah with your life style now you've gotten soft.”

_Are you fucking saying that I can't kill a man?_

Mickey laughed harder as Mandy made appalled noises. 

_Better fucking watch your ass Milkovich._

“Yeah, yeah I'm shitting my pants,” Mickey laughed and hung up the phone. He sighed, staring up at the sky. It was going to be a shitty evening, but talking to Mandy helped. 

 

“Dad, you sure you're feeling better?” Yev asked concern all over his face. Mickey sighed. 

“Yes I sat in the shade and drank some water,” Mickey told him for the thousandth time. They were all eating their picnic lunch. Ian had told Yev that Mickey had gotten over heated before and Mickey was thankful. 

“You should wear shorts or lighter colors,” Yev told him. 

“Eat your food,” Mickey replied. He wasn't that hungry himself, but he was eating so not to worry Yev. They'd decided to go to Fiona's house for dinner. Ian had offered to go get food with Mickey so that they could have alone time to talk. Everyone was on board with the plan. 

“Okay so back to Halloween plans,” Fiona said. “It's custom that us adults do something after trick or treating with the kids.”

“At the bar my sister works at, well club, they have a party. Free Halloween themed drinks if you have a costume,” Mickey brought up. Although he didn't know why. He didn't want everyone to meet Mandy. He never wanted anyone to meet Mandy. It was bad enough that Ian had met her. 

“Now that is what I'm talking about,” Fiona said happily. Mandy always invited Mickey, but he'd always told her to drop dead. “What's a good six person group costume?” 

“Power Rangers!” Yev announced. Fiona grinned. Mickey wanted to crawl in a hole. He was going to be expected to run around in spandex? In public? In front of his sister? 

“Yes!” Fiona agreed. 

“I get to be the black ranger though,” Edward said. “Is there a black ranger?” 

“Duh dad!” Elise said rolling her eyes. “Don't you know anything?” she asked. He reached over and tickled her. 

“Lip will want to be the red ranger. Are you okay with that Ian? You two used to fight over it,” Fiona said. 

“Yeah it's fine,” Ian said quickly. Mickey watched Ian blush and he snickered. Ian narrowed his eyes at Mickey who shrugged. 

“Ian and Mickey can be green and blue respectively,” Fiona said. “I'll be the yellow ranger and Nina can be pink. Oh god we can all go shopping this is going to be great!” Fiona squealed. 

“This is her forte,” Ian murmured to Mickey. “Although it'll never be as bad as when we did Scooby Doo and I had to be Scooby Doo.”

“Please tell me there are pictures,” Mickey asked. Ian whined. 

“There are a ton,” Fiona said gleefully. Ian whined more as Mickey laughed. 

 

****************** [tw mentions of rape and suicide. skip to end comments for a summary] *************************

Mickey wished the day had stayed light and airy. The weather was beautiful, the kids zonked out in the car on the way home, it was such a nice day and Mickey was about to ruin it. Ruin everything probably. He picked his nails as Ian parked the car at the back of the parking lot at the grocery store. 

He knew he just had to spit the word out, but he hated everything about it. Ian cut the engine and looked at Mickey who couldn't make eye contact. He shifted in his seat before lighting a cigarette. Ian waited. 

Mickey took a long drag and exhaled slowly. He looked at Ian and then at his feet. The sentence was caught in his throat choking him. 

“I was raped,” he forced himself to say. It made his stomach churn. It took a long time for him to accept that was what happened. “My dad, he caught me with a guy... then forced a prostitute to fuck me until I was straight...” Mickey said miserably. “Like correctional rape or something,” Mickey muttered taking another drag. “She got pregnant and I was forced into marriage. But then my dad went back to jail, so I tried my best to never be home. The baby was born and all it did, he did, was cry. It was Mandy who finally took him to the clinic. The bitch was never home. Always working,” Mickey said bitterly still focusing on his feet. “Mandy told the bitch there was a problem with the baby and she disappeared. I didn't stop drinking and Mandy said she'd take it, him, to a fire station or something and be done with him,” Mickey continued. “But I mean he didn't ask to be born... I didn't know what I wanted, so Mandy said if a blood test proved the baby was mine then she'd take care of him.” Mickey sighed heavily. It was after that when things got blurry. “I just hated myself so much. Started doing coke. Finally tried to... tried to... to hang... die,” Mickey sobbed. 

He felt Ian's hand on his shoulder. 

“I was in the hospital for awhile taking to a therapist and all that,” Mickey sniffled. “Mandy said she was going to give the baby up for adoption, but again I tried to explain that wasn't what I wanted. I didn't want to look at him, but I didn't want to think of him, a little disabled kid, in the system. I was medicated for awhile and forced to get my GED so I could take computer classes and get a job. I didn't associate Yev with the... rape... really. I didn't even associate him with that bitch. Everything was just overwhelming at that time. But as I worked, I started to like hearing him and Mandy in the kitchen or the living room. We couldn't afford hearing aids, so when he was about 3 I started teaching myself sign. I still didn't spend time with him unless I was with Mandy going shopping or something. But somewhere around his fourth birthday... my therapist asked if I was going to get him a present and I decided that I was. I got him this Rainbow Fish book that I remembered from when I was a kid. And that's when it kind of all clicked. My mom split, my dad was shit, my relatives were shit, and Yev didn't ask to be born. No kid does. And I couldn't bring myself to be a piece of shit. It took a few years, but now I'm happier then I ever could have thought. Again I don't associate him with what happened, he just showed up during that time. Like the therapist really pushed to give the baby up, but he was just some tiny blob who didn't know what happened. And I understand why no one would want to keep a baby who was a product of... rape. But,” Mickey paused and finished his cigarette. “I think it's cause I didn't carry him or deliver him or anything. He just appeared in my life. My therapist said it was a situation he'd never seen before, but he believed it could work. And here we are.”

There was silence after he finished, but he expected that. People, not even him, understood why he wanted Yev by his side. At least not completely. He cherished every moment though, thankful he could give the kid a better life than he ever had. And he was extremely grateful for Mandy and everything she did. She worked non-stop and cared for Yev and made sure Mickey was alive. Everything she had in her life now, she deserved.

“I'm glad you made it to this moment right here,” Ian finally said. Mickey looked at him. Ian's eyes were glassy. “I don't know what to say other than I'm glad we are sitting here right now, together. You and Yev have brought so much to my life theses past few months. Someone like you... well I didn't think I'd find you and not at the park,” Ian laughed. Mickey felt his eyes burn with threatening tears. “Wow I know I'm being gross and sappy, but the past made you into this person sitting with me here and I'm so happy for that.”

Mickey bowed his head, wiping his eyes. 

“I've been in that dark spot, obviously for different reasons, but fuck Mickey, we survived and here we are sitting together crying like a bunch of saps,” Ian said sniffling. Mickey finally laughed. Like a huge weight was lifted and he was free. He was finally free of the claws that tried to rip apart his life. He looked at Ian and gave him a small smile. Ian smiled back, taking Mickey's hand and squeezed it. 

“Now we just need some 80s love song to make the moment,” Mickey said taking a deep breath. He wiped his eyes, watching Ian fiddle with the radio for a moment. 

And then Africa by Toto was filling the car and Mickey just shook his head as Ian laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so to summarize, Mickey tells Ian about how he was raped by Svetlana at his fathers command and tail spun into depression and drug use. Mandy was taking care of Yev because Svetlana left and tried to convince Mickey to give him over to adoption, but Mickey refused although he did not interact with Yev. He got a blood test to confirm Yev was his. Eventually Mickey attempted suicide, but ended up in the hospital with a therapist and depression meds. Through therapy he came to terms with what happened, got his GED, took computer classes, got divorced, and finally decided he wanted to be in Yev's life because he never associated Yev with everything that happened. Ian says he's so happy that Mickey made it so that they were both sitting together having the conversation. They cried and Africa by Toto played.
> 
> I'm going to do my best to get back into regular updates!! Thanks for surviving the wait! Up next is Halloween and it's going to get rather steamy~


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for some Halloween shenanigans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So where to begin? I last updated this fic on August 1st, 2015, so it's been over two years. I didn't know if I'd ever come back to this fic, but I had a dream that I updated this fic and then had the urge to reread it all and that lead to this update. I tried my best to keep the rhythm and vibe the same, but my writing style has changed a bit in two years. haha. I hope everyone still finds it enjoyable because I'm happy to be writing this again. I have a few more updates planned, but basically everything with this fic is up in the air. Thank you to the people who have asked about this fic over the last two years and thank you to those that'll start reading now. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter!! 
> 
> Warning for suicide attempt mentions/talk about depression and mania.

Halloween snuck up on Mickey. Sure, Yev talked about the upcoming holiday none stop, but Mickey was living in the moment. He was thinking about the afternoons he’d spend with Ian eating lunch and the weekends they’d spend taking Yev to the movies or to the library.

Yev had taken it upon himself to help Mickey and Ian decorate their apartments since he claimed they had a complete disregard for the holiday. Mickey didn’t even know Yev _knew_ words like disregard.

But that was the accelerated reading program.

So, now Mickey felt like he had pumpkins and ghosts and skeletons coming out of his ass. Growing up, his family had a Christmas tree, but that was it. And yeah, Mickey was trying to make more of a celebratory effort for Yev, but he never thought he’d own half of Walmart’s Halloween section.

And then Yev had conveniently invited Ian over to carve pumpkins.

Mickey wasn’t _mad_ about it, but the whole cute-little-family-esqe stuff still freaked Mickey out. Even after an official month on officially dating which was terrifying to realize. Mickey had no idea where an entire month had gone. An entire fucking month.

And Ian wasn’t bored of him.

None of the Gallagher’s were.

It was the opposite. Sleepovers at Fiona’s. Dinner’s with the family. Going to Lip’s house to see the new baby Lucie.

Sometimes Mickey felt like he needed time to slow down for a moment so that he could catch his fucking breath, but at the same time he didn’t want any of it to stop. Ever. He was the happiest he’d ever been in his entire life.

And sure, in the back of his mind was the nasty voice saying that this was when something bad HAD to happen. Ian would get bored of him or maybe Mickey would fuck up… but he was doing his absolute fucking best to ignore that nasty voice.

He’d even discussed his insecurities, well very few of them, with Ian in attempt to be reassured that everything was going well and that they were on the same page.

Ian said there was nothing to worry about.

“I get the biggest one,” Yev barked at Mickey for the hundredth time. They were covering the counter with newspaper for pumpkin carving. Ian had text that he was on his way over.

Yev draped his body over the pumpkins, rubbing them like they were animals. Mickey rolled his eyes, getting a knife out of the drawer.

When the doorbell rang, Yev bounced to the door and flung it open with a cheerful, “IAN!”

“Yev! The entire complex doesn’t need to hear you!” Mickey called as he heard the door shut. He turned to see Yev pulling Ian in by the hand. Yev still didn’t know they were together, but he sure acted like Ian belonged there.

Mickey was working up the courage to explain it to Yev and decided he would after Halloween. Things were going good, so he deserved to know.

Ian grinned at Mickey as he picked up the pumpkins and put them on the counter.

Fuck, Mickey wanted to kiss him. Badly.

Instead, he smiled back. “Yev said he’d draw the faces and then we get to cut them out,” Mickey explained. Ian nodded, digging a knife into the top of Yev’s pumpkin.

“Sounds good. Are they going to be scary?” Ian asked Yev. Yev nodded.

“My costume came in the mail today, too!” Yev told Ian excitedly. At the last minute, he decided he wanted to be Starlord.

“So, did yours too?” Ian asked Mickey. Mickey felt his cheeks heat.

“Yes, it did,” he mumbled. He’d seen Ian in his green ranger costume and he looked amazing. Mickey tried his on and cursed who ever invented fucking spandex because that shit was NOT for everyone.

“I wanna see before tomorrow,” Ian said making a face that Mickey knew what he’d rather be seeing. Mickey turned pinker and hacked into his pumpkin.

“Elise is going to be a space pirate and Ethan is going to be Spiderman,” Yev told them. Ian nodded along.

“They are excited for tomorrow and getting candy,” Ian said. After they took the kids trick-or-treating, Yev would stay with Fiona’s kids at her house with a babysitter while they went out for a wild night of adult fun.

Fiona sent a lot of winks Mickey and Ian’s way whenever she said the words adult fun.

It caused Mickey to need lots of cigarettes.

 

 

When the pumpkins were carved and on display on the balcony, Mickey and Ian stood outside with beer while smoking. It was cold, but it was supposed to be relatively pleasant for trick-or-treating. Mickey glanced behind them where Yev was watching on ocean program on TV.

“I wanted to warn you that the upcoming holidays are hard for me and most of my family,” Ian said exhaling smoke slowly.

“Fiona mentioned a bit about that. Said it was a number of things starting from when you were little,” Mickey said. He watched Ian scratch at the railing.

“I tried to kill myself once in the fall, when Fiona wasn’t around. It’s why I was hospitalized the first time. Debbie called,” Ian said softly. Mickey passed his cigarette to Ian. “I dropped out and went on this wild two years of highs and lows as I fell apart. I don’t remember much, but I had to go into the hospital once at Thanksgiving because I was so manic. And then again on New Years because of drugs and another suicide attempt. A bad one… Liam found me bleeding out while no one was home,” he whispered. Mickey slid a hand over where Ian was gripping the railing.

He soothed his cold fingers over Ian’s knuckles and then closed his hand awkwardly over Ian’s. Ian looked at him, eyes wet and looking lost. It twisted Mickey’s insides up and made his throat dry. ‘

“I wish I could take the pain away,” Mickey said quietly. Fiona had mentioned that, awhile back, their mom had also tried to kill herself during Thanksgiving dinner. Mickey had a lot of things he wanted to say, but none of the words felt like enough. “When I was in therapy for a while, I was told to make new better memories where the bad ones were,” Mickey finally said.

Ian let go of the railing and turned his hand over so that he and Mickey were palm to palm, and interlaced their fingers. “My therapist says that too. It’s just hard when you don’t feel like you’re in control,” Ian said with a sigh. He pulled out a new cigarette and let Mickey light it for him. “I’m sorry to bring this all down after we had a good night,” Ian added. Mickey shook his head.

“It’s okay. I want to know everything that’s going on with you. Good or bad,” Mickey told him. “And I mean, I only try with holidays for Yev, but I’ll try to make them good for you too.”

He saw a smile grace Ian’s lips and he felt his stomach flutter.

And Mickey knew what that meant. What the feelings inside him meant. All the swirling and fluttering. He knew _exactly_ what his body was telling him and he forced himself to save the panic for later.

“You’ve already got the caroling down,” Ian said with a laugh, passing Mickey the cigarette. His eyes no longer looked lost and Mickey was relieved. He liked the way they sparkled when he smiled instead.

“Shut the fuck up,” Mickey muttered taking a long drag and feeling his ears heat. Ian just laughed and squeezed Mickey’s hand. He then pulled it to his lips and kissed Mickey’s tattooed knuckles with a delicate gentleness that Mickey longed to feel over his ENTIRE body.

“Is it okay if I end up calling you in the middle of the night?” Ian asked. Mickey nodded automatically.

“I mean, I might be sleeping or answer and be half asleep, but I want to be someone you know you can rely on,” Mickey said looking away and feeling stupid.

“I already know I can rely on you, Mickey,” Ian said, tugging Mickey’s hand until Mickey looked at him.

“What?” Mickey asked, stubbing out the cigarette. Ian smiled and shrugged.

“I just like being here with you,” he said and if that didn’t melt Mickey’s insides into an ooey-gooey puddle…

 

=========================================================

 

“AHHHHHHH!” Yev screamed at Mickey as they finally, _finally_ , made their way down the elevator to meet Fiona outside. Yev had been ready to go since nearly 7 AM. Waiting until 3 had almost killed Yev and Mickey. If Mickey had to hear the spooky scary skeletons song one more time he was going to jump out the window.

Ian met them at the door, helping Mickey carry everything. He’d be staying the night at Fiona’s too. He didn’t want to impose, but she’d insisted and said there was plenty of room.

“Someone’s excited,” Ian laughed, nodding to Yev. Mickey rolled his eyes.

“He can’t wait for all the free candy,” Mickey said.

“All Halloween makes me think of is getting high and egging houses,” Ian said. Mickey nodded.

“Bashed quite a few car mirrors too,” he added.

“Sounds about right.” Ian said as they climbed into the minivan. Mickey knew he couldn’t completely keep Yev away for shit like he’d done, but fuck if he wasn’t going to try to. He wanted Yev to do after school activities and volunteer and finish high school and want to go to college. If he had to break a few, literal, eggs then whatever, but Mickey was not going to stand around and watch him throw his life away. Fuck that shit.

 

After taking a ton of pictures of the kids in their costumes, they were ready to head out. Fiona had her trusty wagon, which Ethan wanted to sit in, and in her wagon, was a cooler full of beer. Mickey approved.

The neighborhood was already crawling with kids. Elise seemed to know a lot of them because she tended to scream hello across the street. Liam had come with them, but didn’t go up to the houses. He was dressed as Luke Skywalker.

Fiona and Edward tried to convince Liam to go with the kids, but he just shook his head. Elise said she’d share with him though. Yev chimed in about sharing as well. That made Mickey smile.

They walked down the streets, watching the kids run, and a few beers in, Mickey had a weird urge to hold Ian’s hand. Which made him immediately panic and shove his hands deep in his pockets. Even when everyone knew, Mickey Milkovich was NOT the kind of person who _held hands._ He wasn’t living in some kind of romantic movie! Even if Ian had asked him out for coffee on Monday.

Mickey did not hold hands. He did not. Did not. Did not. Did not.

But fuuuuuuuck did he want to. Ian’s hands were big and warm. His fingers were long and calloused. His nails were neatly trimmed even though Mickey had seen him chewing on his thumb before. His hands were scared and beautiful and fuck Mickey wanted them everywhere.

Mostly in his hand though.

“What are you thinking about?” Ian asked, snapping Mickey out of his thoughts. Mickey stared at him for a moment trying to think of something to say.

His mind was blank though.

And he knew he looked like a damn fool gaping at Ian.

 

“Nothing,” he finally breathed out. Ian smirked, pulling out his phone and typing something.

Mickey was not surprised when his phone buzzed.

‘Well I’m thinking about later tonight…’ Ian’s text read. Mickey swallowed before typing, ‘What about tonight?’

He watched Ian casually take out his phone and answer, calm as could fucking be. While Mickey, on the other hand, could feel his heart beating in his goddamn throat.

His phone buzzed.

‘I’m going to take you into the bathroom and I’m going to peel you out of that suit and suck you off while you beg me to come over the roar of the music.’ Ian’s text said.

Mickey nearly passed out. He looked at Ian and Ian just smirked. He walked slower, pulling back from the group. Mickey matched his pace.

Ian leaned in close so that his breath tickled Mickey’s ear.

“I’ve wanted you so bad,” he said in a low voice. “Wanted you naked in my arms for so long. Wanted to do everything to you…” he said lewdly. Mickey gulped. He was so turned on. “We finally have a chance tonight and I’m going to take it if you let me,” he practically groaned in Mickey’s ear.

“I want you,” Mickey breathed feeling hot and tight. He wanted to jump Ian in the middle of the fucking street.

“Good,” Ian whispered in his ear before he squeezed Mickey’s ass.

“Fuck,” Mickey grunted. He had to shut his eyes before he exploded. Ian laughed quietly next to him.

Mickey exhaled slowly before opening his eyes and looking at Ian. He just grinned. Mickey narrowed his eyes at him before pulling out his cigarettes. Ian held his hand out for one. Mickey obliged.

And then they slowly rejoined the group only to get stared down at Fiona.

Mickey wasn’t dead yet, but he was sure he’d be dead by the end of the night.

 

Mickey sat with Yev on the floor of Elise and Ethan’s room. He was tucked into a spare SpongeBob sleeping bag with Nemo and looking at Mickey through half closed eyes. They’d let the kids go through their candy and eat some when they’d gotten back to Fiona’s house.

‘I like your costume,’ Yev signed as he yawned.

‘Thanks,’ Mickey signed with a smile.

‘Lola has your phone number right?’ he asked. Mickey nodded. Lola was the babysitter.

‘And I won’t be gone long,’ Mickey signed. Yev nodded, yawning again. Mickey leaned forward to kiss him on the forehead. ‘I love you.’ He signed.

‘I love you too,’ Yev signed back. Mickey gave him another hug before getting up. Ian was in the doorway smiling. Mickey flipped him off, but Ian kept smiling as he followed Mickey downstairs.

Now it was time for a little pregaming while they waited for their Uber. Mickey was feeling jittery. Knowing the night had so many possibilities had him chomping at the bit.

Sure, bathroom sex wasn’t the best or romantic or anything. But their lunch breaks were too short and otherwise Yev was always around. So, Mickey wasn’t going to complain about bathroom sex.

But fuck it was going to happen.

It was finally going to happen.

He’d been fucking dreaming about it since day one.

Ian came up to Mickey taking his hand. He looked at Mickey with a knowing grin. Mickey smiled back before finishing the last of his drink. Yeah, it was going to be a great night.

 

The bar club was packed and Mickey didn’t want to go inside. Everyone and their brother was dressed up, but he felt like he was the only one in costume. Some people had half assed their costumes and some people went all out. Their group, by all means, fit in perfectly.

And Mickey felt awkward and wanted to immediately leave.

Until Ian took his hand and pulled him close so that they wouldn’t get separated.

Mickey died then.

And then again when their group went to the bar to meet Mandy.

She was dressed in the tiniest, pathetic excuse for a “cat” costume, but since she was working she had to be costumer appropriate. To which Mickey thanked any god listening.

“So, these are all of Mickey’s new friends,” Mandy greeted.

“Surprised he has so many?” Fiona asked with a laugh.

“Surprised he has any,” Mandy laughed, leaning over the counter to leave a big red kiss on Mickey’s cheek. “Take care of him for me,” she said. “Especially you Ian,” she said with a wink.

Mickey wanted to murder her.

He flipped her off instead and let Ian pull him to the dance floor.

And, FUCK, could Ian dance. Mickey normally did not dance, but all he wanted in that moment was Ian’s amazing hips grinding against him. He vaguely remembered someone mentioning Ian working at a club. It showed. Although Mickey would have preferred Ian in something other than a Power Rangers costume. But oh well.

He didn’t even mind the press of heated bodies or the ear numbing music that usually annoyed him about clubs. He was hyper focused on Ian and Ian was hyper focused on him.

Ian bent over Mickey, pressing their mouths together and pushing his tongue into Mickey’s mouth. Mickey let him, groaning low as Ian pulled their bodies together. He tasted like alcohol and sugar and everything nice.

Mickey bit at Ian’s bottom lip as he pulled away slightly. All time and space seemed to slip away and Mickey felt like it was just them. Ian kissed Mickey again. He barely gave Mickey a moment to breathe; sucking the air out of his lungs. And Mickey was happy to die for him.

“Come with me,” Ian said roughly in Mickey’s ear, hand wrapped around his wrist. Mickey just nodded.

It was familiar and different at the same time, being let to the bathroom with sexual promises. It was something he’d done plenty in the past. But this time he was going with his _boyfriend_. And that was unfamiliar territory.

But Mickey was excited.

Maybe that was because of the alcohol.

The bathroom was dimly lit and the music would give them ample cover. Ian pulled him to the last stall and pushed Mickey inside. The moment the door locked, Ian had his thigh pressed between Mickey’s legs and his mouth on Mickey’s jaw.

“I’ve wanted you so bad but didn’t wanna mess things up,” Ian said as he kissed down Mickey’s neck. Mickey threaded his fingers through Ian’s short hair.

“Me too,” he ground out, pressing his body against Ian’s. He was hard and he could feel Ian’s erection pressed against his stomach.

“I want all of you. Everything from you. Everything you’ll give me,” Ian babbled as he unzipped Mickey’s costume. Mickey used his free hand to pull Ian’s face to his so that he could kiss him. He shoved his tongue into Ian’s mouth and Ian yanked Mickey’s costume down.

Mickey felt over heated and Ian was just adding gasoline to the fire that burned in him. Ian’s mouth slipped lower, across Mickey’s nipples and down his chest. Mickey tugged Ian’s hair, biting back groans.

Ian’s mouth ghosted over the head of Mickey’s cock and he almost came then and there. It was perfect. Ian was perfect. Ian’s _mouth_ was so goddamn fucking perfect that Mickey felt like it was actually going to kill him.

And he’d happily let it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think!! I will update again soon~


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again to all the lovely old readers who have stuck around and to new readers as well! I've planned out the last few chapters of this story, so there will be an ending! The last chapter will take place during New Years. 
> 
> Also sorry if the tone of this chapter is a bit different. With my writing style changing from when I started this story, I'm still trying to find the right voice for the story. But I hope you all still enjoy!

 

Mickey had never had a latte with the fancy drawing on top, but the café Ian took him to had the customers pick a mug and order in. Now they were tucked in a corner booth with the wall at their backs and the heat from the fire place warming their legs.

The café was busy, students occupying most of the seats, but none of them paying attention to Ian and Mickey.

Mickey was fiddling with his napkin, trying not to stare at Ian and his fresh haircut and the way his clothes were all so well fitting and his hands that were warm and had done wonderful, wonderful things to Mickey over the weekend.

He hoped he wasn’t fucking blushing as his mind ran over the events of Halloween night _again_.

“Do you like it? I like this place because it stays pretty quiet even when its busy,” Ian said. Mickey watched Ian sip his drink and smiled.

“It’s very you,” he said and finally took a drink of his own coffee. He would never have walked in there on his own and he felt like he stuck out like a sore thumb, but Ian helped smooth all that over. No one looked at him twice when he was next to Ian though Mickey’s exterior looked rather rough even when dressed for work.

“Hardly,” Ian muttered. Mickey gave him a sly smile.

“What? Too fancy for tough old Ian?” Mickey joked. Ian rolled his eyes.

“I’m not used to being the one to take someone to a nice play,” Ian admitted. They’d been doing that a lot; trading parts of the childhoods with each other.

“Now you’re the old rich dude,” Mickey laughed and Ian shrugged.

“At least I’m younger than you,” he said. Now Mickey rolled his eyes.

“Hardly. You make it sound like I’m trying to rob the fucking cradle.”

“What are you going to do when Yev wants to date someone?” Ian asked. Mickey groaned.

“Die. I don’t know. I’m hoping the where babies come from talk scares him into waiting to be with someone. But I think about me and fuck I was like thirteen?”

“Was it a girl?” Ian asked. Mickey nodded.

“I knew I didn’t like them, girls that is, but it was what I was supposed to do. I let a guy blow me when I was fifteen,” Mickey explained. Ian nodded.

“Fiona and Lip were practically shoving girls down my throat. I tried to pretend, but when they wanted sex I couldn’t.”

“When did old dudes come into the picture?” Mickey asked. Ian shrugged.

“Like fourteen. Looking back it kind of makes me sick, but they bought me things and had nice houses and I’d do anything to escape.”

Mickey watched Ian lean back in his chair, shoving his hands into his pockets. “You’re honestly the first person who hasn’t been toxic, Mickey,” Ian told him. Mickey felt his cheeks heat up and he looked away.

“Don’t say stupid shit, Gallagher,” Mickey muttered. He could feel Ian grinning at him.

“Are you going to talk to Yev about us tonight?” Ian asked changing the subject. Mickey nodded.

“Yeah. I’m ready to do it and I know he’s like going to be fucking thrilled, so there’s no real sense in keeping it from him. And it’d be weird to be like yeah Ian is spending Thanksgiving with us and Mandy for no reason even though he has his own family.”

Ian laughed quietly. “True,” he said looking at Mickey over the top of his mug. “Let me know how it goes.”

“Oh I’m so sure Yev will want to make the phone call himself. Hell, he’ll probably tell his entire class,” Mickey grumbled.

“That’s cute,” Ian told him. Mickey flipped him off. “I can come with you to pick Yev up on Friday’s if that’s something you’d want to do together,” Ian said.

“I’d like that,” Mickey blurted before thoughts of being a perfect little family terrified him and made him say no.

“You sure?” Ian asked, looking concerned. Mickey looked at his hands and then fiddled with the cuffs. He wanted a cigarette or ten.

“Just the whole like…” he made some gesture without looking up. “Like family,” he grit out. “It’s always been a weak point. A broken point,” Mickey said sourly.

“And me being around what?” Ian asked. Mickey took a deep breath and looked at Ian.

“With you it feels perfect and whole and fucking white picket fucking fence and it terrifies me Ian,” he said, the honestly shocking him. He watched the contents of his mug swirl around.

“I know, Mickey,” Ian said softly. “I feel like one day I’m just going to ruin it or things will fall apart. I’m not the most stable person and I come from such a mess that I know, but I think that’s also why it works? We’re on the same page from similar beginnings. At least that’s how I see it. I talk about it with my therapist a lot because I don’t want to mess it up. I’m afraid too Mickey.”

“I want you to know I wouldn’t leave because you are mentally ill,” Mickey said. Nothing Ian had ever said worried him as much as Ian thinking his sickness would make Mickey leave. “I mean I know I can’t fix it, but I’ll be there. It’s just like Yev, it’s life and you have to fucking deal with it, not toss those people aside,” Mickey said firmly. Ian sighed.

“You’re going to make me emotional in public asshole,” Ian muttered, pushing his palms against his eyes. “Wanna go out and smoke?”

“Fucking yes thank god,” Mickey said almost desperately. They bundled up quickly and headed out into the blustery November afternoon. Mickey lit them each a cigarette and they walked in silence as they smoked.

The cold air felt good. Ian was right, it was getting way too emotional back there and emotions were hard for Mickey. At least in a way because Ian made emotions feel easy. Ian made him feel so many things that Mickey didn’t know where to start.

“I like how the sun makes your hair glow,” Mickey said dumbly as they lit up again. Ian shot him a grin. Mickey rolled his eyes.

“I like how your eyes are like really dark blue. Like I’m going to drown in them.”

“Maybe you already did,” Mickey laughed and then instantly hated himself for saying something so dumb. But Ian laughed.

“I probably have. Maybe you’re a siren Mickey,” Ian said, bumping their hands together. Mickey laced their fingers together.

“Yev would take you up on that theory,” Mickey said and Ian laughed again as he paused. Mickey stopped too and looked at him. Ian was smiling all bright and looking at Mickey. Like really looking like he knew everything there was to know about Mickey and was still searching for more.

Mickey was about to ask him what the fuck he was looking at when Ian leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Mickey’s lips. Mickey sighed into the kiss, trying to ignore that Ian could probably tell he needed fucking chapstick like yesterday.

Ian squeezed Mickey’s hand as he slowly moved their lips together. Pushing into Mickey like he was the only thing to keep him standing. When he pulled away he smiled at Mickey again.

“I just really needed to kiss you,” Ian said and Mickey shrugged, looking away and feeling his face flush.

 

 

 

After dinner of hot dogs and fries, Mickey sat with Yev on the couch to do some reading. They did ten minutes of reading from the books he got for his accelerated reading class and then ten minutes of reading whatever was Yev’s current favorite book. Which currently meant Mickey got to hear about whatever the fuck a Ninjago was.

When his reading was done, Mickey turned on the TV. He’d been putting off bringing up his relationship with Ian. He didn’t know why exactly, but serious conversations were always a weak point.

“Hey Yev,” Mickey said tapping his arm to get his attention.

“What?” Yev asked without looking away from the TV.

“Yev,” Mickey said again, tugging his shirtsleeve. “Look at me.”

“What?” Yev asked again not turning. Mickey sighed, turning Yev’s head to get his attention.

“Listen,” he said and signed at Yev.

“To what?” Yev asked.

“I have something important to tell you,” Mickey said while signing. Yev nodded, giving Mickey a curious look. “I’m…” Mickey started. He didn’t exactly know how to sign the word dating so he spelled it out. “I’m dating Ian,” he said in a rush.

Yev’s eyes went wide. “Like you kiss him?” Yev asked bluntly. Mickey wanted to throw himself off the balcony.

“Yes I guess,” Mickey said, resigned.

Yev grinned wide showing off his missing teeth. “I like Ian. Is he going to sleepover here now?” he asked. Mickey shrugged. Maybe if he and Ian planned to only sleep. “Like in your bed? Because that’s what Aunt Mandy says people do when they date. They sleep and they kiss. Is he your boyfriend?”

“Okay stop yes I don’t know, sure yeah he’s my boyfriend I guess,” Mickey said with a groan. Yev just smiled wider.

“Good I like sleep overs,” he said and Mickey could see it now; Yev curled up in bed between him and Ian fuck. Fuck that was going to give Mickey a heart attack.

“I know. Go get ready for bed,” Mickey said shooing Yev off as he headed out for a cigarette.

As he smoked he texted Ian ‘I told him.’

Ian responded with ‘What’d he say?’

‘He wants us to all have sleepovers now’ Mickey texted back with a sigh.

The cat was out of the fucking bag meaning his relationship with Ian was now a hundred times more real.

A relationship. A romantic relationship.

For a moment, Mickey didn’t recognize himself. He’d pulled it all together in a handful of years. No more running. He was respectable now.

Or was trying to be.

Mickey exhaled the smoke he was holding in when his phone dinged.

‘I like sleepovers ;D ‘ Ian wrote and Mickey grinned.

He was so fucked.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is sad. TW for suicidal thoughts.

 

Mickey fell heavily into bed. He’d gotten off the phone with Ian after over three hours of broken conversation. Ian promised he still felt in control, but watching and hearing him slip into depression was terrifying. He said over and over it was just because of the holidays and Mickey told him it was okay as long as he felt he was still safe.

The college was closed for the entire week of Thanksgiving and Ian was going to go stay with Fiona to be extra safe. Which also worried him because he didn’t want to cause issues with Liam. It was a messy situation that Mickey let Ian ramble about on the phone at midnight.

Sleep was evading Mickey. All he could think about was how disconnected Ian had sounded. Every time seemed worse than the last. But Mickey had gotten him to stop apologizing for all of it. Just Ian alone in his apartment worried Mickey.

Mickey wandered into the kitchen and sat at the counter. He opened his lap top again and researched bipolar disorder and depression. He’d read all the articles over and over and they mostly just scared him, but he read them over and over hoping to find the answer to helping Ian.

When they’d gotten together over the last week, Ian had done his best to put on a smile. Which only annoyed Mickey. He didn’t like Ian looking so fake.

He genuinely smiled when they’d go to pick up Yev though and that made Mickey slightly relieved. To know that Ian could still smile.

And then there were the times when Ian would cry. He’d curl into Mickey, apologizing as he sobbed, and Mickey never felt more helpless.

Mickey just wanted to hold Ian and protect him from everything.

 

Morning came and Mickey woke up on the couch when Yev jumped on top of him. “I made a card for you to take to Ian today,” Yev said pressing his forehead against Mickey’s.

“Okay,” Mickey said kissing Yev’s nose. Mickey had tried his best to explain that Ian’s brain was sick and it was making him sad. Yev just shrugged and asked when he’d be better. Mickey said it could be awhile, but he’d let Yev know how Ian was feeling.

Yev sat back on Mickey’s lap and held up the card. “I drew me and Ian and then things Ian likes. And some things I like too,” he explained.

“That was really nice of you Yev. He’ll love it,” Mickey said, standing up and taking Yev with him. “I’m also shocked you have your hearing aids on.”

Yev shrugged as Mickey carried him to his room and dumped him on his bed. “Now get dressed so we can eat and get to school.”

Mickey went back into the kitchen holding the card. He felt like he was being worn thin. Not in a bad way, but in a suddenly he had a lot of emotions to deal with way.

Fuck it was hard. He ran a hand over his face. He would shower after taking Yev to school even though he wanted to run immediately to Ian. Mickey needed to shower and strong coffee and then just continue.

Fiona had called the other day and told him not to wear himself out with Ian, but how could he not? Ian was important. He was special. He was Mickey’s and Mickey had gone into it knowing there were going to be times like this. He was ready, but he couldn’t exactly be prepared.

“Dad!” Yev yelled, startling Mickey.

“Fuck, what?” he snapped. Yev grinned at him.

“I made you scared!” he yelled triumphantly, going to take a seat at the counter. Mickey rolled his eyes, pulling the cereal out of the cabinet.

“Just eat while I put on clothes,” Mickey told him, shoving the cereal at him. Yev snickered, but did as he was told.

 

In the short walk to Ian’s apartment, Mickey went through four entire cigarettes and still felt like it hadn’t been enough. He’d texted Ian that he was outside and Ian replied saying that the door was unlocked. Mickey rocked on the balls of his feet for a moment, before opening the door and heading inside.

There were no lights on in the apartment and no dishes on the counter this time. Mickey hung up his coat and toed off his shoes by the door. He hung Yev’s card on the fridge with a magnet and went into Ian’s room.

Ian was where Mickey had last seen him; curled on his side in his bed wearing the same shirt and sweatpants. Mickey approached him, stroking his hair for a moment before sitting on the edge of the bed. “You awake? Do you want me to make you something?” Mickey asked.

After a full minute Ian said, “I’m too tired.”

“Later than,” Mickey said. “Before I leave.”

Ian said nothing. Mickey focused on cracking his knuckles. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know if Ian wanted him to be quiet or what.

And that stressed him out even more.

So, Mickey got up and went to the other side of the bed. He climbed under the covers and crowded into Ian’s space. Ian looked at him with bloodshot eyes.

“Hey,” Mickey said softly. “I don’t know what to do, but I’m right here okay?”

Ian looked away. Mickey kissed his temple. He wished he knew more ways to cope then drugs and alcohol. Everything he read online made sense, but he didn’t know if Ian would want him to do those things.

“Mickey,” Ian whispered.

“Hmm?”

“I want to die.”

The words made Mickey’s blood run cold.

“Ian…”

“I know I promised that I was okay last night, but I was lying,” he whispered so softly that Mickey almost didn’t hear. “You’d all be able to enjoy your holidays.”

“Ian,” Mickey said sitting up. He reached to pull Ian to him, but Ian pushed away. Mickey grabbed him anyway. Ian sobbed against Mickey’s chest.

“Telling someone is what you’re supposed to do,” Mickey said trying to keep his voice steady. “Were you going to… do something?” he asked.

Ian nodded. Mickey wanted to throw up.

“In the bathroom,” Ian sobbed.

“It’s okay. I’m here now. It’s going to be okay,” Mickey said feeling numb all over. He fumbled with his phone, calling Fiona to tell her there was an emergency. She told Mickey to stay calm and that she’d be right there and they’d take him to the hospital.

“I don’t want to go,” Ian cried as Mickey stroked his hair.

“Just for a little while, so that you can feel better,” Mickey whispered. “Just for a little while so that you are safe and we will feel better when you’re safe,” Mickey said feeling like he was rambling, but he felt like if he stopped talking he’d start crying too. “You don’t need to cry Ian. You were so brave to tell me. I’m so glad you told me so that I can help you. I don’t know what we’d do without you.”

Mickey rocked Ian like he did with Yev when Yev was sick. He wanted to gather Ian up and shield him from everything. “It’s all going to be okay,” Mickey said over and over again until the front door opened and Fiona came into the bedroom.

It took a while to get Ian into his shoes and a sweatshirt. As they left the apartment, Mickey went into the bathroom to look at all of Ian’s medication out on the counter. The pills were lined up neatly with a full glass of water.

Mickey felt bile rise in his throat. He shut off the light and left the apartment. Ian hadn’t done anything. He’d told them before he did anything. They were going to go get him help.

Mickey sat in the middle, letting Ian sit in the passenger seat. The ride to the hospital was silent, but one of Ian’s doctors was waiting for them when they came in. Fiona must have called.

Ian held Mickey’s hand tightly, looking lost and upset. The doctor talked to Fiona.

“It’ll be like last time,” the doctor said. “We will tweak his dosage for a while and down the road, say a few months from now, we can cut back again if he feels like he’s in a position to do that.”

“Okay,” Fiona said and turned to Ian. “Okay Ian? Just a little change like that last time. And then you can come stay with me or Mickey during winter break. Okay? You won’t be here for too long,” she said taking his other hand. “I’m so proud of you,” she said wrapping him in a hug. She whispered more to him that Mickey didn’t hear. When she pulled back, there were tears in her eyes.

“Ready to go?” the doctor asked Ian. He looked sadly at Mickey.

“I’m sorry I ruin everything,” he said sadly. Mickey pulled him into a hug. Ian clung to him.

“Stop apologizing. Nothing is ruined. There is always a next time,” Mickey told him. He wanted to say move, but knew Ian was probably too fragile. “I’ll visit with Fiona or whatever,” he added, kissing Ian’s cheek. Ian nodded, letting go of Mickey and Mickey’s hand.

His hand felt instantly cold.

Mickey stood with Fiona until they couldn’t see Ian anymore. He watched her rub her tears away with her sleeve.

“Wanna go smoke?” she asked, voice shaking.

“Yeah,” Mickey said. They headed outside to the designated smoking area, which was thankfully empty. So no one could see them huddled together crying.  


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is sex in this chapter, so just be prepared!!

Twelve days was so fucking long. Every day dragged and Mickey’s chest ached. Fiona took him to the hospital every day. The first few, Ian wasn’t really there. Whatever they’d given him to help him sleep made him zombie-like. Half the time he’d doze off slumped against Mickey’s shoulder.

Since they were trying a treatment they’d done before, the doctor didn’t want to keep Ian any longer than necessary. So, after twelve long days, Ian was released into Fiona’s care.

Fiona picked Mickey and Yev up after dinner. Mickey had wanted to take the day off to go with to get Ian, but he didn’t want to trouble Fiona with driving back and forth constantly. Ian told Mickey not to worry about it.

Mickey felt like he was the only one on edge about Ian. He _seemed_ better, but was it going to last? Was he really feeling okay? All the thoughts kept him awake late into the night. The last few days they’d visited, Ian had seemed more like himself and definitely more relaxed. He gave Mickey soft smiles and sat holding Mickey’s hand; running his fingers over Mickey’s chapped knuckles.

The ride to Fiona’s was quiet and when they arrived, Yev ran right into Ian’s arms. It tugged at Mickey’s heart in a good way. Explaining everything with Ian to Yev had been difficult. He didn’t quite understand why Ian couldn’t just be at home or how his brain got sick. Fiona talked to Yev which might have helped, but Mickey couldn’t really tell. He just kept asking when they’d see Ian.

“Did you get all my pictures?” Yev shouted at Ian as Ian carried him through the front door. Mickey didn’t hear what he said because Elise started yelling her hellos, but Yev was smiling when Ian set him down.

The kids disappeared into the basement and Fiona headed upstairs to check on Liam, leaving Mickey alone with Ian in the front hall. Mickey chewed on his lip, staring at Ian. Ian held out his hand and Mickey took it, letting Ian pull him close and push their mouths together.

Mickey sighed into the kiss, reaching up to pull Ian’s face closer. He felt embarrassment rush through him when Ian licked into his mouth, but he didn’t pull away. Instead he pushed into Ian wanting to melt into him. Sure the house around them was loud and alive, but it felt like it was just Mickey and Ian.

When they finally broke apart they were panting and half hard and Mickey was NOT about to fool around with Ian in Fiona’s house. Ian raised a brow and Mickey scowled. Ian laughed.

“Cigarette?” Ian asked. Mickey nodded. Ian took his hand again and headed toward the backyard.

They smoked in silence. Mickey wasn’t sure what to say. Regular conversation? That he was glad Ian was home? Everything sounded fucking wrong.

“I’m okay, Mickey,” Ian finally said. Mickey watched Ian drag a hand through his hair. “I… this is different. It’s always been my family there for me after things get bad? But now there’s you and Yev and…” Ian sighed, flicking ash into the grass. “When I finally felt more in control, I wanted to work real hard to be okay again so I could be with you… because I knew you were waiting for me,” he finished quietly. He looked at Mickey who stared at him. “Is that okay?”

Mickey swallowed the lump in his throat. “Yeah,” he pushed out feeling overly emotional which kind of freaked him out. Ian gave him a small smile.

“I think I fell in love with you Milkovich,” he said with a small laugh, looking away.

Mickey’s mouth almost fell open in shock. He’d been ignoring that feeling for Ian because he wasn’t sure Ian felt the same way, but hearing it. Ian had just said he loved Mickey. He’d only heard those words from Yev and Mandy. No one had ever been in love with him.

“I did too,” Mickey said. Ian gave him a blinding smile.

“What was that Mickey?” he asked. Mickey grumbled at the teasing. He stubbed his cigarette out and turned to go inside. “I want to hear it,” Ian teased. Mickey scowled at him.

“I think I love you too,” Mickey mumbled. Ian gave him another blinding smile and followed Mickey inside.

 

===========================================

 

Christmas arrived in the blink of an eye. Mickey and Yev were spending it at Fiona’s house after spending Christmas Eve with Mandy.

They still set up a small tree in the apartment. Ian had come over one evening and they covered the tree in lights and ornaments while Yev blasted Christmas music. Mickey drank spiked eggnog while the other two crowded into the kitchen to make gingerbread cookies.

Mickey watched from the couch in a daze. They were doing the happy little family with a white picket fence thing, except this time it was real. Mickey wasn’t sure how it happened. How his life did such a complete 180. But there they all were, Yev smearing Ian’s face with flour while Ian laughed.

Ian was a fast learner, picking up sign language way faster than Mickey had. Mickey knew Ian had always loved Yev. He didn’t need Ian to say it to know. But seeing Ian go the extra mile to communicate with the most important part of Mickey’s life made Mickey feel all gooey inside.

Which was fucking terrifying, but now he had Ian whispering reassurances in his ear while they hugged and kissed and cuddled and played family.

 

Mickey kissed Yev’s forehead. Him and Ian had taken turns singing Christmas carols to Yev until he fell asleep. Ian was staying the night, then Fiona would pick them all up and take Mickey and Yev to Mandy’s for Christmas Eve and Mandy would drive them to Fiona’s when they were done.

In Mickey’s dark bedroom, Ian pushed Mickey against the wall, kissing him roughly. Mickey clutched at the front of Ian’s shirt letting Ian push his tongue into Mickey’s mouth while his fingers raked through Mickey’s hair.

“Will you sleep with me?” Ian panted into his ear, letting his hand run down Mickey’s side to cup his half chub.

“Yeah,” Mickey said breathlessly which would have annoyed him, except for Ian squeezed his cock and all of Mickey’s coherent thoughts left his brain. He moaned softly as Ian kissed his jaw and dragged his tongue down Mickey’s neck.

He pulled Mickey’s shirt up over his head while Mickey pawed at the buttons of Ian’s flannel. “Bed, bed, bed,” Mickey stuttered as Ian licked over his nipples.

“Mmm.” Ian pulled them away from the door, kissing Mickey again, nipping at his bottom lip before pushing Mickey back onto the bed. Mickey was panting and hard and his struggled out of his jeans, eyes glued to Ian as he undressed.

Mickey had seen Ian naked before. They had slightly awkward skype sex once last week, but seeing Ian naked in front of Mickey was another experience entirely.

“I wanna suck your cock,” Mickey murmured as he backed up on the bed. Ian climbed over him, caging Mickey.

“Another time. I won’t last if I let you and I want to fuck you,” Ian said punctuating the words with a rough kiss. He ground his hips against Mickey’s making him groan into Ian’s mouth. Mickey clung to Ian, fingers digging into the muscles of his back as Ian took his apart.

Mickey took a moment to stare at the ceiling and try to catch his breath as Ian went to the nightstand to get lube and a condom.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Ian said. Mickey looked at him, standing at the end of the bed slowly pumping his cock.

“Just come on,” Mickey panted and Ian was on him again, sucking on Mickey’s tongue while one lubed finger pushed into Mickey. Mickey clenched, willing himself not to come as Ian worked his finger in and out while kissing down Mickey’s chest.

Mickey buried his fingers in Ian’s hair as Ian gently teased a nipple. When Mickey was arching off the bed, Ian pushed a second finger in. Mickey wanted to tell Ian to fuck him already, but he bit his lip instead.

When Ian finally deemed Mickey ready, Mickey almost sobbed with relief. Ian moved up to kiss him after putting the condom on. It was a slow and dirty kiss that made Mickey’s fingers and toes tingle.

“Okay,” Ian whispered and Mickey felt Ian slowly press into him.

It was a lot. A fucking lot. Mickey could barely remember the last time he had sex and there’d never been a time when it was this good. His own cock was smearing sticky precome across his stomach as Ian slowly fucked into him. He rocked his hips slow, holding Mickey tight as he did. Ian had a great cock. 10 out of fucking 10 and when Ian was fully inside of him all Mickey could do was claw at Ian’s back and gasp.

His thrusts were sharp but slow, pulling pleasure out of Mickey. Mickey groaned gratefully when Ian finally kissed him, pressing their bodies tight together.

“I’m not gonna last,” Ian whispered in his ear. Mickey was glad because he’d been ready to explode since the door closed.

Ian moved his hand between them and jacked Mickey in time with his thrusts. Mickey’s entire body wound tighter and tighter and pleasure rushed through him until he finally snapped, spilling hot and thick all over Ian’s hand. Ian groaned loud before fucking Mickey in earnest, chasing his own orgasm.

Mickey grunted, pulling Ian down for a kiss as Ian came. They stayed locked together for a moment, Ian’s weight on top of Mickey, as they caught their breath.

“Fuck,” Mickey finally said. Ian pushed up onto his elbows.

“Fuck is right,” Ian said with a smile, pressing a soft kiss to Mickey’s mouth.

 

======================================

 

Christmas Eve with Mandy and her boyfriend went as expected. Mickey had to drag Mandy outside for a cigarette because she was screaming excitedly about Ian fucking Mickey. She’d done the same thing when he’d told her they’d both said I love you.

“Look at us big brother, who the fuck are we?” she laughed.

“I really don’t fucking know,” Mickey said exhaling smoke into the cold night.

“I’m planning on getting engaged on New Year’s,” Mandy said. Mickey raised his eye brows. Mandy grinned. “He asked when I wanted to do it. If I wanted something grand or something and I said New Year’s was pretty romantic. But I said catch me by surprise.”

“Wow Mandy, I don’t… fuck wow,” Mickey laughed. “Congrats I guess.”

“Thanks,” she said and hip checked Mickey.

 

Mickey carried Yev up to Fiona’s house. He’d fallen asleep in the car after worrying Santa wouldn’t know he was at Fiona’s house. Mickey had promised Santa would know. They’d even written a letter just incase.

Yev mumbled as Mickey carried him upstairs to Elise and Ethan’s room. He tugged on Mickey’s shirt.

“One minute Yev,” Mickey said, putting him on the bottom bunk.

‘Will Santa find me?’ Yev signed with a yawn. Mickey smiled.

“I promise he will,” Mickey said and signed. He took Yev’s hearing aids to keep with him since they could easily disappear in a strange house. He kissed his forehead and tucked him into bed.

Back downstairs, he joined the adults in the living room to finish wrapping. Mickey looked at the mantle where a bunch of stockings sat crowded together. And there were his and Yev’s stockings right next to Ian’s.

“I like how that looks,” Mickey said as Ian slipped his hand into Mickey’s.

“Good because I do too,” he said with a small smile that Mickey loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And well folks, next chapter is the last chapter. Thanks for reading!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are at the end. I'm so happy I finished this fic. Thank you to all those who read, commented, kudosed, etc. especially those of you who were around since the beginning and through the two year hiatus. Thanks you all so much. I really liked write this and I'll always love Ian and Mickey. Happy New Year!!

Ian and Mickey had agreed to stay in on New Year’s at Fiona’s and watch all the kids. Even Lip dropped off his girls. Elise, Ethan, and Yev had built a pillow and blanket fort in the living room and were on their second movie, Spiderman. Lacey was asleep upstairs and Lucie was asleep on Ian’s chest.

It’d been a quiet evening despite all the treats the kids had to eat. That had lured Liam out of his room and he was currently in the blanket fort.

Ian had his head in Mickey’s lap and Mickey played with his hair. “Think they’ll make it to midnight?” he asked looking up at Mickey.

“Elise might, but I don’t know about the others,” Mickey said. “Yev won’t. If he makes it past ten I’ll be shocked,” he laughed. It was just past nine and they could already hear the yawns.

Mickey liked their quiet New Year’s. Ian hadn’t felt like doing anything crazy and Mickey was okay with that. There was even beer in the fridge that Mickey hadn’t felt like drinking. He was okay with Ian laying against him holding Lucie. It was a perfectly cute domestic evening.

Mickey thought about how the beginning of the year had been a drag, but that summer had changed everything. His job, Ian… so much was different in such a short time. He never wanted it to end.

New Year’s used to make him think about how he’d survived another miserable year, but this time Mickey was thinking of all the new opportunities a New Year brought.

 

None of the kids made it to midnight. Mickey fed Lucie as Ian switched over to the lame Chicago countdown. They whispered the numbers to each other. Ian smiled, leaning in to kiss Mickey as the clock hit midnight.

“Wanna go out and smoke?” Ian asked Mickey when they broke apart. Mickey nodded.

“Let me just lay Lucie down,” Mickey said.

“Okay, I’ll check the fort,” Ian said. They stood. Mickey watched Ian peek into the blanket fort before heading up to put Lucie in bed. He hadn’t held a baby in a long time. He hadn’t really held Yev as a baby. He’d initially been afraid when Ian handed Lucie to him, but she was a good baby. Tiny and small and fragile, but good.

Out back, Ian and Mickey sat on the deck steps in the below 0 temperature. Mickey lit two cigarettes quickly, sticking his between his lips before shoving his hands back into his pockets.

“Why’s it so fucking cold?” he grumbled. Ian snickered.

“I don’t know, but the steps are freezing my balls,” he said to Mickey. Mickey laughed because yeah his ass was frozen. “So what are your resolutions?” Ian asked.

Mickey shrugged, staring at the huge moon. It lit up the entire backyard.

“Keep looking forward?” he said and frowned. “That sounded better in my head,” he told Ian.

“It’s okay. I think it sounded fine,” Ian said. Mickey shrugged again. “What are your plans for the future?” Ian asked.

Another shrug.

“Well, you looked cute holding Lucie,” he said. Mickey felt himself blush.

“You did too,” he told Ian quietly. “I guess in the future well… I didn’t think about the future really until this year when I realized I could have nice things. A house, a job, a happy kid. I wouldn’t trade any of it for anything, and it makes me realize that I can have more like a bigger house, maybe some more kids, a dog or something, a husband,” Mickey said, trailing off to look at Ian.

“You want to get married?” Ian asked.

“I don’t really care, but if you asked one day, I’d marry you,” Mickey said making Ian give him that brilliant Ian smile.

“And more kids?” Ian asked.

“I think I could do one or two more. There are plenty of kids that need to be adopted. And besides, I can’t let you be the only one saving southside kids, Mr. Teacher,” Mickey said with a laugh.

“Mmm and we’d have a nice cozy house and a cat and a dog and Yev,” Ian said leaning against Mickey.

“And I’ll be there even if things get tough. These last few months were hard, but I know it could have been worse,” Mickey said softly.

“Come meet my therapist?” Ian asked, looking up at Mickey.

“Of course,” Mickey said when really he wanted to shout to the world that he’d do anything for Ian. Mickey took Ian’s cigarette and stubbed it out with his own. Then he leaned down and pushed their lips together. The angle was awkward but neither of them really cared.

“I love you Mickey Milkovich,” Ian whispered.

“I love you Ian Gallagher,” Mickey whispered back.

There was a thud behind them and they turned to see Elise and Yev with their faces pressed against the glass door watching them.

“Guess our time’s up,” Ian laughed. Mickey smiled standing with Ian. They went into the warm house and each picked up a kid.

“Bed,” Mickey said to Yev. Yev nuzzled against him.

“Is it New Year now?” he asked as Mickey headed upstairs. He watched Ian go up with Elise. One day they’d be doing this and it’d be their own family. Their own kids and their own house.

That thought made Mickey happier then he’d ever felt.

“Yeah, it’s the New Year Yev,” Mickey said lying Yev down. He took his hearing aids.

‘Happy New Year, dad,’ Yev signed with a big yawn. Mickey smiled, kissing him on the forehead.

‘Happy New Year, Yev,’ Mickey signed. Good things were on the horizon and Mickey was surrounded by people who loved him.

It was going to be a good year.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope everyone enjoyed. Thoughts and comments appreciated.  
> Rating of this story is subject to change.


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